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Wife Files For Divorce After Husband Wants Both Her And His Girlfriend

by Layla Bui
January 2, 2026
in Social Issues

Love can often feel like a game of second chances. But how many is too many when betrayal becomes a pattern? For one woman, it wasn’t just the infidelity that broke her trust, it was the fact that her husband wasn’t even willing to make a choice between her and the other woman.

After years of loyalty and sacrifice, including raising his children from a previous relationship, she found herself once again on the receiving end of a shocking revelation: her husband was still pursuing someone else, despite claiming to want to work things out.

With her heart breaking and her patience thinning, she was faced with the toughest decision of her life: stay in a marriage that was built on broken promises, or finally say goodbye.

Scroll down to see why this story has sparked intense debate about boundaries, respect, and what it really means to forgive.

A woman divorces her husband after discovering his infidelity and his request to add another woman to their marriage

Wife Files For Divorce After Husband Wants Both Her And His Girlfriend
not the actual photo

'My husband wants a gf so I filed for divorce?'

While attempting to refinance our house, I discovered my husband was sending money to another woman.

After more digging into his business finances,

I discovered he has taken this woman on 2 trips out of the country as well, while he left me home with HIS kids.

After the 2nd trip out of the country, they decided to call it quits after I caught them in the hotel together.

3 months later he was asking to add a second wife which is illegal in the states.

We've been together 6 yrs by now, married 3 and now he wants to add another woman to our relationship?

He portrayed like he was this monogamous loving husband in the beginning but now he claims he's poly

and I would be selfish not to do what makes him happy.

This is the 3rd marriage for both of us. He knows I divorced my previous 2 husbands for cheating.

He's adamant on being with this other woman in addition to me even though I don't agree.

I moved out of the house and filed for divorce.

The problem now is, everyone is asking me to give the marriage another chance.

It's like they're saying it's my fault because I was the one who moved out.

I raised his kids the last 6 yrs and I'm the only mom his youngest daughter knows. Their mom isn't in their life.

She cries saying "I know Dad messed up but can u come back home?".

The kids' god parents are marriage counselors through the church and are asking me to give the marriage another chance.

This is the 2nd woman he's cheated on me with and has apparently been cheating the whole 6 1/2 years we've been together.

How many chances do I need to give him?

He is saying he loves me and wants to work things out with me but still wants both of us.

I was a SAHM so I think he's just going to miss a clean house, clean clothes,

personal driver for the kids, and in home s__(since the other partner is out of state).

We have a 60 day waiting period before we can finalize the divorce.

At this point, I'm second guessing myself if I'm doing the right thing.

AITAH for not wanting to give him another chance and finalize the divorce?

UPDATE: So since I posted a few things have happened. I moved out March 1st. We still talked but not everyday.

We agreed to co-parent the kids since he went out of town for work a lot

and the kids needed someone they could reach out to when they needed something.

His b day was at the end of the month but he said he had work out of town.

Me and the Godparents took the kids to church and bbq that weekend he was working.

2 weeks into our separation we talked about working things out and me moving back home.

A week later I moved back. I moved most of my things back on a Friday

and he helped me get the remaining things out of the storage on that Saturday.

Something still didn't sit right with me so I went on a 3 day fast asking GOD to reveal if we should work things out or split for good.

During my fast, I found out that the weekend of his b day he went to Florida to a resort with this woman.

Yall were right, he used us as a babysitter. I found out he was paying all of this woman's bills....lights water rent phone car note.....

I was pissed. The icing on the cake was finding out that the day he helped move my things back into the house,

he booked their flights and another resort for them in Florida for her b day weekend that fell on mother's day.

I told him he wasn't going but he protested because he already paid for everything and there was no refund.

I told him I didn't care. I also told him to end things with her right now. He asked me to give him 30 days.

I told him he was crazy. Probably because he was giving her time to find a job because she had no job.

I gave him an ultimatum to choose only me and end it now or im done for good.

I knew I was done because I lost all respect for him and could see myself putting my hands on him.

I was 100% done. I moved out exactly a week after I moved back. Pushed the divorce through and it became official 2 days ago.

I changed my number and moved on. Also, I cut off communication with the kids because they have no loyalty to me either.

When we told the kids I was moving back to the house, the 11 yr old said "but daddy was supposed to introduce us to his girlfriend."

Imagine the look on my face when hearing that. I'm moving on clean slate.

In this situation, the emotional core isn’t simply about a betrayal of trust, it’s about how deep that betrayal runs and how it forces a reevaluation of what’s healthy in a relationship.

The OP’s husband didn’t just cheat once; he maintained an affair, lied about it, and then pushed for a polyamorous relationship after years of presenting himself as a loving, monogamous partner.

This decision wasn’t just a bad choice, it was a pattern of repeated emotional neglect and disregard for the OP’s boundaries and feelings.

The betrayal here wasn’t only about physical infidelity but also about emotional manipulation: asking the OP to accept both him and his lover after he had broken the trust in their marriage.

Infidelity is one of the most damaging betrayals in a relationship, often leading to profound emotional consequences, including feelings of insecurity, sadness, and anger.

Research published in Psychology Today explains that the pain from infidelity isn’t just a passing disappointment; it’s a fundamental breach of trust, and that betrayal can lead to significant emotional distress.

For the OP, her anger and emotional distress aren’t just about the affair itself, they’re also about how her husband’s actions made her feel small, unimportant, and disregarded. It wasn’t just one betrayal but the consistent betrayal of her feelings and the false hope that he would change.

Research on infidelity shows that relationships often struggle to recover after such betrayals, especially when the person who betrayed the trust doesn’t take full responsibility or act transparently.

The OP’s husband wasn’t just trying to patch things up, he was redefining the relationship without her consent, asking her to accept his affair as a new reality rather than acknowledging the damage he caused.

Polyamory requires clear agreements, and trying to turn a long‑standing affair into a polyamorous setup after betrayal doesn’t honor the emotional needs of the partner being left behind. It’s an effort to change the rules of the game in a way that benefits the betrayer but dismisses the betrayed partner’s emotional needs.

For the OP, choosing to file for divorce was an act of self‑preservation and boundary setting. The emotional damage done by this betrayal wasn’t something that could simply be fixed with more time or words, it required an understanding that emotional and psychological safety is worth more than a marriage bound together by broken promises.

Infidelity has long been recognized as one of the leading causes of divorce, and in this case, the OP’s decision to walk away was about reclaiming her sense of dignity and trust in herself and her future.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

This group firmly believes that the husband’s repeated infidelity is unforgivable, urging the OP to finalize the divorce and move on for their own well-being

Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind − Whoever 'everyone' is, they can f__k right off along with your husband.

It sounds like he has been using you. You can't finalize that divorce soon enough.

MaskedCrocheter − NTA The reason he keeps cheating is because everyone around him keeps enabling him.

Ignore what the enablers want and rock that boat.

Do what's right for you and tell them they're bad friends and bad Christians for helping him continue to break marriage vows.

SmackMittens − Girl, leave this relationship. He has been cheating your whole relationship and wants to have a girlfriend.

You expected monogamy. This is like not even close. Do you have a support system out of him?

I'm sad that you are even second guessing this decision.

He ain't s__t, he has done nothing but show he ain't s__t. He will NEVER change.

omrmajeed − DO NOT second guess yourself. DIVORCE HIM! As a man, let me say this to you, if he cheated then he does NOT love you.

No self-respecting man would cheat on their spouse. He is scum and does not deserve any chances.

These commenters emphasized that the OP is justified in leaving, pointing out that the husband’s actions reflect a complete lack of respect for marriage vows and boundaries

ShowMeTheFunny22 − YTA if you give him another chance. He's shown his true colors for years and he won't change.

AssignmentNo9425 − Air out his dirty laundry to those ppl who wanted you to give him a second chance.

Ask them would they be willing to stay with a partner that has cheated on them multiple times?

NerdySwampWitch40 − NTA. By the church, is this LDS? Regardless, you have given him infinite chances.

Let his daughter know that you love and care about her, but you can't stay married to someone who isn't a good partner to you just for her.

The godparents can step in and help with the kids. That's what they're for.

But you do not need to keep catering to a man who pulls this b__lshit. Finalize the divorce. Move on. Take some time to be single after.

These users echoed the sentiment that the OP should trust their own judgment, emphasizing the harmful impact of staying in a relationship built on lies and disrespect

Comfortable_Way_1261 − NTA. This is unacceptable, since you laid down your boundaries and he keeps stepping on them.

I am sorry about the kids though, but you absolutely should not stay just because of them.

You can stay in contact with them if you still want. But the blatant disrespect from your partner is outrageous.

You are absolutely doing the right thing, don't second guess yourself and don't let anybody convince you otherwise.

He portrayed like he was this monogamous loving husband in the beginning but now he claims he's poly

and I would be selfish not to do what makes him happy If you are selfish, what would he call himself?

He hurt not only you but his children as well, because he can't keep it in his pants because he's "poly".

Yeah no, he's a POS. Hopefully the girlfriend will treat his kids right. How old are they?

LyraSevonar − NTA. I could have written a very similar story 6 years ago. I made the mistake of staying and trying to make it work.

What happened is that I got stuck at home with all the adult responsibilies while he went cavorting around with his girlfriend

who happily rubbed it in my face at every opportunity. Stay strong.

Divorce your POS husband and go live your life.

Tell anyone who tries to talk you out of it that they need to be addressing him and telling HIM

that he needs to dump his side piece and focus on his kids. Remind the adults that this is 100% his fault.

Fantastic-Minute-939 − Divorce your husband. Find a new church!

[Reddit User] − Wtf the church people condones cheating now? Do they know he wants the marriage to have three people in it?

This group criticized the husband’s behavior, particularly his push for polyamory without respect for the OP’s wishes

cas-par − poly person here, NTA. myself and pretty much everyone else I know who is also poly would never force someone into it

when they don’t want to be, or try to establish any kind of polyamorous relationship

without clear cut boundaries and communication, along with respect and care. your husband is just out to cheat.

don’t listen to anyone other than yourself, because they aren’t the ones who have to be in the relationship.

OrangyOgre − NTA 6yrs of lies idk why others are asking for a second chance and he isnt even sorry for what he has done.

Particular-Try5584 − She cries saying "I know Dad messed up but can u come back home? ".

Those are some very adult words. Someone is feeding her lines…. Someone is using her to try to manipulate you.

The kids' god parents are marriage counsellors through the church and are asking me to give the marriage another chance.

(Most) Churches do NOT have a good record with non qualified ‘marriage counsellors’ in their ranks

being able to effectively manage issues as complex as this.

If your husband (and you) is serious about marriage counselling go somewhere that has a strong qualification base

(not some ‘certificate course from the local bible college’) and independent of your every day lives.

​ He is saying he loves me and wants to work things out with me but still wants both of us.

Does these Church counsellors know this? Is this a polygamous church?

If so… then they’ll counsel you to stay. If it’s not… why don’t they know this, or why are they counselling you to stay?

And… why does he get to demand this?

You made vows of monogamy right? You are keeping your vows.

You didn’t sign up for polygamy I presume… so…. he’s changes the terms of agreement and stomping. He can’t do that.

I bet Woman2 (or is it woman4? Who can keep count here?!) has declared she won’t look after the kids,

so he’s hoping to keep you around to look after the kids.

How is this working? Are you all supposed to move to her? She to you?

She stays there, you where you are, and he gets to bounce between the two? How does God feel about this huh?

This commenter questioned the legitimacy of the church’s marriage counseling

AlpineLad1965 − " God parents are marriage counselors thru the church."

I doubt that they are licensed. Does the church condone infidelity?

What do you think? Was it right for her to leave, or should she have given him another chance? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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