Living with family can be complicated, especially when boundaries are constantly tested. A woman who offered her sister a temporary place to stay found herself facing increasingly difficult situations as her sister repeatedly crossed her boundaries.
From moving her piano into the bathroom to demanding she stop playing the violin that provided her livelihood, tensions finally boiled over. After giving her sister multiple chances to respect her space, the woman made the tough decision to kick her sister out.
Now, she’s questioning whether she overreacted by kicking her sister out for good, or if her actions were justified given the circumstances. Was she wrong for refusing to compromise on her needs, or was her sister’s behavior unreasonable? Keep reading to see how others feel about this complicated family dilemma.
A woman wonders if she’s wrong for kicking her sister out over constant complaints about her violin playing
Physical space and personal needs must be respected for relationships to remain healthy. The OP’s hurt and frustration didn’t come from disliking her sister; it came from feeling that her home, her livelihood, and her boundaries were repeatedly violated.
As a professional musician, daily violin practice isn’t just a hobby, it’s her income source. When her sister moved in and then continually dismissed the impact of that practice, it wasn’t simply noise she was complaining about; it was the OP’s work, identity, and emotional space being repeatedly undermined.
Psychologists emphasize that healthy boundaries are essential for both maintaining personal well‑being and sustaining relationships. Healthy boundaries “help you strengthen relationships, avoid unhealthy connections, and improve self‑esteem and overall well‑being.”
Boundaries include limits on physical actions, personal space, responsibilities, and the way others treat you, all of which were repeatedly crossed in this scenario. (HelpGuide.org)
Experts also explain that clear, assertive communication, not avoidance or surprise ultimatums, is the backbone of healthy boundary setting. Healthy boundaries require self‑awareness, clear expectations of what is and isn’t acceptable, and respectful communication about those needs. (PositivePsychology.com)
In the OP’s case, she did attempt to communicate earlier that the living situation was temporary and that her practice was essential. However, that early communication didn’t result in meaningful change and her sister continued to cross boundaries, even placing the OP’s piano in a humid bathroom and demanding silence incompatible with the OP’s work schedule.
Setting and enforcing boundaries is a form of self‑care and self‑respect, not cruelty. Psychology Today highlights that healthy people say “no” without guilt and are able to communicate limits even when it’s uncomfortable.
The OP did precisely that she gave warnings, she reminded her sister of the temporary nature of the arrangement, and she reiterated her needs. When those communications were ignored or mocked, further boundary setting became necessary.
That said, the way the OP carried out her boundary, boxing up her sister’s belongings and moving her out, was abrupt and had emotional consequences.
Even when boundaries are justified, experts note that direct and compassionate communication alongside those boundaries fosters better long‑term relationship health.
In conclusion, the OP’s desire for boundaries around her space and music is understandable and in line with psychological guidance on healthy boundaries. Her sister repeatedly violated those boundaries despite clear communication.
However, the method of enforcement, sudden eviction, might be seen as extreme; more gradual or empathetic communication could have lessened the emotional fallout. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to mean abandoning empathy, even while protecting your own needs.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
These users supported the OP, emphasizing the importance of practicing as a professional musician and pointing out that the sister should either adapt or leave
This group condemned the sister’s entitlement, stating that guests shouldn’t dictate rules in someone else’s home
These commenters highlighted the sister’s disregard for the OP’s career and needs
This group advised the OP to stand firm and protect their professional space
These users criticized the sister for repeating the same problematic behavior, suggesting that her actions might indicate deeper personality issues
What do you think? Was Emily wrong for kicking her sister out? Was Emily justified in kicking Sarah out, or should she have handled it differently? Share your thoughts below!
