Imagine showing up to a birthday dinner with good vibes and an empty stomach, only to realize the only things you’ll be eating are… bread and beer. That’s exactly what happened to one vegan couple who joined their friend’s last-minute birthday bash in Brooklyn.
What was supposed to be a night of laughter turned into a billing fiasco when the host sent them a Venmo request for a whopping $120 each even though their actual tab barely grazed $40.
Instead of paying quietly, they offered a smaller amount, and suddenly the group chat was hotter than the restaurant’s grill. Want the juicy details? Grab your carbs and hops, we’re diving in.
A vegan couple, eating only bread at a family-style birthday dinner, refused to pay $120 for food they couldn’t eat, sparking a feud
Money and friendship often collide at the dinner table, and group dining can turn into a test of fairness. The story of a vegan couple who joined a birthday dinner in Brooklyn but ended up eating only bread and beer while being asked to pay $120 for a family-style feast, illustrates this tension clearly.
On one hand, they didn’t consume the expensive dishes. On the other, they didn’t speak up when the group decided to split the check evenly.
Psychologists note that group pressure often silences people when it comes to money. Dr. Mary Gresham, a financial psychologist, explains that “people avoid conversations about money in social settings because it feels uncomfortable or selfish to break group norms”.
That silence, however, can lead to resentment later. By waiting until after the meal to protest, the couple shifted the shortfall onto their friend, who had already collected full payments from others.
The etiquette of dining out with groups is not straightforward. Experts on financial fairness recommend clarity upfront: if you know you won’t eat much, say so before the food is ordered.
That allows either separate checks or adjustments in how much food is ordered for the group. For people with dietary restrictions, it’s especially important. Being transparent prevents awkwardness later and ensures no one feels taken advantage of.
Boundaries also matter here. The couple was right to resist paying for food they didn’t eat. As etiquette writer Jodi R. R. Smith puts it, “Fairness is not paying for what you did not consume. But fairness is also not making others cover your share without warning”. The balance lies in voicing that boundary early, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Check out how the community responded:
These users cheered the couple’s NTA stance, arguing $60 covered their share and the friend’s lack of vegan options was rude
However, some leaned ESH, saying the couple should’ve spoken up about their veganism when the family-style plan emerged, sparing the friend the bill shortfall
But, these commenters called them the jerk for not advocating earlier, noting their silence led to assumptions.
One questioned why they didn’t order hummus separately
At the end of the day, this wasn’t just about bread and beer, it was about communication. The couple assumed they could quietly blend in, the host assumed everyone would pay evenly, and now the birthday memories are forever paired with bitterness over a Venmo request.
So here’s the million-dollar (or $120) question: Should you always pay your “equal share” at group dinners, even if you barely ate, or is it fair to only cover your own tab? And how do you handle it without looking cheap or getting chewed out? Share your hot takes below.
