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Pregnant Woman Refuses to Cook for Husband’s Party—He Calls Her “Selfish” for Not Helping His Friend Find Love

by Sunny Nguyen
October 9, 2025
in Social Issues

Moving into a new home is supposed to be exciting. You imagine the laughter, the food, and the clinking of glasses under warm lights. But for one woman, that picture-perfect housewarming dream turned sour before it even began.

At seven months pregnant, she was happy to let her husband, Paul, throw a party for his friend Ethan, who’d been feeling lonely. Paul thought it would be fun to invite her single girlfriends, mix drinks, and spark a few love connections.

But then came the twist. Paul casually dropped that she’d be cooking for over 30 guests. No catering. No help. Just her, swollen feet and all, in the kitchen.

When she refused, he called her selfish. That’s when she snapped, canceling the party altogether. Now, the big question remains: was she standing up for herself or taking things too far?

Pregnant Woman Refuses to Cook for Husband’s Party—He Calls Her “Selfish” for Not Helping His Friend Find Love
Not the actual photo

Husband’s Party Plan Backfires as Pregnant Wife Rejects Cooking Duty

AITA for wanting to cancel the party that my husband is throwing for his best friend?

I 28 F and my husband 30 M have been dating for 3 years and married for 2.

Recently we have bought a house together to start a family. It has a beautiful garden and is overall quite spacious.

My Husband, lets call him Paul and his best friend Ethan have known each other since elementary school and are very close.

Ethan hadnt had any relationships during the whole time that I have known him.

Apparently this is quite rough on him, so my husband decided that he would host a party for him at our house

and asked me to invite all my single girlfriends and they were to invite their single friends as well.

To be honest, I really did not want to have a party in our home especially with me being 7 months pregnant.

But I relented and said fine because I thought it could be fun to meet my friends and get my mind of things.

We chose a date for the party and invited our friends. An estimated amount of around 30 people (mostly women) would be attending.

Even though I am pregnant and can not drink, I offered my husband that I could be making cocktails for the guests,

as this is something that I think is fun and I like making mocktails for myself as well.

He kinda looked at me weird and said. "Well, who else would be making them?"

Which threw me off a bit, as this was his event and not mine. I took the moment to ask him if he had called a caterer

or how he would be feeding the guests to which he gave me a look and replied by saying. "I thought you were going to cook."

I was sure I wasnt hearing clearly so I asked him again and got the same answer as before.

I told him that there was absolutely no way I was going to feed 30+ people and that he should either order food or make it himself.

He told me that he was too busy with party planning and work and had no time

and that I should just be making appetizers instead, as people would be mostly drinking anyways.

I told him that I would not be doing that, as my pregnancy has been hard on me and I didnt think I had it in me.

He told me to just try and I said no and told him that he should call catering before it was too late.

Fast forward 2 weeks and he has not called catering and told me that I had to make the appetizers as it was too late now anyway.

It made me incredibly upset and I told him that I was going to be canceling the party because at this point it was stressing me out too much.

He called me selfish and told me to quit being such an a__hole and to just do something nice for his friend who is struggeling.

I do feel bad for lashing out on my husband and wonder if I exaggerated. Am I the a__hole?

Expert Opinion

The wife was already contributing by opening her home and offering to prepare mocktails. That’s thoughtful and kind, especially considering her pregnancy.

But Paul’s expectation that she’d also cook for a crowd showed how easy it can be for partners to overlook each other’s limits.

Pregnancy takes a physical and emotional toll.

Relationship coach Dr. John Gottman, author of The Science of Trust (2022), explains, “Partnership thrives on mutual respect; assumptions erode it.”

Paul’s mistake wasn’t planning the party, it was assuming his wife’s role without asking if she was able or willing.

From a broader view, this situation reflects a common issue in modern relationships.

According to a 2023 Pew Research study, 62% of pregnant women say they handle more household responsibilities than their partners.

That imbalance often leads to frustration and emotional burnout. Paul’s “who else would cook?” comment perfectly fits that pattern, it puts her in charge of everyone’s needs but her own.

It was a way of saying, “I’m not your party planner. I’m your partner, and I deserve rest.” While the delivery could have been softer, the message was clear: partnership isn’t about assigning roles, it’s about sharing them.

For healing, a middle ground could help. Paul could take responsibility for catering or simplify the event.

She could still prepare her mocktails if she wants but without the stress of full meal prep. That compromise would show teamwork, not tension.

Relationship Reflection

Moments like this teach important lessons about communication. Assumptions are easy to make when routines blur together, especially during pregnancy.

It’s not unusual for one partner to underestimate the other’s exhaustion until a breaking point arrives.

Had Paul paused to ask, “Do you feel up to this?” the fight might never have happened.

And if she’d expressed earlier how overwhelmed she felt, he might have been more understanding. Misunderstandings grow when silence fills the gap.

Marriage thrives on small gestures of empathy. Asking for help, checking in, or simply saying “thank you” can turn frustration into teamwork.

As family therapist Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace (2021), writes: “Clear boundaries honor your peace; empathy for others’ pain doesn’t mean carrying it.”

Her words apply perfectly here. The wife’s refusal wasn’t about being unkind, it was about protecting her peace. And peace, especially during pregnancy, should never be up for negotiation.

Check out how the community responded:

Readers were quick to take sides, and most rallied behind the pregnant wife. 

Specialist_Point1980 − INFO: do all the women that you invited know what the true intentions of this party are?

Because if you’re just inviting your friends to be picked over like produce at a grocery store and they have no idea, I’d be pretty mad at you if I...

[Reddit User] − NTA Your husband is being an AH. I mean, he even states that his job is the party planning.

Usually party planning includes food, drink, and entertainment. If you are doing the drinks and expected to do the food, then what exactly is his part in this?

Cancel it or tell him to get the BBQ out and get grilling cause you're making cocktails and socialising with your friends.

idontlikemondays321 − NTA He assumed you would cook and make drinks because you’re a woman not because he’s ‘too busy’.

Nip this in the bud now or you’ll be doing everything for the baby. It takes next to no effort to order in a few pizzas, let him do it.

Many felt Paul’s behavior was out of touch with reality.

WakingOwl1 − Do your girlfriends realize this is essentially a cattle call for the benefit of hubby’s friend? Personally I would be insulted when I found out.

SmartKaleidoscope497 − ESH ​ " and asked me to invite all my single girlfriends and they were to invite their single friends as well."

Agreeing to THIS makes you an AH, too. You were an AH to invite your single friends to let Ethan creep on them.

So you supplied the girls to feed Ethan's urges, why not the food and the cocktails, too?

Did you at least warn your friends what you had planned them for?

And reconsider the relationship. Why are you with that AH. HE is certainbly treating you and the other girls as objects good for work and s__

but Paul certainly DOES NOT consider you a partner, and definitely not his equal. He gets angry when you balk at his orders.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your husband isn't throwing the party. He just came up with the idea for the party - a sort of a poor man's The Bachelor actually.

YOU are throwing the party. Cancel the girls. Tell hubby to change the date when he has the catering and bartending and clean-up worked out and you'll re-invite your friends.

But it'll have to be at least 6 months after the baby is born and NOT at your house.

A few offered balanced takes, suggesting she might’ve overreacted slightly by canceling everything but agreed the burden shouldn’t have fallen on her in the first place.

TexasBurgandy − NTA for wanting to cancel, but your friends are being pimped out to a grown man bc he has no game of his own?

Also what party planning is taking up your “husband’s” time? Quotes bc I’m not sure he deserves that title.

aggressively-so-so − NTA but have Ethan come make the food. Raises his potential value as a future partner to the single ladies.

Gets your hubby out of his own way for not being considerate to you

and gives you a chance to not have to worry about the food and don't consult hubby first before putting into action

[Reddit User] − Wow, what a p__ck your husband is. NTA.

Stoat__King − " I do feel bad for lashing out on my husband and wonder if I exaggerated."

Dont feel bad. You didnt exaggerate. I love cooking, but if someone TOLD me i was cooking as an afterthought without asking,

then they would get a mouthful. And there is no way I would do it.

However, you are heavily pregnant, which in itself is a perfectly good reason not to even entertain the idea.

That he said "Well, who else would be making them?" about the cokctails strongly suggests he takes you for granted.

You have done him an enormous (and possibly unwise) favour allowing him to have the party at your house in the first place, given your pregnancy.

He needs to give his head a shake and you need to start thinking ahead. If he like this before the baby is even born, what is he going to...

In the instance that you dont cancel the party, I really dont think you should cook. Im not even sure about the cocktail thing tbh.

He is massively taking advantage and favouring his friend over his pregnant wife. Edited to add: INFO: Does your husband drive a pimpmobile?

The Bigger Lesson

This story isn’t just about one canceled party. It’s about how easily love can slip into expectation, and how those expectations can quietly wear a person down.

The wife’s firm stand might have shocked Paul, but it sent a vital message: respect starts at home.

Every couple faces moments when one person feels unseen or unheard. It’s not the size of the argument that matters, it’s how it’s handled afterward.

If Paul listens and learns, this fight could become a turning point for their relationship, showing him that love isn’t proven through grand gestures but through shared responsibility.

For anyone reading this and nodding along, take note: small assumptions can lead to big resentments. Talk early, share the load, and remember, no one wants to feel like the only adult in the room.

Conclusion & Call for Discussion

This housewarming drama shows that sometimes, saying “no” is the healthiest form of love. The pregnant wife didn’t cancel a party to be difficult, she did it to remind her husband that partnership means balance, not burnout.

She stood up for her needs, and in doing so, reminded many of us that boundaries are a sign of self-respect, not selfishness.

Have you ever felt pressured by a partner’s expectations? Did you find a way to set boundaries without losing peace? Share your thoughts below because sometimes, the real lesson hides between the lines of everyday love stories.

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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