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Only Guy In The Family Constantly Excluded From Every ‘Girls Day,’ Finally Speaks Up

by Annie Nguyen
December 9, 2025
in Social Issues

Being close with your family can be wonderful, but it becomes complicated when the dynamic shifts and suddenly you are no longer included. A tradition that starts out playful can take on a different tone when it begins replacing moments that were once meant for everyone.

For someone who already stands out as the only man in a family full of women, the sense of being left behind can settle in quickly.

That is where one Redditor found himself after a set of weekly girls day outings turned into birthday celebrations, special events and even the annual family vacation. What stung the most was not the activity itself, but the message behind it.

When he finally spoke up about how hurt he felt, the reaction he received only pushed him further away. Scroll for the full dilemma and how he described the tension building at home.

A man feels increasingly shut out as his all-female family celebrates milestones and even plans vacations without him

Only Guy In The Family Constantly Excluded From Every ‘Girls Day,’ Finally Speaks Up
not the actual photo

'AITA for objecting to 'girls day'?'

I'm a 28 y/o male and my immediate family is all women,

mostly this is because I was raised by my mother and have no contact with my father's side of the family

due to a messy divorce when I was young.

My two sisters (early 30s), my three aunts (two who are my mother's sisters

and one married into the family and married my aunt),

and they have an assortment of close friends of the family all of which are women that also go to these events.

About 3 years ago, my mother had an idea to do a 'girls only' weekend.

Originally this was to see one of the Magic Mike movies,

and because it was such a hit, they started to do these weekend outings once or twice a month.

Originally it didn't bother me, because I'm an adult and I have my own life,

and my own house, and I really didn't even think about it.

But an incident recently made me annoyed at the whole concept.

My aunt's birthday was in January and normally we go to her favorite restaurant for her birthday,

which also incidentally is my favorite restaurant.

So I bought her a present and a card, and waited for an invitation and none came.

When I asked what was going on for her birthday, I was told they celebrated it early on their girls' day

because she was going to be out of state during her birthday.

This kind of irked me because when I mentioned I bought her a present,

my mother told me to just drive over to her house and give it to her.

I felt pretty left out since I am the only male in my immediately family,

having a 'girls day' is the equivalent to saying 'hey let's celebrate my birthday but not invite him'.

I griped about and was told that I was basically being self-centered and that she can celebrate her birthday however she wants.

I agree with that, but once again, I'm the only one being left out and it feels s__tty.

The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back was I was just also just informed

that they were planning a summer vacation this year as 'girls only' too,

and when I asked my mother what about the vacation we normally take as a family,

she told me that they can't afford to do both so they are just doing the girls only vacation this year.

At this point I was VERY annoyed and had a loud argument with my mother and sister,

telling them that it's really s__tty that twice a month they have group activities and specifically exclude me,

and on top of that are now even taking vacations and excluding me.

Nothing came of the argument and they wouldn't budge,

so I decided I needed a break from my immediate family because they don't consider my feelings relevant.

So I removed myself from the family group chat and deactivated my Facebook.

Now my phone is being blown up and I'm being told that I'm immature and I need to grow up.

I responded that a lot of grown people don't see much of their family at all

and I'm just going to follow that example. Am I the a__hole here?

UPDATE: Hello. This is an update to my previous post.

This last month has been kind of wild for me so I haven't had an opportunity to update this until now.

So the descriptions of my family and my family situation in this thread was specific enough

that one of my family members found out about it and confronted me.

Due to the fact that I had deactivated my Facebook and was only receiving text messages,

I didn't realize what was happening before I was ambushed by it.

My sister (oldest) confronted me about it and asked if it was me who made the thread and I confirmed that it was.

And she insisted I was being s__tty for airing the family's laundry like that.

I responded that I in no way did that as I was speaking very generally and never identified who my family was.

This spread to my family and now the thread was shared on Facebook and everyone was shown.

I was invited to a family meeting (we never have those)

where I was sat in front of a firing squad of angry women who told me that what I did was wrong and demanded an apology.

They said that 'I knew' they weren't excluding me and because I gave everyone that impression, I owed them an apology.

I replied that I absolutely did NOT know they were not excluding me, and included examples of things they did

(such as the birthday dinner, going to an amusement park, and going to a baseball game).

Once again they characterized this as a girls only event of fun where boys just weren't allowed or welcome

because they wanted to talk about things guys wouldn't be interested in.

I replied that she needs to stop saying 'guys' because there is only one guy who would have been invited

and that's me, so what she's really saying it its a no-OP event, not a girls only event.

They explained that it wasn't excluding me because regardless of whether I was interested in the event

the conversation would have bored me because I'm not a girl.

At this point we were going around in circles so I just explained my perspective.

I said that I'm the only male in our immediate family,

when the people in my immediate family get together on a regular basis (not a one off or once in a while)

and don't include me, regardless of what they called it I feel excluded.

I explained that the breaking point was the family vacation,

and that there was absolutely no reason to leave me out of a vacation I was always invited to,

particularly when that's the only family vacation we do and they've stated they cannot afford a second one.

At the end of this family meeting, I was never given an apology,

no one tried to empathize with my perspective, and I was accused of many things

that I didn't do by any reasonable interpretation.

I told my mother and my sisters that we reached a breaking point in our relationship and that I was going no contact for a while.

I told them I'm an adult, and I have my own life, and the reason I wanted to be involved was that

I didn't want one of those family relationships where you only see your family at holidays.

If that's not what my family wants then it's okay,

but I told them that I was not going to be involved with people who made me feel s__tty

and intentionally leave me on the outside looking in of my own family.

My mother/sisters told me that if I was going to lie about them to everyone that they don't care.

At this point, my relationship with my family is over.

I left that family meeting and have not reactivated Facebook

and have not received any contact and have not initiated any contact. Que sera, sera.

Being excluded by the people you love hurts as much as any physical pain. In families, where bonds are supposed to offer belonging, being left out can sting the deepest, especially when that exclusion becomes a pattern rather than a one-off misstep.

In this situation, the man doesn’t just feel rejected once or twice; he’s watched birthday dinners, vacations, regular outings happen repeatedly without him. That kind of omission doesn’t feel accidental, it feels like erasure.

At the emotional core of the story lies a conflict between belonging and invisibility. The family sees “girls-only” time as harmless bonding among women. He sees it as a ritual of exclusion, eroding his sense of family connection.

Over time, repeated omission chips away at self-worth. Not being invited to key moments, birthdays, holidays, and vacations builds a quiet but painful message: “You are not part of this circle.”

The sting comes less from what is done, and more from what is not done, the invitations never sent, the phone notifications he never receives.

Thinking deeper about social identity and psychological safety reveals a subtle but powerful dynamic. Often, groups exclude not to hurt, but to preserve a comfort zone. Female-only gatherings may offer the women a space to share experiences or escape certain responsibilities.

Yet when the only male in the immediate family is persistently left out, it signals that he doesn’t belong in the emotional or social realm of the household. To someone in his position, that isn’t minor; it’s profoundly alienating.

Research in social psychology confirms the weight of such exclusion. According to Kipling D. Williams, being ignored or ostracized threatens fundamental human needs: belonging, self-esteem, sense of control, and meaningful existence.

Neuro-imaging studies led by Naomi I. Eisenberger and colleagues show that social rejection triggers activity in the same brain regions as physical pain, meaning emotional exclusion can physically hurt.

Further, when exclusion persists, many respond by withdrawing socially, losing confidence, or retreating entirely, a documented pattern in recent psychological research.

This research sheds light on why his reaction, stepping away from group chats, de-activating social media, isn’t immature. It’s a coping response to repeated social pain.

When you’re constantly left out, silence and distance become a defense mechanism against further hurt. His decision wasn’t about drama or revenge; it was about protecting himself.

If the family truly values him, a bridge can still be built. Real inclusion doesn’t require denying women their own time together. It means occasionally pausing those rituals to ensure everyone feels seen. Families that care recognize that exclusion can wound more than words ever could.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

These commenters agree that excluding the only male turns “girls’ day” into “everyone but OP”

[Reddit User] − NTA. If you’re the only male in the family,

it almost seems as though they’re having a “day without OP” and framing it as a girls day. Not cool.

follow-the-spiders- − NTA maybe if you weren’t the only male in the family, I could see their position

but like you said it feels like you’re personally being excluded.

The vacation really crosses the line. It makes me wonder about your relationship with them.

Have you been close prior to all this and this “girls day” thing just got out of control?

Or have there been conflicts before and they are handling it immaturely?

Yelling at them won’t change their minds, and to be honest I’m not sure what will,

but try to be calm and responsibly explain how they are making you feel and why logically

there is no need to have a girls only vacation (or birthday celebrations) when that just means excluding you.

I’m not totally against them doing their girls days sometimes,

but it doesn’t seem like they are taking you into account at all.

[Reddit User] − NTA I would feel the exact same as you.

It hurts even worse that youre the only male it's not like they are excluding 3-4 other people

it's literally JUST YOU I don't think that's what there understanding.

The once a month "girls" nights are one thing but not inviting you to the birthday party

and excluding you from the vacation are way out of line.

This group says occasional girls’ nights are fine, but constant exclusion and missing celebrations cross a line

jesgolightly − NTA. book a trip solo or with a friend and experience something different.

Don’t wait on them to come around. Take care of yourself.

Wednesday_Atoms − NTA. I was all hyped to tell you that sometimes women

just want to do something that won't appeal to their male family members (like see a Magic Mike movie)

and rather than insist every family get together be gender neutral,

girls' nights are totally fair. But once or twice a month is excessive.

And leaving people out of birthday celebrations is a little too far.

These Redditors emphasize that OP’s family is replacing formerly inclusive events with exclusionary ones, causing real emotional harm

TalShar − NTA. This is all kinds of f**ked up.

1. If you're the only guy that normally gets invited to these events, it's kinda screwed up,

as other users have mentioned, to effectively have "everyone but OP" events.

2. Even if that was all they were doing, maybe it'd be okay,

but they are now displacing "everyone's included" events with these exclusive "OP's Not Invited" events.

They're not just having these events, they're shutting you out of things you were previously included on.

Not cool. 3. I'm sorry to insult your familiy like this, but anyone who responds to a complaint of

"I don't feel like my feelings are being valued" with "You're being immature, suck it up" is a s__t person.

That they didn't only settle for saying that when you demanded an answer

and are instead apparently blowing your phone up over it is even worse,

because they're trying to shame you to lessen the shame that is rightfully theirs.

Not only will they not try to see things your way, they are refusing to leave you

to your peace until you admit that this is your fault.

Sounds like you made the right move, OP. I'm sorry your family is being s__tty.

[Reddit User] − Now my phone is being blown up and I'm being told that I'm immature and I need to grow up.

"I am grown up. That's why I'm removing myself from exposure to this exclusionary teenage b__lshit. Have fun on your vacation" ​ NTA

Kinghyrule90 − I'm going to have to go with NTA.

I know what being excluded from family outings can do to a person emotionally,

and it's not like this has ALWAYS BEEN A THING.

This is something that started recently, and started overwriting previous events.

So instead of doing a seperate thing, they're essentially turning previous events into girls only events,

which is a s__tty thing to do, especially since you are the sole male in the family.

And if the girls only events are splitting up previous family time,

it seems like they're going to drive a serious wedge between you.

This group advises stepping back, setting boundaries, and making clear that exclusion has consequences

Beeb294 − So I removed myself from the family group chat and deactivated my Facebook.

Now my phone is being blown up and I'm being told that I'm immature and I need to grow up.

NTA. I would suggest responding with

"the mature way of handling a group of people who consistently exclude you is to step back from them.

I feel consistently excluded, especially now that you have told me I'm not welcome on the family vacation,

and that I am the only person in the family who isn't welcome. So I am taking a step back.

If you harass and insult me for it, I will take that to mean I am not wanted in this family and step back further.

Respect my boundaries on this issue."

AITA-throwaways − Nta - seeing a movie is one thing. Celebrating someone’s birthday is another.

I would just return the gift if I was in your situation. Don’t invite me to your birthday? You don’t deserve my gift.

AJ-in-Canada − INFO. Do the women have male spouses?

Edit-I don't know how to do the cross out thing but I read at the very bottom that they're all single.

You're NTA and I don't know why they're excluding you. I would be hurt too.

These commenters share how gender-based exclusion damages relationships and note OP’s feelings are valid

SasquatchNW − NTA I f__king hate family gatherings because of how many of the f**kers there are

but it sounds like you genuinely want to engage and thats cools.

That they can't empathise and theyre your f__king mom is ridiculous, like let a dude wear a dress for a day, f__k.

[Reddit User] − Nta. Girl's day and outings are fun and all,

but the whole idea is to have fun without the guys - and let the guys have fun amongst themselves as well.

That way it benefits both genders. That's not what's happening here.

Zombombaby − NTA- my dad and grandpa used to do that with my brother ALL THE TIME growing up.

My brother got to travel the world, do paintball sessions and basically do a bunch of 'boys trips' regularly.

My dad took my sister and I to a hockey game ONCE. It sucks to feel left out just because of your gender.

I no longer speak to my dad and he doesn't seem to notice.

Do you think stepping back was the right move, or should he have tried harder to fix the rift before walking away? And where’s the line between bonding and exclusion? Share your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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