“We Should Be Roommates”: Cheating Husband’s Solution to Keep Seeing His Baby Every Day

There is a particular kind of heartbreak that comes with a betrayal during pregnancy. Just when a couple should be nesting and picking out onesies, they are instead navigating the ruins of their relationship. A Reddit user recently shared a story that has the internet rallying around her in support.

After discovering her husband cheated on her with a colleague, an act he blamed on alcohol despite prior warnings, she decided to prioritize her mental health and move out. However, the drama did not end with the separation.

The husband is now reportedly “devastated” that he won’t have 24/7 access to their newborn daughter, leading to a high-pressure proposal to live as roommates or split custody immediately. It is a messy, emotional situation that raises big questions about forgiveness, consequences, and what is truly best for a baby.

The Story:

Reading this honestly makes your heart ache for the OP. It is one thing to deal with the end of a marriage; it is another to do it while preparing for childbirth. The husband’s panic is understandable on a human level, no parent wants to miss those precious first moments, but his requests feel incredibly detached from reality.

Asking a breastfeeding mother to separate from her newborn overnight so the baby can “get used to his smell” seems to prioritize his feelings over the biological needs of the infant.

And let’s talk about the “roommate” suggestion. While it sounds practical on paper (saving money, shared help), the emotional toll of living with the person who just betrayed you would be astronomical. Walking on eggshells in your own home with a newborn? That sounds like a recipe for postpartum anxiety, not a solution.

Expert Opinion

This conflict highlights a common psychological struggle known as the disconnect between intent and impact. While the husband may feel his “alcohol-fueled mistake” shouldn’t cost him his daily fatherhood experience, relationship experts emphasize that broken trust shatters the entire family infrastructure.

According to Dr. Robert Weiss, a specialist in intimacy disorders, cheating partners often struggle to accept that their actions have permanently altered the family dynamic. They may attempt to “bargain” to get their old life back without doing the necessary repair work.

In this case, the husband is trying to skip the consequences of the separation he caused.

Furthermore, regarding the baby’s needs, pediatric experts widely agree on the importance of the “Fourth Trimester.” Information from Healthline and pediatric associations notes that newborns have an intense physiological need for their primary caregiver, especially when breastfeeding.

Separating a nursing infant from their mother for overnight stays in the first few months can disrupt feeding cycles and attachment.

The mother isn’t being “selfish” by keeping the baby close; she is following biological imperatives. Dr. Meyers, a clinical psychologist, often notes that “co-parenting effectively requires clear boundaries, especially in the early stages of grief.”

Trying to force a “happy family” roommate scenario often leads to more toxicity, which the baby can pick up on even at a young age.

Community Opinions

The Reddit community was fiercely protective of the mom-to-be, offering a mix of harsh reality checks for the husband and gentle encouragement for the OP to hold her ground.

Readers were quick to point out that biology, specifically breastfeeding, dictates the schedule—not the father’s feelings.

Most commenters felt the husband had lost his right to complain about missing out.

Users warned that living together would likely result in more heartbreak.

Some suspected the husband wasn’t actually prepared for the work involved.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you find yourself in a similar heartbreaking position, it is vital to slow down. High-stakes decisions about housing and custody should not be made while you are in a state of shock.

First, consult a family law attorney immediately. Understanding your rights regarding custody and breastfeeding will give you confidence. In many jurisdictions, courts rarely separate a breastfeeding newborn from the mother for overnight visits.

Second, resist the pressure to fix things for the other person. Your priority is your peace and the baby’s health. “Roommating” with an ex often blurs boundaries and delays healing. If co-parenting is the goal, consider “parallel parenting” initially, where you have minimal contact while transferring the child for short visits.

You can offer him reasonable visitation hours without compromising your mental health or the baby’s feeding schedule.

Conclusion

This story serves as a painful reminder that our choices have ripple effects we can’t always predict. The husband likely never imagined a drunken night would cost him his mornings with his daughter, but that is his new reality.

The OP is tasked with an incredibly hard job: raising a child while mourning her marriage. Was she right to refuse the roommate setup, or does the stepmom have a point about compromise? How would you handle visitation in the early weeks?