Teen Confronts Abusive Dad About Drowning Threat, Gets Called ‘Sensitive’ and ‘Spoiled’

When a 17-year-old Redditor finally explained why she avoids her father in the pool, she hoped for understanding.

Instead, she was met with a brutal wave of gaslighting.

The incident she referenced happened six years ago: her father, who has a history of severe physical abuse, threatened to hold her underwater for a minute. The threat was terrifyingly real, especially since the teen had witnessed a friend drown.

Now, when she uses this trauma to explain her distance, her father’s response is chillingly predictable.

Now, read the full story:

This is heartbreaking, terrifying, and sadly, textbook abuse. The OP’s reaction to avoid her father in the water is not “sensitive” or “emotional.” It is a completely rational, trauma-informed response to a credible threat of violence from a proven abuser.

Her father’s threat of drowning was a specific form of psychological terrorism, especially given her history with witnessing a drowning. The fact that he was physically abusive—choking her, throwing her, and hitting her—means every threat he makes carries the weight of past violence.

The father’s response when confronted is equally predictable. He immediately attacked her character to avoid accountability.

The OP’s father is deploying classic gaslighting tactics. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser attempts to make the victim doubt their own memory, perception, or sanity.

When the father calls her “sensitive” or a “baby,” he is attempting to minimize his violent actions and shift the blame back onto the victim.

As licensed clinical social worker Katie Lear explains, “Minimization is a common tactic used by abusers to deny the impact of their actions. By calling the victim ‘too emotional,’ they invalidate the victim’s feelings and avoid taking responsibility for the harm they caused.” [Source: Healthline/Medical News Today on Gaslighting Tactics]

The OP’s “knee-jerk” reaction to stay away from him in water is likely a symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Her brain is correctly identifying him as a threat, and the water is a trigger associated with his specific threat of drowning.

It is crucial for the OP to understand that her feelings are valid. She is not alone in experiencing this type of violence. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, approximately 600,000 children are confirmed victims of abuse and neglect annually in the US, highlighting that abuse is a widespread societal problem, not a personal failing. 

The OP is doing the right thing by focusing on her escape plan: getting a job, securing her finances, and moving out. Physical distance is the only way to escape the cycle of violence and gaslighting.

Check out how the community responded:

The entire community immediately validated the OP’s fear and condemned the father’s abusive history and current gaslighting tactics.

Users pointed out that given the father’s history of violence, the threat of drowning was not a joke but a serious danger.

The community strongly encouraged the OP to maintain distance and prioritize her safety and escape plan.

The OP is not sensitive; she is surviving. Her father’s attempt to minimize his violence by calling her names is a desperate attempt to maintain control. She has every right to protect herself, and avoiding him in the pool is a smart, necessary boundary.

The focus now must be on her plan to gain financial independence and move out.

What advice would you give the OP about securing her finances before she turns 18?