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Woman Answers SIL’s Adoption Interview With Brutal Honesty That Completely Shocks Her

by Jeffrey Stone
January 22, 2026
in Social Issues

A 34-year-old woman opened up with stark honesty when her sister-in-law, a young mother and future social worker, asked for an interview about giving up a child for adoption. The sister-in-law, driven by her own choice to raise her baby and her fierce stance against adoption, hoped for answers that would support her college paper on family preservation and birth parent rights.

What she received instead was unfiltered reality: the woman held zero regrets about her decision at age 20, stood convinced that adoption offered her son the safest future, and explained without hesitation how keeping him would have dragged him into a world of chaos she knew she could not escape back then.

A woman shares her regret-free adoption story with her anti-adoption sister-in-law.

Woman Answers SIL's Adoption Interview With Brutal Honesty That Completely Shocks Her
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for letting my SIL interview me about being a birth mother knowing my answers wouldn't be exactly what she was looking for?'

I (34f) gave birth to a baby boy when I was 20 and I put him up for adoption.

I don't know anything about him and never had any contact with his family or him.

This isn't something I keep secret but I also don't go into the details frequently either.

My husband's younger sister (22f) became a young mom at 17.

She and her boyfriend considered giving their baby up for adoption but decided to keep their child and raise her.

This made SIL passionate about adoption and adoptee rights and birth mother rights.

She fell somewhat down the anti-adoption online rabbit hole. Not to say there aren't negatives to the industry, there are. But she's got a lot of wrong ideas.

She's also a college student and focuses a lot on adoption for her assignments.

She wants to be a social worker who helps people keep their kids so adoption becomes a thing of the past.

I'm the only birth mother she knows well enough to ask for an interview and when she asked I said yes.

Her questions focus around a few areas from why I gave "my own baby" up for adoption to what could have changed it and did I have any regrets.

She also mentioned some studies about skin to skin and if I could go back would I have held the baby and given him skin to skin with me. I'll...

I have zero regrets about giving the baby up for adoption and if I had to remake the choice, I would. This was the only good decision for him.

For that reason even though skin to skin has benefits I would not have held him knowing about those.

Had I held him at all I would have kept him and his life would not have been good.

I was not selfless enough to put him first. He would have been abused by my ex-partner and I would have stayed.

He would have been living among drugs, s__ and all sorts of things with random people coming in and out and I would have stayed.

Keeping him would not have changed that. All it would do is give him more trauma.

The person I was back then was not going to change for a baby. I could have been given a free house, free childcare, a job and all kinds of...

and I still would've gone back and exposed him. Therapy wouldn't have helped either because I never would have taken advantage of it really.

I told her I went from one abusive household (my parents) to another (my ex) and that I was enjoy being rebellious and pissing my parents off.

That my ex was everything they hated and they were everything I hated so I clung to my ex.

And because the baby wasn't his he was never going to accept him.

I told her looking back at me then and knowing how innocent that precious little boy was I would have been a monster for keeping him.

I told her even back then I knew I wasn't going to sacrifice like that for him. I told her loving and wanting him wasn't enough.

Because I wouldn't have given him a good life. SIL argued with me on the point of resources.

She said I have no way of knowing if I would have made a better life for us if they was offered. I told her I do know.

I told her I know that 20 year old me better than anyone ever will. And the only life I would have given him would be one full of abuse...

That he never would have been my number one priority. She argued adoption might not have given that to him either

but I told her it gave him more of a chance than staying with me did.

She really didn't like my answers and told me everything I said went against the point of her paper.

I told her I couldn't lie and she asked me why I accepted then. She said I made it seem like adoption is the only option.

I told her because there are times when it is the only option. She's mad about it and my husband told her she came to me

and was wrong to be mad at me for answering the questions honestly. She said I made her work harder.

AITA? And I'm asking because I knew my answers wouldn't be the kind she wants to write about but I agreed to do this anyway in part to try and...

At 20, the Redditor escaped an abusive past, only to land in another toxic relationship. She knew herself well enough to recognize that no amount of resources would have changed her path back then.

She described a younger self too caught up in rebellion and survival to prioritize a child, predicting inevitable exposure to harm. Adoption as she insisted was a responsible option, offering her son a real chance at safety and stability.

Her SIL pushed back hard, arguing resources could have transformed everything and that adoption shouldn’t be presented as the only path. The Redditor stood firm: she knows her past self better than anyone, and keeping the child would have meant more trauma, not less. This exchange highlighted a broader tension in adoption discussions: personal experience versus idealistic views.

This story touches on larger family dynamics and adoption debates. According to data from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, neglect is the leading reason children enter foster care (around 62% of cases), with parental substance abuse a major factor in about 37% of entries, often overlapping with environments involving instability, random people, and potential abuse.

These statistics underscore that some relinquishments stem from deep awareness of unsafe conditions, not just lack of support.

As noted by the National Association of Social Workers, the child welfare system aims to prioritize safety and permanency: “Permanency can be the result of preservation of the family; reunification with the family of origin; or legal guardianship or adoption by kin, foster families, or other caring, committed adults (for example, mentors, teachers, family friends).”

The Redditor’s candor might have complicated her SIL’s paper, but it could also broaden her future approach as a social worker. Honest stories like this remind us that empathy requires hearing all sides, especially when lives are at stake.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some people say the OP is NTA because the SIL needs to hear diverse perspectives.

Sweetcilantro − nta She needs to see both sides if she's writing a paper about it.

If she is purposefully skewing the data one way she won't be a very good social worker as she will ignore what doesn't fit her narrative.

alargewithcheese − Wtf is she writing a paper for if she's gonna have confirmation bias? NTA

PleaseCoffeeMe − NTA. SIL was trying to get her answer. Not every situation is the same.

If SIL wants to be a good social worker, she needs to look at each situation individually, and with empathy.

Others affirm the OP is NTA and criticize the SIL for being closed-minded, tunnel-visioned, or brainwashed, arguing her approach could make her ineffective or harmful in social work.

em1992Bo − NTA your SIL is so closed minded and has tunnel vision for her paper.

MarthaT001 − NTA You have your own perspective and gave her a thoughtful interview.

She's mad because it doesn't line up with her worldview. Too bad. She's been brainwashed into thinking that only her solution is the correct one.

BTW, you appear to have made a very mature decision at 20.

[Reddit User] − She’s going to be a horrible social worker. Everyone’s situation is different.

You were honest about your decision and she needs to understand that and accept it.

She’s so close-minded that she’s going to get herself in a load of trouble unless she joins some religious/zealot private pro-birth organization.

5footfilly − I hope she stays the hell out of social work. She’s the type of know it all that will leave a kid in an abusive situation

in the name of family unity. It’s not a stretch to say she could get a child killed. NTA

Some support the OP being NTA and emphasize that adoption remains necessary.

judgingA-holes − NTA - Honestly she needed this realization. Even if better resources were available, adoption will never go away

because some people just aren't made to be loving, supportive parents whether that's internal or external reasons of why.

What she is suggesting is "F__k the loving, supportive, need to be there for you child part of parenting,

as long as you have resources where he has a roof and won't starve to death then you should keep the child.

And this is just not how it does nor should work at all.

Bonnm42 − NTA I would tell her “Research papers can change people’s opinions.

You are researching both sides. You knew one, now I have given you the other.

If it made more work for you, perhaps the POV of your paper is wrong.

However I did this to help you. I don’t think it’s fair to be mad at me just because I didn’t share your POV.”

One commenter praises the OP’s self-reflection and decision to choose adoption as selfless and mature, giving the child a better chance.

SunnyLittleFuexle − NTA on the paper obviously. I can’t quote on here but you said you weren’t selfless enough to put him first. And I disagree.

You gave him a chance. You gave him up for adoption. I am sure it was not an easy decision. I am very glad you seem to have found peace...

I see mothers taking their babies into all sorts of environments because they want the cute little newborn.

Until it’s not so cute and stinky and doesn’t sleep. And then the cycle you described starts.

You are very self reflective. It’s impressive. Give yourself credit for that.

In the end, this tale shows how deeply personal choices in adoption can challenge even close family bonds. Do you think the Redditor was right to answer truthfully, even knowing it wouldn’t align with her SIL’s views? Or should she have softened things for the paper? How would you navigate family expectations versus real-life experience in such a loaded topic? Drop your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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