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The Baby Talk Was So Bad, This Woman Had to Snap to Save Her Sanity

by Charles Butler
October 28, 2025
in Social Issues

We all have that friend whose life takes a sharp turn, shifting the entire dynamic of the relationship. Usually, that shift happens when a baby is on the way, turning every conversation into an ultrasound report.

For this childfree Redditor, the constant, one-sided talk became too much, especially after a rough week that ended in a difficult breakup. Her friend, “Kayla,” couldn’t stop talking about her pregnancy, leading to a massive blowout.

The question remains: When a friend’s new identity eclipses the friendship itself, who is really the [bad guy]?

Now, read the full story:

The Baby Talk Was So Bad, This Woman Had to Snap to Save Her Sanity
Not the actual photo

AITA for telling my friend that I don't care about her pregnancy that much?

"Kayla" (f26) and I (f25) have been friends for around ten years or so. We are good friends, we just have been drafting away recently because our lives are too...

She got married and I am happy for her because that's something she wanted, her husband also is a good man and that's nice.

I was her bridesmaid and celebrated her even though I'm not a big wedding person because obviously that was about supporting a friend and not about me.

Now she's pregnant (around five months) and I'm also happy for her, she's very excited to be a mom.

I'm not a person who likes kids or wants them to myself, however I can be happy for the people around me who want them.

I'm not one of those bitter childfree people who hate kids/ parents. Her family lives a few hours away so she often asks me to go with her to appointments...

I am happy to help her out and I don't mind it. I also am happy to know that everything's ok with the pregnancy and her child.

It's ok if she wants to talk every once in a while about that or about something they brought for the baby, etc. I can tolerate that.

However she wants to talk about her pregnancy/ baby all the time we're together. I think she's testing my patience or something.

Everytime I try to talk about something else she somehow turns the conversation to her pregnancy, its irritating.

Like we could be talking about work and she turns the conversation about her maternity leave or something.

Or we could be talking about something personal to me and she would tell me something regarding marriage and "when you're a mom" or stuff like that, it's annoying.

Yesterday I was having a bad day, honestly I had a bad week because I broke with my boyfriend and I had to work on Saturday, I was tired and...

We already had plans to have dinner together so as did not felt like going out I invited her to my house and we ordered take away.

We ate and were talking afterwards. I was just ranting about life to her and such. And then she somehow turns the conversation again to her pregnancy.

She started telling me about her back hurting and how she felt the baby kicking and such. She went on like that for like 10 minutes until I got tired...

I said "I don't care much about pregnancies, can we take about something else?"

She was very angry and she told me she was telling me about something important to her, I told her that it's only important to her.

I don't care to know every single detail of her pregnancy, and we can find something else to talk just for once.

She got more upset and called me an [jerk] and a bad friend. We argued and then she left. Now she's angry and doesn't answer my texts.

AITA? I feel like I acted wrong but she also is tiring with just talking about the pregnancy all the time and I snapped.

Edit: I broke off with my boyfriend because we had been talking about marriage and kids, he wants them and I don't so it was a deal breaker for him.

My friend knows this, she knows this was a big issue for us and she tells me all the time that I'll change my mind about kids sooner or later....

The context from the edit changes everything. This isn’t just a friend who won’t stop talking about herself; this is a friend who is actively dismissing the most painful aspect of the OP’s week: a breakup over fundamental life choices.

The friend knows the OP broke up with her boyfriend because she is childfree, yet she keeps insisting, “when you’re a mom.” This goes beyond simple self-centeredness and lands squarely in the territory of lacking basic empathy and respect for a friend’s boundaries and life choices.

The OP was not venting about the color of her new bath mat; she was ranting about a major life change. The friend’s immediate pivot back to her own back pain showed that she saw their dinner as a monologue opportunity, not a reciprocal support system.

The Problem With One-Sided Friendships

Friendship “drift” after one person enters parenthood is incredibly common, but the root cause is often the shift in identity and the ensuing lack of reciprocity. The pregnant friend, Kayla, has completely absorbed her identity into the role of “mother-to-be,” making it difficult for her to relate to anything outside that experience.

While pregnancy is a monumental change, it does not give someone a free pass to ignore a friend’s significant personal crisis.

Friendships are built on shared experiences and reciprocal care. When one person’s life changes radically, like becoming a parent, the foundation of shared reality often shifts, and the emotional labor for the non-parent can increase dramatically.

As clinical psychologist Dr. Miriam Kirmayer explained in a piece for Healthline, navigating these shifts requires honesty and effort: “Friendships… are dynamic and require us to continually communicate and invest in one another.” Kayla failed to invest in the OP’s emotional needs at a crucial moment.

This story also speaks to a broader societal tension. A 2021 Pew Research Center study found that 44% of non-parents aged 18 to 49 say it is “not likely” they will ever have children, up from 37% in 2018. The childfree lifestyle is increasingly common, yet pressure remains intense.

Kayla’s constant push for the OP to join the “mom club” shows a deep lack of respect for the OP’s adult decision. The very decision that led to her recent heartbreak. The outburst might have been poorly phrased, but the underlying sentiment was a desperate plea for recognition.

Check out how the community responded:

The overwhelming consensus was that the friend lacked empathy, and the OP was justified in snapping, even if the phrasing was harsh.

NTA: You are not a bad friend for requiring reciprocity.

ApocolypseJoe - NTA This is the exact reason why many new moms lose their adult friends. Because they refuse to understand that people don't want to talk about their [flipping]...

AcceptablePlay8599 - NTA You've been there for months when she needed you, and the one day you were the one who needed her she just kept making it about her...

Some expectant moms make their entire life about being a mom and become a much different person than they were for the purposes of being their friend.

There's nothing objectively wrong with that, but you and your friend may not have the connection anymore that made for your friendship to be as strong as it was.

[Reddit User] - NTA. It's not like single childfree people don't have any issues or problems to deal with. She's acting very selfish.

She's not entitled to make all conversations about her. She's still a person who can make mistakes and people around her didn't stop their lifes so she can be a...

The community also pointed out the hypocrisy of the friend centering herself when the OP was clearly in crisis mode.

NTA: She ignored your pain and your life choice.

ShazInCA - "she told me she was telling me about something important to her" I'm pretty sure you were telling her about something important to you when she changed the...

ZucchinisPasta - NTA. Your friend lacks basic empathy and sounds self-centered.

jsbleez - NTA, you really need to edit your post though so everyone knows you stance on pregnancy.

shes been dragging you about in hopes that it changes your mind so you will have a kid and be in the same boat as her

Some users offered softer advice, noting that while the OP was right, a less aggressive approach might have saved the friendship.

Soft NTA: You were right, but maybe you could have been gentler.

Severe-Definition656 - NTA but I would’ve said it differently. Like hey we talk about your pregnancy a lot and I’m at capacity right now to hear about it.

I’m having a hard week, can I share my problems. If you can’t handle my issues that’s fine, but then I need some space. Or something like that

Sunscreans - NTA, it’s normal to witness people talk about their achievements, but not make it their whole personality.

She surely knows you don’t like children and she could have been more considerate when choosing which topic to bring up. It’s good that you let her know.

One comment suggested that the hormonal changes of pregnancy might have played a factor, creating a moment of ‘No [bad guys] Here’ (NAH).

[Reddit User] - NAH, It’s obviously a huge milestone for her so good for your friend,

however you got to remember she’s quite literally going through a huge change with new hormones being produced in preparation to carry this baby along with the eventual delivery so...

The consensus is clear: while the phrase “I don’t care much about pregnancies” was blunt, it was the necessary explosion of pent-up emotional labor. The OP had tried to set soft boundaries, but when those boundaries were stomped on right after a devastating breakup, the snap was inevitable.

Sometimes, losing a friend is simply the painful cost of growing apart.

What do you think? Did the OP use the wrong words, or was her friend so self-absorbed that only a verbal shock could get her attention?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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