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This Woman Considers Leaving Boyfriend of 6 Years After He Refuses to Marry Her

by Jeffrey Stone
October 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Relationships are built on love, trust, and the willingness to grow together. For one woman, her relationship has lasted six years, included raising two children, and even buying a house together.

But despite all of this, one important piece is still missing: marriage. While she has dreamed of walking down the aisle, her partner continues to avoid the subject. After years of waiting, she is now at a breaking point, wondering whether to stay or finally move on.

This Woman Considers Leaving Boyfriend of 6 Years After He Refuses to Marry Her
Not the actual photo

When Commitment Stalls, Self-Worth Takes the Lead – Here’s The Original Post:

'WIBTAH For leaving my boyfriend of 6 years for not marrying me?'

For context, we have been together for 6 years. We have two children, a mortgage, the works. I've stressed how much I want to get married and he keeps saying...

I work full time, make sure all of the housework is done, all bills are paid, do everything with/for the kids and dogs. I've literally cried to him about feeling...

I even offered to go to the courthouse and get married (which is never what I wanted, but would've settled for) instead and he said we would, but would never...

I feel embarrassed when people ask me why we are not married or when we are going to get married. Would I be the a**hole for leaving him over not...

EDIT: Just wanted to clarify a few things. We already share finances. I don't want a big fancy wedding so the issue isn't money. I don't want any of his...

The only thing I want and ever wanted is to be his wife. I won't propose because I know that if I did he would say no.

He always told me that. If it was "just a piece of paper" like so many of you are saying then why is it such an issue to just go...

Edit #2: He has been saying lately that he does want to get married, but still hasn’t proposed, bought a ring, or made any plans.

He told me the other night that we should go to the courthouse and get married so that I can have health insurance.

His work also asked me to sign something stating we are common law married but I refused. I feel like we can either be married or nothing.

I feel like I am starting to resent him for this. I have decided that if he doesn’t propose before Dec 31 I am leaving. Enough is enough.

The Ongoing Struggle for Commitment

From the very beginning, marriage was something she wanted. She wasn’t asking for a grand event with flowers, music, and hundreds of guests.

Even a simple courthouse ceremony would have been enough to show that their partnership was official. But each time she brought it up, her partner found a reason to delay.

At first, she thought he just needed time. Maybe he was stressed with work, or maybe the timing wasn’t right. But years went by, and nothing changed. Instead, she felt more and more invisible whenever the subject was dismissed.

Carrying the Weight of the Family

The woman has been doing her best to keep the family together. She takes care of the children, keeps up with the household chores, and contributes to the financial responsibilities.

In many ways, she already lives the role of a wife. What hurts her most is that the recognition she hopes for, the promise of marriage, has never come.

It is not only about romance. To her, marriage represents stability, respect, and the security of knowing they are officially committed. Without it, she feels stuck in a relationship where her efforts are taken for granted.

Humiliation and Heartache

One of the most painful parts for her is how others view the relationship.

When friends or family ask about marriage, she feels embarrassed having to explain that, despite everything they share, her partner has still not proposed. Each time, the shame cuts deeper.

Her emotional needs have been made clear many times. She cried, pleaded, and even offered compromises, but her partner’s lack of action has left her feeling dismissed and unimportant.

Over time, that disappointment has grown into resentment.

A Bold Ultimatum

After years of waiting, the woman finally made a decision. She gave her partner until the end of the year to propose. If he does not, she plans to leave.

The deadline is not meant as a threat, but as a boundary. She cannot continue to live in a relationship where her most basic wish is ignored.

This ultimatum is a risky move. It might push her partner to finally act, but it could also cause the relationship to collapse. Still, for her, it feels like the only way to protect her self-respect.

Expert Insights on Commitment

Relationship experts often point out that mismatched expectations are one of the biggest causes of conflict.

A 2024 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that many couples struggle when one partner values marriage more strongly than the other. This mismatch often leads to feelings of frustration and loneliness.

Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship therapist, has explained that true commitment requires both partners to honor each other’s needs. In this case, the woman has been clear and consistent about her desire for marriage, but her partner has ignored those needs. That lack of effort is what makes the situation so painful.

Some experts suggest open conversations where both partners share their fears and hopes about marriage. But if those talks continue to fail, setting boundaries, as this woman has done, may be the healthiest step forward.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many supported her decision to set an ultimatum, saying she deserves to be valued and respected.

JariaDnf − NTA - Sorry but, he doesn't want to marry you. Move on and find something real with someone willing to commit to you. This man isn't going to.

Edit: For all of you guys on the "BUT HE'S COMMITTED" train. Spousal legal protections is a real and important thing. There are rights and legal protections that spouses have...

Why do you think the LGBT community has fought so hard for the right to marry? All that aside though, to OP this is a deep need, deep enough that...

If her partner is truly committed and marriage is "just a piece of paper" (it's not) , like some of you say, then he should have no hesitation about fulfilling...

No-Gain4575 − He will not marry you, yet he will marry someone else about 5 minutes after you leave. Once you understand and accept this as a fact, leave.

Humoresque8 − YWBTA to yourself if you don't leave him. You have literally begged this man to marry you and he still hasn't.

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?" You have to stop sacrificing your self-respect and love *you* more than you...

He isn't going to marry you because you're providing him with all the benefits of the married life without the legal commitment.

You should leave altogether and not pursue this relationship any further, because honestly, why would you want to marry a person who does not want to marry you?

Others pointed out that she had already built a life with someone who was unwilling to commit, and urged her to protect herself legally and emotionally.

RedneckDebutante − Women need to stop doing this b__lshit. Why on earth would you have children or buy a house before he married you if marriage was your goal?

You gave him all the benefits of marriage without any of the obligations. There's no undoing kids or a mortgage and there's no leaving and never seeing him again with...

Tboogie-1 − You went and did everything backwards, a mortgage and kids before a wedding. He obviously doesn’t want to marry you.

Careless_Welder_4048 − Girlllllll. NTA but what is the exit strategy? Are you doing this to scare him into marrying you?

Some commenters suggested that her partner might simply be too comfortable, knowing she will stay regardless of his actions. 

Tmpowers0818 − You would be the AH if you don’t leave him.

Theunpolitical − You wouldn’t be the a**hole for leaving. You’d be someone finally choosing herself after being repeatedly dismissed.

You’ve given six years of your life, built a home, raised children, and carried the emotional and practical weight of the relationship.

You’ve been clear, vulnerable, and patient and still, he avoids a commitment that should be a joyful next step, not an inconvenience.

Even when you offered a compromise (that you didn’t even truly want), he still didn’t follow through. That’s not being busy that’s being indifferent.

Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. It’s about partnership, respect, and showing up for each other. You’ve shown up in every way.

And he’s shown you time and time again that he’s comfortable benefiting from everything you provide, without honoring what you truly need. So no, you wouldn’t be wrong for leaving.

You’d be reclaiming your dignity and making space for the love and respect you deserve. Don’t spend another day or year convincing someone to value you. The right person wouldn’t...

You’re not asking for too much. You’re just asking the wrong person!

observer46064 − NTA but why would you buy a house and have kids before getting married. Not you have just complicated everything.

Opening-Friend-3963 − He doesn't want to marry you or he would.   plus he already has all the things he needs. Sorry

A Future in Question

This woman’s situation highlights how painful it can be when love and commitment do not match.

After six years, two children, and a shared home, she is still waiting for the marriage she has always wanted. With her ultimatum set for the end of the year, the future of the relationship is uncertain.

The bigger question remains: should someone continue waiting for a partner who refuses to take that final step, or is leaving the stronger choice? For this woman, the answer will soon arrive, either with a proposal or with a new chapter on her own.

 

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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