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Sister Takes Away Her Depression Dog After Finding It Severely Overweight and Neglected

by Annie Nguyen
July 23, 2026
in Social Issues

A family disagreement over a “depression dog” raises questions about where support ends and responsibility begins.

According to this Redditor, her teenage sister received a dog as part of her recovery from depression. The arrangement initially worked well, with help from family and a supportive neighbor. But later, the dog gained a dangerous amount of weight, and the sister dismissed concerns despite veterinary advice.

After discovering that follow-up appointments had not happened, the Redditor decided the dog needed a healthier environment and brought him to live with her. While she believes she acted to protect the animal, she worries that taking away the dog may harm her sister emotionally.

A sister takes away her sibling’s emotional support dog after discovering the pet’s health is being neglected

Sister Takes Away Her Depression Dog After Finding It Severely Overweight and Neglected
not the actual photo

'AITA for taking my sister’s ’depression dog’ away from her?'

About two years ago, my parents split and this really affected my sister (17F), who about the same time was diagnosed with depression.

I (24F) being a uni student who lives away from home, couldn’t be there for her all the time,

and with my parents divorced, it was really hard for her to find a stable place to call home.

So I talked with my Mum (who she chose to live with) about getting my sister a dog, in hopes to help her with recovery.

We both knew it would be challenging as my Mum is a part time nurse so she wouldn’t be able to help with taking care of the dog as much...

After a bunch of talking, we eventually got my sister a year old poodle, and it seemed to be great for her.

She was getting out the house more and really taking care of herself, and with some help of the most lovely neighbour in the world, the dog was doing great...

A year later, during the semester break, I went back home for a two week visit and in all honesty,

the first thing I noticed was that the dog was severely overweight.

I asked about it and my sister brushed it off saying “he’s just older now”.

Regardless, I took the dog to the vet where I was told he would need to be put on a diet and exercise more frequently.

I told this to my sister who was very angry I did this behind her back (in hindsight I should have spoke to her about this) but said she would...

And during the two weeks it looked like she was doing this. I then went back to uni.

When the uni year ended, I went back and dog still looked like a large spherical ball of poodle.

I asked my sister about it and she said she had done everything the vet asked.

I went back to the vet who told me my sister had not been back for follow-ups.

After this I again spoke to my sister about it where she said “it’s my dog, why do you care?”.

This really got to me and so I took the dog to live with me and my Dad, where I have been for the last month or so.

Since then, he’s back on track for his weight loss journey and looks much healthier.

Over this period, my sister has been nonstop about getting the dog back - calling me 24/7,

and getting into yelling matches in person and I really don’t know what to do.

I understand that this dog has been great for her mental and physical wellbeing but I feel like her actions

(or lack of) is just abusive to the pup.

But at the same time I feel like I’m hurting my sister by taking the thing that has helped her so much over the last couple years. AITA?

Edit: All three of us discussed it over at the time and she was really into the idea of a dog.

We all talked about responsibility and managed to get the neighbour involved who took care of him on days when my sister or mother couldn’t,

and also took care of his grooming once every 6 or so weeks.

Edit 2: My sister had been in and out of therapy for the last 3 years to varying degrees of success,

it was only at a point where she was in recovery that the therapist suggested the idea of a dog.

Finance and transportation are not an issue for anyone, the vet is a 10 minute walk from my Mum’s house

(and both my Mum and sister can drive) and the dog has insurance.

Sometimes the hardest decisions come when two forms of care appear to conflict. A person can love someone deeply while still believing that protecting another vulnerable being is necessary.

That tension is what makes this situation difficult: the sister’s emotional recovery and the dog’s physical wellbeing are both real concerns, and neither can simply be ignored.

In this situation, the original poster was not just taking away a pet. She was intervening in a relationship that had become emotionally important to her sister. The dog represented comfort, routine, and stability during one of the most painful periods of her sister’s life.

At the same time, OP saw a living animal whose health was declining and felt responsible because she had helped bring that dog into the family. Her frustration came from feeling that her sister was not following through on the responsibility that came with the emotional support she received.

Many people may focus only on the fact that the dog helped the teenager cope with depression and argue that removing it could cause emotional harm. However, another perspective is that support tools only work when they come with responsibility.

A pet can provide companionship and motivation, but it is not a replacement for ongoing care, boundaries, and daily commitment. The sister may not have viewed the weight gain as seriously because she was focused on the emotional connection with the dog rather than the medical consequences.

Meanwhile, OP saw the situation through the eyes of someone responsible for preventing harm. Both perspectives come from concern, but they prioritize different needs.

Veterinarian and animal welfare professionals often emphasize that obesity in pets is not simply a cosmetic issue but a health condition that can shorten lifespan and reduce quality of life.

The Association for Pet Obesity Prevention explains that excess weight can contribute to conditions such as joint problems, reduced mobility, and other chronic health issues, making proper diet and exercise essential parts of responsible ownership.

Mental health experts also recognize that animals can provide meaningful emotional benefits, including companionship, routine, and a sense of purpose, but they are most beneficial when the caregiver is able to meet the animal’s needs.

This insight highlights the central conflict. The dog may have genuinely helped the sister survive a difficult chapter, but that does not mean the dog’s welfare should be sacrificed to preserve that role.

At the same time, removing the dog permanently without addressing the emotional impact could deepen the sister’s feelings of loss or failure. The goal should not be punishment; it should be finding a way for both the person and the animal to be cared for.

A healthier solution may involve creating a structured plan rather than making the situation a battle over ownership. The sister could work toward regaining responsibility through consistent visits, feeding routines, exercise, and veterinary follow-ups while rebuilding trust.

She needs accountability, but she also needs to understand that one mistake does not define her ability to care. The dog helped her through a difficult time, and now the family’s responsibility is to help both of them move forward safely.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters focused on the dog’s welfare and believed proper care should come before emotional attachment

ThePrimaryClone − NTA, the dog needed to be properly taken care of. Good for you for stepping up.

Sea-Pension4997 − NTA a pet is not a toy; her actions are abusive to the dog, at which point it doesn’t

matter how beneficial he has been to her because she hasn’t extended the same courtesy to him…good on

you for actually caring about the dog

NoHorseNoMustache − Honestly YTA for getting a living being for a person with depression to take care of

and only really making sure it was treated right when you're on semester breaks from school. A dog isn't a

thing you get to help someone, it's a living being that needs to be taken care of correctly.

I'm surprised the worst that happened is the dog is overweight, depressed people often just let their pets go

to the bathroom wherever they want because they don't have the mental energy to clean up after them.

These Redditors felt OP should have involved the sister more in the dog’s care and vet decisions

Angel89411 − ESH. Your sister is old enough to take care of the dog but you never involved her in the care of

the dog. You just took the dog to the vet and said "vet said this". Again though, she's old enough to

understand "vet said this" and that the dog needs it.

I suggest bringing sister along to the vet and having the vet explain that the dog being overweight causes

them extreme pain on their joints and can cause other health issues that can greatly shorten their life span

and quality of life. ETA- everyone is determined to place full blame on a kid who had nothing to do with

aquiring the dog.

No one even seems to question Mom not stepping in to help. No one is putting any blame on the *adults*

who made the decision and dropped this dog into this situation. OP - "should we get sister a dog? " Mom - "I

can't take care of a dog" OP - "I also won't be there to take care of the dog.

We should not get a child, especially one with depression, a dog when we can't take care of the dog. " See

how easily this whole thing could be avoided?

LiveKindly01 − ESH 1. You and your mom did this without (seemingly) even involving sister in the decision to

get the dog in the first place 2. Your mom is a part time nurse. This leaves the other half of a work week open

for her to participate in caring for the dog. Why was she brushed off as not part of htis at all?

3. You didn't equip your sister with knowledge on how to feed/exercise the dog. Was there an initial 'welcome

to pet ownership' vet visit where SISTER learns what and how much to feed? (usually vet or whoever you got

dog from does an intro to new owners) 4 - You came home and whisked away the dog to the vet without

including sister.

Vet could have talked to her about what and how often the dog is fed and included her in the information.

Now it's just 'vet said you're doing it wrong' 5 - Sister is old enough to care for a dog but perhaps she needs

to be coached by someone other than you about the dog's care. Bring her to the vet with you.

And honestly, of course she didn't bring hte dog to the vet. With what money? mom works part time and

supports them both. ..I don't know many 17 year olds with depression who can be on top of driving to, and

paying for, vet visits.

EleanorKalatheraine − YTA It sounds like you didn't involve your sister when you got the dog in the first

place? You're the one who placed the dog with a caretaker who was depressed and not guaranteed to be

able to commit to this. A dog isn't a low maintenance pet.

Also, the fact that you went to the vet without telling her isn't an "oops, I forgot to mention. " It's

confirmation you don't respect your sister or expect her to be responsible.

This group criticized the decision to give a depressed teenager a dog without ensuring she could handle the responsibility

liosistaken − I can't believe you got her a dog without even asking her if she wanted one or could take care of

it. Are you stupid? You're lucky she took care of it at all! Poor dog. There is no right solution here, because

you shouldn't have done this in the first place!

Now you return HER dog, get your mom to help out with the diet (it's her responsibility after all, you two

decided on getting the dog) and hope your sister doesn't plunge right back into depression again. YTA and

so is your mom.

Mister_Silk − YTA from start to finish. Depressed people can barely take care of themselves much less

another living creature. The only thing you did right was taking the dog to a healthier situation because it

never should have been given to that owner in the first place.

A dog meant to help a teenager through a difficult chapter became the center of a painful family disagreement.

The older sister wanted to protect the animal, while the younger sister feared losing her emotional support system.

Was taking the dog away the right decision, or should the family have found a way to support both the pet and the teenager? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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