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Mother-In-Law Insulted Daughter-In-Law And Suggested Her Son Have Babies With Her Friend

by Annie Nguyen
November 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Some comments from family members are so shocking, they leave you questioning if you’re in some strange nightmare. That’s exactly what happened when a Reddit user’s mother-in-law (MIL) decided to casually suggest that her husband help a close friend of theirs conceive a child.

This wasn’t a fleeting thought; it came after the MIL praised the friend’s beauty and suggested that her son’s “swimmers” might be the problem with the friend’s infertility. To top it off, she even offered to be an “extra grandma” to the potential babies. Want to hear the jaw-dropping details? Let’s dive in.

A mother-in-law suggested her son should help a friend conceive, claiming the friend’s husband was infertile

Mother-In-Law Insulted Daughter-In-Law And Suggested Her Son Have Babies With Her Friend
not the actual photo

'That Time She Suggested My Husband Have Babies with My Friend?'

The first truly, truly awful thing my MIL said to me was when my first child was just a few months old. (This occurred a long time ago.)

She was visiting us, and we went to take something to a friend of mine. This friend happened to be struggling to conceive.

MIL started going on about my friend's beautiful Venezuelan features (we are all very pale). My friend is quite pretty, I agree.

But then she started saying how beautiful her grandchildren would have been if her son was having babies with my friend instead.

While I'm in the back seat with her only grandchild, who I happened to think was the prettiest baby EVER, of course.

Then she said my husband should offer to help my friend conceive,

that surely the only problem was my friend's husband's inferior "swimmers".

And that she would gladly be an extra grandma to those beautiful babies.

From the outset, OP faced a disorienting and hurtful situation: their mother‑in‑law (MIL) made a deeply inappropriate suggestion, sharing her grandchild’s presence with them while simultaneously proposing the husband conceive with OP’s friend.

The emotional weight of that moment is clear: a loved one’s casual disrespect, paired with boundary‑crossing and betrayal.

At its core, the MIL’s behaviour reflects a breakdown in relational boundaries and role clarity. Research on Psychology Today shows that when a daughter‑in‑law feels her mother‑in‑law is interfering in the marital relationship, favours one child‑in‑law over another, or prevents direct communication, lower relational satisfaction follows.

According to Greif & Woolley (2019), boundary ambiguity, not knowing what role one is expected to play, significantly predicts poorer quality in the mother‑in‑law/daughter‑in‑law relationship.

From a psychological angle, the MIL’s behaviour may stem from a desire to assert control or reclaim relevance. Situations where a family member interrupts the autonomy of a couple or a mother figure for a child can create power‑struggles and emotional distress.

In this narrative, OP was not only displaced emotionally, but saw the very essence of their family being undermined.

On OP’s side, the experience of having one’s role as mother, and the role of the husband in that relationship, redefined by someone else is deeply destabilising.

The research points out that when lifelines of family support become sources of tension due to unclear roles and interference, the impact is far‑reaching: heightened anxiety, reduced trust, and erosion of sense of security.

The MIL’s suggestion that her son father children with OP’s friend while disregarding the existing family dynamic isn’t simply a tasteless remark, it represents a fundamental disregard for the couple’s boundaries and identity. It deep‑ens the boundary ambiguity.

According to the literature, “triangles” (when the spouse/son becomes the intermediary between mother‑in‑law and daughter‑in‑law) can further degrade the relationship.

The takeaway here connects both empirical insight and lived experience: Strong, healthy in‑law relationships require clarity of role, respect for the couple’s autonomy, and open communication lines that don’t leave the daughter‑in‑law feeling excluded or undermined.

In its absence, when the spouse or mother‑in‑law positions themselves into the couple’s private sphere in predatory or insensitive ways—the psychological toll is real.

In light of this, OP’s reaction = understandable. Feeling invisible and invalidated, they were pushed into a position of reevaluating how their relationships functioned and what boundaries needed to be enforced. It wasn’t revenge as much as survival of self, family unit, and emotional integrity.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

This group expressed outrage and disbelief at the MIL’s inappropriate comment

[Reddit User] − WOW. Please tell me you or husband gave her the verbal smack down she deserved

after saying something to inappropriate and rude!! And a LOOOOONG time out from LO

PaleMarionette − O.m.g. I have no words to accurately describe how fucked up that is.

CoffeeB4Talkie − And please tell me that your DH shut her TF down.

These commenters echoed strong feelings of anger, calling out the MIL’s behavior as vile

Yogiktor − What a vile, stupid cunt. (Both of them) Sorry. I don’t have much of a filter even on my good days and this s__t makes my blood boil.

Pipsqueek409 − OMG I'm so sickened and enraged on your behalf for her suggestion! She is just vile!

SaltyJusticeWarrior − I hope you got custody of your kid after the divorce.

I wonder how parents protect their kids from toxic MILs after divorce when the other parent is enabling the toxicity.

This group added to the disgust, with some humorously referencing extreme cultural references

[Reddit User] − plucky deserted lush poor fuzzy shocking gullible degree alleged wine

YouShotMelanieYUP − Gross. She thinks she has a say in her son’s sperm.

musicalnix − Oh that is disgusting. She would probably end up an Aunt in The Handmaid's Tale or something.

I'm so sorry you had to endure that during such a precious time.

These Redditors shared their own personal stories of standing up to overbearing relatives

xthatwasmex − Meanwhile, my almostYesMIL went white with shock when I told her that if she wanted grandkids out of SO,

she had to convince him to breed elsewhere. Youknow, like a non-l__atic person that has her baby-rabies shut down.

Vonnybon − That really is truly awful. Hope you and little one are doing much better now and are free of such craziness.

What would you have done if you were in OP’s shoes? Do you think OP’s husband should have handled this differently? Share your thoughts and reactions below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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