Some people just can’t take a hint. One Redditor found herself stuck in an awkward situation when a shop manager wouldn’t stop pushing a loyalty card, even after multiple polite refusals.
Things got even worse when the manager suggested she refer her estranged mother for a Mother’s Day promotion, despite knowing the woman had been emotionally abusive for years.
Fed up, the Redditor dropped a bombshell: her mother had passed away. The manager immediately shut up, rang up the cardigan, and sent her on her way. Was this petty revenge, or did the manager deserve to be shut down in such a harsh way? Read on to see how this uncomfortable interaction played out.
A woman tells a shop manager her mother is dead to avoid further sales pressure and leave
In the quiet ache of emotional invisibility, many people carry wounds that don’t show at first glance. That hidden pain becomes especially raw when someone with a toxic parent is confronted with gestures of love and family assumptions, gestures that remind them of how much they were denied.
In this story, the OP (28 f) wasn’t simply tired of being asked to sign up for a loyalty card. She was suddenly confronted with a well‑intentioned but insensitive prompt: talk about your mum. The shop manager’s repeated suggestions about Mother’s Day rewards landed like cutting salt on a wound.
For someone who has experienced a narcissistic and abusive mother and has already taken the step of no‑contact, the routine promotion triggered deep hurt. Rather than politely continue to decline and endure rising frustration and anxiety, she chose to say her mother was dead, to end the interaction and regain her dignity in that brief moment.
Psychologically, the OP’s reaction reflects what experts describe as long‑term consequences of narcissistic parenting and maternal neglect. For instance, research by Healthline shows children of narcissistic parents often experience low self‑esteem, chronic self‑doubt, difficulty setting boundaries, and patterns of people‑pleasing or avoidance.
And in the case of maternal abandonment or neglect, the emotional baggage often includes shame, anger, feelings of unworthiness, and trust issues that persist into adulthood. These sources confirm the OP’s context isn’t just unusual, it’s significantly emotionally loaded.
By telling the manager her mother was dead, the OP wasn’t simply lying for convenience. She was defending her emotional boundary. She was saying: Please leave me alone with this subject that causes pain.
Experts argue that healing from a toxic parent means learning to affirm your own identity and rights.
As noted in the “Mending the Mother Wound” article, attachment trauma from a deficient mother relationship leads to beliefs like “I’m unworthy” or “I didn’t matter,” and healing involves setting boundaries, practicing self‑care, and reclaiming the narrative of your own life. In the OP’s moment of defiance, she set a boundary. She chose self‑preservation over social courtesy.
If we apply that insight back to her situation, her action, though socially awkward, was rooted in a rational emotional response. She attempted polite refusals; when those were ignored, she used a definitive statement to stop the interaction.
It can be seen as an act of self‑protection. For someone whose foundational relationship was abusive and invalidating, that instinct is valid.
In closing, the OP’s maneuver reminds us that sometimes what appears as an overreaction is actually the manifestation of past wounds being triggered. We aren’t judging it, just acknowledging that human behavior often comes from deeper layers.
Perhaps if the manager had recognized the weight of those unspoken emotions, the exchange would have ended differently. For now, though, the OP defended her peace and that stands.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
This group supported the OP’s decision to lie about their mother
These commenters emphasized that the associate’s relentless upselling after being told “no” was inappropriate and deserved a firm response
This group sympathized with the OP’s frustration with the intrusive sales tactics and shared similar experiences of being badgered with personal questions
These commenters expressed that, while they understood the pressures of sales quotas
This commenter emphasized that aggressive sales tactics can lead to unintended emotional responses
Was the woman wrong for lying about her mother to shut down a persistent sales pitch? Should the woman have handled the situation differently, or did she do what was best for her in the moment? Share your thoughts below!
