She Refused Men Who Lied About Their Height, But Was That Fair?

A woman’s dating profile turned into a trust test when her dates couldn’t tell the truth about their height.

Meet a 5′8″ (173 cm) woman who’s upfront about her height. She says so on her profile, she means it and she expects the same honesty from anyone she meets.

When a man shows up significantly shorter than his “listed” height, or offers an absurd apology about metric conversion, she takes it as a deal-breaker. Not because of height, she insists, but because the first lie reveals bigger trust issues.

Now, read the full story:

My reaction: I felt her frustration. It’s one thing to feel misled, it’s another when the mis-statement is so obvious it hints at willful deceit. I appreciated that she wasn’t saying “only tall guys”, she showed prior long-term relationships with shorter men.

That strengthens her case: this is really about truth, not a height fetish.

Still, I sensed the weight of the conflict: trust vs. expectations, honesty vs. presentation, dating reality vs. profile fantasy. And when someone repeatedly sees the same pattern: lying about a measurable fact, they can reasonably stop believing in the rest.

Which brings us to what the experts say about lying, trust, and relationships.

The core issue here is trust. A physical dimension such as height is measurable and matters less than the underlying character trait: honesty.

According to psychology research, lies undermine intimacy because they destroy the belief that someone is dependable and truthful. “Lies are damaging to relationships because they block intimacy. Lies are considered harmful because they destroy trust – the bedrock of society -the belief that others are dependable and intend no harm.” 
In the world of online dating, deception is far more common than we like to believe. According to one study, nearly half of digital daters misrepresent their height. And a recent survey found 70 % of men admitted to lying about some part of their profile — including height.

So yes: her observation of widespread height-lying is sadly backed by evidence.

Why do people lie about height?

Height slips into the category of “self-presentation enhancement.” Being taller may be seen as more socially desirable, especially on dating platforms. One expert commentary notes that l ies in online dating “are driven by a desire to appear more attractive.”

When a liar chooses something as verifiable as height and still decides to misrepresent it, they send a signal: I’m willing to fudge the facts. And if someone lies about one thing, you might reasonably expect they’ll lie about other things too.

Is she unreasonable for refusing someone who lies about height?

Not at all. Given the psychology and dating-app landscape, her rule is a boundary around integrity rather than height. She’s signalling: I will credit you with honesty and we’ll build onward. If I catch you in a lie before a second date, why would I invest further?

Experts suggest that trust builds over small decisions. One article says: “People who constantly lie … will leave others thinking that anything you tell them is potentially a lie.”  If you take the position that honesty matters from the first date, you are simply aligning your actions with your values.

Actionable insights:

• Make your expectations clear. OP does this by stating her own height in her profile and clarifying she’s okay with shorter men—so the rule is honest representation, not height.

• Screen early. A few minutes of conversation can reveal whether someone is open about facts or trying to spin them.

• Focus on consistency. If someone fudges one measurable item, treat that as data not fiction.

• Reframe the deal-breaker. It’s not the height. It’s the lying. That subtle shift makes the boundary more about trust than about preference.

• Practice empathy but stay firm. Ask questions: Why did you list a different height? It may reveal insecurity but still means the trust budget has dropped.

• Know your non-negotiables. For OP, honesty from the start is non-negotiable. That’s fine.

Check out how the community responded:

Some commenters side with OP, saying lying is the real issue—not height.

Other users pointed to the broader phenomenon of dating-app deception, and how this case reflects a larger truth.

A few simply laughed at the absurdity of the height-fib culture and said the lying itself says more.

So, was OP the [the jerk] for refusing men who lie about their height? Not in my book. Her boundary is about authenticity, not measurement.

Dating is messy. We bring our insecurities, desire to impress, and sometimes cheat the facts a little. But when someone exaggerates something so obvious — like height — it signals a willingness to distort.

Where do you draw your line? Would you walk away from someone after one obvious, small lie? Or do you give them grace, hoping they’ll get honest later?