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Wife Spends Months Fighting for Her Marriage, Then Finds Out Her Husband Was Never Loyal

by Leona Pham
July 30, 2026
in Social Issues

Sometimes, the hardest decisions are the ones where you finally choose yourself after spending so much time fighting for someone else.

Walking away from a relationship can feel impossible, especially when there is history, marriage, and a child involved.

The original poster (OP) spent months trying to rebuild her family after her husband suddenly left and later revealed his affair.

Even after making major sacrifices to give their marriage another chance, she continued facing disappointment and heartbreak.

When he eventually changed his mind and wanted her back, OP realized her feelings had changed completely.

Read on to see how OP found the strength to move forward and what happened after she chose divorce.

Wife struggles after her husband repeatedly leaves, cheats, and returns

Wife Spends Months Fighting for Her Marriage, Then Finds Out Her Husband Was Never Loyal
not the actual photo

'My (29M) soon to be ex-husband seems to feel entitled to another chance with me (28F)?'

My husband and I have been together almost 8 years, married for 2 and

half of those .Last May (2019) we seperated seemingly overnight. He left

me and our toddler and moved back to his hometown. There was never a

solid reason given, just that he felt we should have never gotten married. In

July, he changed his tune and wanted to be a family again. He was still at

his job in his hometown, so I decided I would ride it out at my job in a

different city for a couple of months to build my resume and then start

looking for other jobs in his hometown. After 6 months of a brutal

commute, taking care of our child during the week by myself and driving to

his hometown EVERY weekend, interviewing, basically bending over

backwards, I finally landed a great job in December. A week before I was to

move into the new house we were buying together and start my new job, I

found out he had been having an affair. He begged and pleaded for me to

stay with him, said he’d break off all contact, and I foolishly agreed to give

him another chance. Two days later while I was back in the different city

and completing my last week of work at my old job, he unblocked her on

everything and liked her pictures on Instagram. I was devastated. On top of

that s__t show, he kicked me out of the house we were supposed to move

in together and I had to find a new place to live TWO days before starting

my new position. We have lived seperately ever since. He has said and done

so many hateful things in this time period, and said so many times that he

wants a divorce that I’ve lost count. Up until a month ago he was still

maintaining contact with her. I saw her car at his house, took pictures for

the lawyers, etc. and he admitted he had been talking with her still. I

stopped doing the “pick me dance” about a month ago and stopped

reaching out to him besides contact about our child. Now he has suddenly

changed his tune and is “desperate” to get me back and will do anything.

He has unfollowed her on everything. Unliked all her pictures. Tells me not

to give up on our family. I’ve moved on... I am not interested in pursuing

another relationship with him. He’s hurt me deeply and I feel like I’ve been

fucked over by him so many times that I’ve lost count. How can I tell him

there isn’t a chance without sounding like a completely heartless person? I

still want to be able to maintain a strong coparenting relationship with him,

so I am friendly to him, but he seems to take that as I want him back. I have

relayed to him my feelings, but they fall on deaf ears. He says he will never

stop trying to get our family back together and does not want a divorce. I

do. Does anyone have advice?

TL;DR: husband cheated and left me, was adamant he wanted a divorce,

now when I want one too he changes his tune.

Edited to add, just to show the kind of person he is: When I asked him

about the reason for his sudden change of heart, he said it was because I

“seemed stronger”. Ahhh, the irony. Honestly, a big thank you to the p__ck

for yanking the rug under my feet not once, but twice, because I truly have

realized how much better I can do and how I don’t need anyone but myself

to have a happy life.

2nd Edit: Seriously, thank you to everyone who has read my story and

commented. You have no idea how much it’s helping me to focus on myself

and realize I need stop considering the feelings of someone who had no

consideration of mine. I only hope that anyone who is in a similar situation

realizes that you CAN and you DO move on. And I promise that you will feel

like a 10,000 pound weight has been lifted off your back.

3rd Edit: He is being served papers in the next 1-2 weeks. Guarantee the

“I’ve Changed” mask slips off. I hope I’m wrong...but I’ve learned all too well

that my gut feelings are usually spot on. Hopefully I’ll be back with an

update in a few months with the good news that the split is official!

UPDATE: Well, turns out my gut instincts were right. The entire time he was

begging for another chance and promising “this time would be different”

(eye-roll) he was still sleeping with the affair partner and telling him he

loved her and would do anything to make it work with her. It didn’t even

hurt me to find it out. I was THAT unsurprised. It just helped me stop

feeling guilty. I divorced his ass.

I thank the universe every day that he is no longer connected to me in a

romantic way. It feels like an ENORMOUS weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Shortly after my original post I met someone by chance at a wedding and

fell in love. This person is everything my ex husband was not. The kindness,

compassion, and respect they show not just me, but to my daughter as

well, is like something from a dream. I never knew love could be so easy.

To anyone in a loveless marriage reading this-LEAVE. Do the hard thing-

ESPECIALLY if they have a pattern of leaving/returning/cheating, etc. Lord

knows I was terrified to cut the cord. At one point in time I was actually

starting to feel bad for the guy because he was begging me every single

day for another chance. He tried to convince me that getting a divorce

would ruin my future, our daughters future, that she would come from a

“broken family”- but it was the exact opposite. It was broken already and I

fixed it. Once I made up my mind that divorce was the best option, I

absolutely thrived. I learned independence. I found how to be happy on my

own. I found happiness in a partner. Life has never been so sweet. The bad

shit makes the good shit so much better. Thank you, Reddit, for the

support on my original post. It helped turn my graveyard into a garden.

TL;DR: I divorced him and found true happiness.

One of the most painful experiences in a relationship is not always losing someone; sometimes it is realizing that the person you trusted was willing to risk losing you.

When love, commitment, and family are involved, walking away can feel almost impossible, even when staying continues to cause harm.

OP’s story reflects the emotional exhaustion of someone who spent months trying to save a relationship while her partner repeatedly made choices that damaged the foundation of trust.

The heart of this situation is not simply about an affair. It is about inconsistency, emotional uncertainty, and the effect of repeatedly being pulled between hope and disappointment.

OP’s husband left, returned, promised change, broke that promise, and then wanted reconciliation only after OP stopped chasing him.

That pattern can create a painful cycle where one person constantly waits for the other person to finally choose them.

When OP stopped trying to convince him and began rebuilding her own life, she gained something important: clarity.

A different perspective is that some people mistake losing access to someone for losing love.

OP’s husband seemed to become more determined once she became emotionally independent.

This does not necessarily mean his feelings were completely fake, but it raises questions about motivation.

Sometimes people do not recognize the value of something until they feel it slipping away.

However, wanting someone back is different from being prepared to repair the damage they caused.

This perspective helps explain why OP’s decision was not based on anger alone.

She was responding to a long pattern of broken trust.

Her husband’s sudden promises could not erase the months where she carried the emotional and practical responsibility of raising their child while also dealing with betrayal.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Someone can forgive a person while still deciding that the relationship is no longer healthy.

The situation also shows how personal growth can change the way people see their choices.

OP initially feared divorce would harm her family, but she eventually realized that a family is not defined only by staying together.

A child benefits from stability, respect, and emotionally healthy parents more than simply having two people remain in a relationship filled with pain.

The most important lesson from OP’s journey is that love should not require someone to repeatedly abandon themselves.

Relationships can survive mistakes, but only when both people are willing to face the consequences of those mistakes.

Sometimes the strongest act of love toward oneself and one’s family is accepting that a chapter has ended and choosing to build something healthier from there.

Check out how the community responded:

These commenters focused on OP’s concern about seeming “heartless.”

OliviaPresteign − You are not “heartless” for being direct about your

feelings—and even if you were, why would you be so careful about his

feelings when he cares so little for yours? You need a lawyer to come up

with a custody agreement. You do not need to be “friendly” with him to

coparent effectively.

You just need to be cordial and not disparage him in front of your child.

xtlou − “My ex feels entitled to a relationship with me. ” Filed under “How

awesome for him. ” See, also “‘No’ is a complete answer. ,” You’re

concerned about appearing like a heartless person to someone who not

only acted heartlessly to you, but abandoned your child. Stop giving

consideration and concern to people who’ve gone out of their way to give you neither.

Here’s what you tell him: Trust is one of the most important aspects of a

relationship and you have destroyed my ability to ever trust you. There can

be no more chances because there is no more trust.

If you want to prove yourself trustworthy, do it by being a good father and

prove it to our child because the only future relationship we have is co-parents.

czhunc − How can I tell him there isn’t a chance without sounding like a

completely heartless person? Why does it matter to you if his feelings are

hurt by how you phrase this? You gave him multiple chances and he's

proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he can never be trusted again.

Some part of him understands this.

Just be firm about what you have to say and don't engage him if he asks

you for another chance. No is a complete sentence.

Commenters suggested that OP stop over-explaining her decision because repeated explanations can give the ex opportunities to argue or manipulate

JadeSpade23 − Wow, the gall he has to tell you not to give up on the

family. You are giving up on being with him, not on having a family! The

nerve, I swear. That's him trying to gaslight and manipulate you into

getting back with him. HE gave up on the family when he abandoned you

more than once and cheated.

Don't worry about his feelings; be civil for your kid's sake, but you don't

have to give him anything more than that!

Peregrinebullet − "No. " is a complete sentence, and only manipulative

people will try to convince you that it's mean. Stop trying to explain

yourself, he literally does not care about your feelings. He only cares about

his own, which is why he is pushing and pushing for a situation that

benefits him. That's why your explanations are falling on "deaf ears". Stop

JADE-ing. Justify / Argue / Defend / Explain.

Any time he brings up getting back together, just say "No. " and do no

engage. Keep all communication to text message and don't think you owe

him anything except good co-parenting info.

These comments suggested that the ex’s renewed interest may be driven more by losing control or realizing OP is moving on rather than genuine change

polo4ever − I bet you the only reason why his tune changed is because he

realized there won't be anyone waiting around for him anymore. Don't feel

like you have to play nice because of your child. Get a lawyer to draw up a

divorce and custody agreement and have his lawyer talk to your lawyer.

drbarnowl − He’s abusive. He just wants to keep control of you and your

pain. Now it’s clear he no longer has control he is desperate for you back.

Don’t show your kid that this is what relationships look like.

These commenters supported moving forward with divorce and creating a formal custody agreement

SweetPandaCookie − Oh wow. Divorce him and move the F on

zdsmith03 − I think you know this won't ever be a healthy relationship. He

is way too selfish and disrespectful towards you and your child. The best

thing you can do is be a solid and happy parent for your child. He is

probably best suited as an every other weekend dad with minimal responsibilities.

Get a lawyer, custody agreement and get what you are entitled from the

home you guys purchased. You need to move forward and do what is best

for you and your child. Sorry you are going through this.

After years of fighting for a marriage that her husband repeatedly walked away from, the OP finally chose herself and stopped chasing someone who kept breaking her trust.

His sudden change of heart came only after she became stronger and began moving forward, but his actions revealed the truth behind his promises.

In the end, the divorce became the beginning of a happier life rather than the end of a family.

Do you think the OP was right to let go, or should she have given him another chance? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 3/3 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/3 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/3 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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