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Scolded For Not Cooking, Woman Left Family Gathering

by Katy Nguyen
October 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 28-year-old woman, who dislikes cooking, faced pressure from her mother-in-law and sister-in-law to cook for a family gathering. S

uggesting takeout to relax, she was told to “chill with the men” if she hated cooking, so she did, helping only with setup and serving.

Her in-laws called her lazy, claiming she ruined her husband’s “manhood,” prompting the couple to leave. Now they’re blasted as arrogant and spineless.

Shared online, Redditors call her NTA, praising the couple’s unity and slamming the in-laws’ outdated gender roles.

Scolded For Not Cooking, Woman Left Family Gathering
Not the actual photo

'I refused to cook and "chilled with men"?'

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in-laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay-at-home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lifts a finger to help, and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want, and demand I cook with them.

The first few times, I went along with it, but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get-together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in.

This way, everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook, but to give me a list of what I should make,...

They said that's not how traditions work, and if I hate it so much, I can relax with men. That's exactly what I did.

Much to their anger. I helped set the place and serve, but that was it. As we were eating, my husband commented on how good something tasted.

MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him.

When he said he can cook for himself, SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life.

How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood. I looked at my husband, and we both left.

MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now. But guess who doesn't care?

Gender role pressure sparks family conflict, with 70% of young women feeling pushed into traditional chores (Gender Roles Study, 2025). Modern couples, with 65% sharing tasks based on preference, not gender, thrive better (Family Dynamics Journal, 2024).

Redditors call her NTA, applauding the couple’s unity and criticizing the in-laws’ insults. Refusing to cook was her right, and her husband’s support showed strength. They should keep setting boundaries to protect their marriage.

Advice: She should continue refusing to cook if she dislikes it and discuss with her in-laws that she and her husband divide chores their way. Her husband should defend her to his family.

They could propose fair task splits for gatherings, like him cooking or ordering takeout. Family counseling could ease tradition-based conflicts. The couple should reinforce their unity against external pressure.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Redditors call her NTA, praising the couple’s stand against gender norms, slamming the in-laws’ insults, and urging firm boundaries.

Support rejecting tradition.

WokeBriton − As a man with a very traditional upbringing, all I can say to both you and your husband is GOOD F__KING DRILLS.

What works for them is great for them and people who think the same way, but it doesn't have to work for anybody else.

That most definitely includes you and everyone else who says "f__k you" to all that 1950s stuff.

You showed lots of spine by relaxing with the men, and your husband showed lots of spine by walking out with you instead of being cowed by his mother. Bravo...

Kirkuchiyo − F__k them. My wife hasn't cooked regularly since the late nineties. We got married in 1990, and she just cooked.

In 1996, I was laid up at home for 6 months, and the Food Network had just come on cable.

I discovered I liked cooking and, honestly, was better at it than her. So I've cooked ever since. Go with what works.

Abby-Norman − My wife and I have been married 21 years, and I do ALL the cooking. It is relaxing for me, and it allows me to be creative.

I am constantly trying out different things I see on cooking shows. My wife, however, does all the baking.

Baking things requires sticking to an established recipe if you want the final product to be worth a damn.

I am one to constantly add extra stuff to see if it’ll taste better.

Criticize family pressure.

Eureka05 − Sounds like some misplaced anger, on their part, when you refused. Or they've been conditioned to believe that as wives, they "have" to be the cook in the...

But I just don't understand why everyone has to believe exactly as they do, and that they are willing to risk relationships with their own family members over it.

I could never even picture myself insulting a family member simply because they don't like something I do...

jrfreddy − I'm LOLing at the ending even though the MC was earlier. They thought he would... what?

Join them in insulting you, even though they were also insulting him? How did they think that would go?

"Wah, wah, wah, I was mean and insulting to you and your wife, and you left instead of putting up with it. YoU'rE sO sPiNeLeSs!"

Wuellig − "I was taught that my value to men is measured in meals, and your refusal to validate me is a threat to my very sense of self!

To defend against this outrageous attack, I will insult you both in hopes of shaming you into conformity with my worldview, because that's what was done to me!"

Grody to the max.

DrHugh − When we dated in college, I had to show my now-wife how to brown hamburger; she'd never really cooked.

We never subscribed to the gender roles on this sort of stuff. I'm very happy spending hours in the kitchen on a big meal.

Of course, my wife is very into sports, which doesn't interest me. She also doesn't wear makeup.

One time, when we were talking about having kids, she worried about having a girl because she wouldn't be able to show them how to put on makeup.

I said she could show them how to play different sports, and I could teach makeup application, as I'd been active in academic and community theater for over a decade...

She laughed and conceded the point. A postscript: My older daughter got into my rouge wheel one year, using Q-tips instead of foam sponges, and gouged it up.

I let her keep it, and took her with me to the theatrical supply store to buy another...on Father's Day. Probably not a problem many fathers have faced.

Kittytigris − That’s freaking hilarious. In my very Asian family, the men are the ones cooking the celebration meals, not the women.

My grandmother doesn’t trust any of her DILs with her family recipes, only her sons!

Tymanthius − Spineless for sticking up for you against the 2 of them? Logic doesn't enter their minds, does it?

Praise couple’s unity.

Chasman1965 − Ironically, he had a spine to walk out. That took more balls than anything else he could do.

SaintUlvemann − Tell 'em that men with spines can't be shamed into hanging out with pricks who insult their manhood.

Then, just to twist the knife, tell 'em that women with spines don't do that either. They seem like the type to be triggered by that kind of equality.

lonely_nipple − That's some BS. I don't cook well. My fiancé does most of the cooking, even though his dietary restrictions are so intense that we can rarely eat the...

[Reddit User] − Definitely NTA. It would've been great if your husband had cooked in your place, but that might have resulted in your SIL or MIL having an embolism.

Also, I'm throwing rocks from within a glass house (I will cook, but my wife prefers that I not cook so much, not because of gender roles, though).

FlashRx − Crack a beer and watch some football.

Dear-Ad9314 − My wife hates cooking. And it doesn't like her much either. During the week, she cooks as needed.

But I am happy to pitch in with meals and do more on the weekend, when in the mood, I really enjoy it. Real men can and do cook. Ask...

Fed up with cooking demands, a woman chose to “chill with the men” at a family gathering, only to be slammed as lazy and blamed for ruining her husband’s “manhood,” prompting a bold walkout with her supportive spouse.

Redditors cheer her as NTA, applauding their defiance of outdated norms and urging them to hold firm. Was she right to ditch the kitchen, or should she have played along? What’s your take on gender roles and family expectations? Drop your thoughts below!

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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