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Woman Calls Out Sister-in-Law’s Racism After She Requests To Edit Photos To Remove Her

by Layla Bui
December 23, 2025
in Social Issues

It’s often said that the truth comes out when you least expect it, but what happens when that truth forces you to confront uncomfortable family dynamics?

One woman recently did just that after her sister-in-law, in an act of blatant racism, requested that a photographer edit her out of wedding photos.

The woman, understandably outraged, decided to expose the request, leading to a family-wide confrontation that included her boyfriend’s family and their complicity in similar past issues.

Now, she’s being criticized for ruining her sister-in-law’s honeymoon, and her boyfriend is unsure how to handle the situation. Is she wrong for standing up for herself, or did she take things too far by exposing her sister-in-law’s racism? Read on to explore how this explosive family drama continues to unfold.

A woman exposes her sister-in-law’s racist message about photos during her honeymoon, sparking outrage

Woman Calls Out Sister-in-Law’s Racism After She Requests To Edit Photos To Remove Her
not the actual photo

'AITA for “ruining” my sister in law’s honeymoon by exposing her racism?'

My (f27) sister in law (f30) got married last weekend. She’s my long term boyfriend’s (m32) sister.

They’re white and I’m Middle Eastern. And a dark one with raven black hair.

She was looking for a photographer that didn’t bankrupt her so I suggested a friend of mine

who’s new in business and charged less than half because these things cost over € 5k these days.

She was excited and I set a group chat with her and my photographer friend.

We talked a little and later they met and they started messaging directly to each other.

The wedding was amazing and everything went smoothly. I was one of the guests and she seemed happy.

The next day they went off to their honeymoon.

I don’t know if it was by mistake but instead of texting the photographer directly

like she’s done for the past few months, she texted him to our old iMessage chat.

She thanked him but had a favor to ask him and wondered whether he could retouch some asymmetry in the

(flowers archway? I’m sorry I don’t know the right terms in English)

but also if he could take me off some photos because I’m too dark and ruined the color palette.

Not all pictures. Just the ones she’s in... I texted back are you kidding me?

She didn’t answer. I took a screenshot and posted it on my insta story tagging her in it.

She called my bf crying her eyes out calling me an ah for embarrassing her and ruining her honeymoon.

Bf thought it was a low blow. I was blinded with rage when I did it but even now I’m calm I still don’t feel that I was an AH.

But people have been contacting her apparently asking if she really wrote this.

She’s so beautiful and successful so please don’t blame it on jealousy or scare of being outshined.

#edit for a little update.

1) Sister in law is still on her honeymoon so I haven’t talked to her yet but she’s bombarding my bf,

demanding that I apologize and make a new insta story with my apology.

More people got involved including my Bf’s mother that thought I was way out of line ruining her daughters wedding.

I have also got contacted by my sister in law’s friends, some of them told me stories about what she’s been talking about me behind my back.

Yeah she got what she deserved. The amount of her friends who weren’t surprised at all

with her text made it clear for me that I wasn’t wrong.

My sister in law is self employed with some foreign customers that's why she’s taking it so hard

because she’s scared that would affect her career. I don’t feel like I need to save her career should something bad happen to it.

2) My photographer friend did what he was told.

That's the only right way imo. Being professional and not confuse work with his own values.

He asked me if I wanted him to say something and I said no.

I also asked him not to tell me what they’re texting since she’s his client so he shouldn’t break confidentiality.

He’s just starting his career and he will meet worse brides. She was at least nice to him throughout their interaction.

3) now to my bf. As I said he thought this whole thing was uncomfortable.

I told him if he wanted to be with me he needed to discuss uncomfortable topics.

He opened up and it was actually deeper than this. This has happened before.

His uncle is very rich and for his 60th birthday he had a very big party.

As a thank you we received thank you cards with our pictures on it professionally taken.

I remember this picture because his uncle had a “red carpet” moment when guests were photographed upon their arrival.

Later we went to my bf’s mother to see the rest of the photos and I wasn’t in any of them.

I thought it was funny how I literally evaded being caught on camera.

I never mentioned this or even reflected on it and while my bf and his family were looking at the pictures and discussing the evening,

it was just so normal and no one mentioned something out of the ordinary.

Today he told me that I was photoshopped off the pictures.

Everyone in his family knew it but me.

At the time they just thought the uncle could choose whoever he wanted to have in his pictures and they moved on.

-but you all kept it from me. -yes. -so you must’ve thought it was hurtful.

-i did, I asked my family not to tell you.

-and we continued going to that uncle. Celebrated some Christmases, Easters and vacations with him? Silence.

-you didn’t feel offended on my behalf? Silence.

-and now you think it’s okay that your sister is doing the same?

-I didn’t think of it that way I know my sister. She isn't a r__ist.

-if it wasn’t r__ist why is she feeling “embarrassed” now? Silence

-you think what she did was alright?

-of course not!

-will you just stand and watch when this happens to our children.

-OF COURSE NOT.

I know my bf very well. He’s very kind and I never felt he was r__ist in anyway.

I know he’s not stupid and is aware of these things which makes it worse because it just means he doesn’t care enough.

I asked him why he didn’t care enough and he said he was so sorry

but he knows me to be a strong girl that never let these petty things affect her.

He’s right, I normally ignore 99% of the racism and micro aggressions I face in life and even laugh at the ignorance.

We even discussed this before. But does being strong mean that people are entitled to try to hurt me?

Because I usually don’t let them? Does it mean I wouldn’t appreciate to feel the support of my bf having my back?

Don’t strong women deserve being supported by their loved ones and feeling safe and loved? He couldn’t answer this.

I told him that I never want his sister in my life again or his uncle and probably not his mother either if she still wants me to apologize.

I don’t want to surround myself with people like them and especially when I have children and I asked him if he’s willing to live like that.

I asked him not to answer me now and think about it. It kinda felt like an ultimatum

and that's bad but I didn’t know how to handle the situation better.

I never thought of myself as someone who’s petty or that makes ultimatums.

This experience taught me that I’m both🤷🏽‍♀️. And thank you for the NTA judgment <3

Racial microaggressions are subtle or overt forms of discrimination that send demeaning messages or cues toward people of color.

These interactions are not trivial; research shows they can damage mental health over time, contributing to stress, anger, or feelings of invalidation and exhaustion.

Microaggressions often include statements or behaviors that either demean a person’s racial identity or subtly invalidate their feelings.

Because they are sometimes unintentional or denied by the perpetrator, victims may experience confusion, self‑doubt, or mental fatigue from constantly interpreting these exchanges.

Moreover, academic research indicates that racism and discrimination contribute to stress and poorer mental health outcomes.

One study on relationships in couples found that racial discrimination experiences are linked with negative outcomes like increased psychological distress, but when romantic partners provide racism‑specific support, it can help buffer those harmful effects.

In the Reddit story, the OP didn’t just face one insensitive message; she encountered a request rooted in racial exclusion, which falls under racial microaggression and discrimination.

Even if the sister‑in‑law believed her comment was “just about photos,” framing it around the OP’s skin tone can feel invalidating and hurtful.

That impact isn’t just superficial; research shows that microaggressions carry psychological weight because they can make people feel unseen, excluded, or stereotyped.

The boyfriend’s reaction, discomfort with confrontation, reflects a common issue in interracial or intercultural relationships.

Studies in psychology find that differing responses to racism within couples can strain communication and trust, especially if one partner feels their experience is minimized or dismissed.

Additionally, the research on racism‑specific support suggests that when individuals feel validated and supported by their partner after experiencing discrimination, this support can positively influence mental health and relationship resilience.

Conversely, the absence of that support may leave the discriminated partner feeling alone, misunderstood, or emotionally burdened.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These commenters support publicly calling out racism

He_Who_Is_Right_ − It is always, always, always appropriate to embarrass a r__ist. Always.

And while you're not likely to cure your sister–in–law,

perhaps she will think twice before communicating such ugly thoughts in the future. NTA.

pepperpat64 − NTA. Racists deserve to be called out publicly whenever possible.

I wonder if it was really accidental that she sent the message to the whole group.

Your BF is an AH for not standing by you and chastising his sister himself. I'm so sorry this happened to you but sadly I'm not surprised.

ETA: I misunderstood that the group chat was just OP, the bride, and the photographer.

GonnaBeOverIt − NTA. Total r__ist and if your boyfriend doesn’t completely have your back on this I would walk out on him

This group stresses that racism should never be tolerated and that the sister-in-law’s actions had clear consequences

Evanescentlyy − NTA - Racism should never be tolerated.

As an adult, she should understand that actions have consequences, so choose wisely.

Unfortunately, she came across the wrong person, and she was put on blast.

Imagine how many others she treated poorly based on their skin color if she easily did it to you as a new family member.

VVetSpecimen − You know what would have really fixed this for her? Not being a f__king r__ist. GG, OP. You’re NTA.

kitscarlett − NTA. She played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.

If more people were outed for the s__t they said, they’d be less comfortable saying it.

I might go with a different judgment if what she said was more ambiguous

or if she had responded to you, but it’s a rather clear case of racism and dislike.

They emphasize the importance of holding people accountable for their actions, suggesting that the sister-in-law’s behavior should not be excused

cocoprezzz − At first I felt ESH, but f__k that. NTA.

White people want to be r__ist behind closed doors, but the moment they get called out,

they gaslight you into think they’re the victim instead of taking responsibility.

If this is someone you care about and have a good relationship with, my recommendation would have been to talk to her about it.

While what she said was r__ist, she likely doesn’t understand why. But at the end of the day, it’s not really your job.

[Reddit User] − You realise a lot of r__ist dudes date women of colour too right?

If he doesn't see anything wrong with what his sister did I'd say this is a huge redflag

These commenters highlight the boyfriend’s failure to support the OP and suggest that distancing from his family may be necessary due to their racist views

excel_pager_420 − Bf thought it was a low blow Your bf is ok with his sister's racism to you.

He's annoyed at you for exposing it which means it's incredibly likely that he knew all about her views.

You might want to think distancing yourself from this vile r__ist family. NTA

FoolMe1nceShameOnU − NTA You didn't "embarrass her on her honeymoon".

She embarrassed herself. If she hadn't done something staggeringly r__ist, none of this would have happened.

It's really that simple. Could you have chosen not to make it public?

I suppose so, but what justification is there for expecting that of you?

She was blatantly r__ist, and literally her only reason for DEHUMANISING you was "aesthetics".

And her only excuse wasn't that she didn't mean to dehumanise you . . .

but that she didn't mean for you to see the message where she did it.

So again: what possible, reasonable justification could there be for asking you to show her any kindness or compassion at all.

She clearly has none for you, and her entire upset isn't even that she is ashamed of being r__ist,

but that she is ashamed that people know about it.

So she hasn't even learned anything from any of this; certainly not empathy or compassion.

And just for argument's sake, say you hadn't seen the message.

Did she think that months from now, paging through wedding albums with your boyfriend's family,

or visiting her and seeing framed photos, that you wouldn't notice

that you'd been COMPLETELY PHOTOSHOPPED OUT of group photos that you'd posed for?

Or that she wouldn't have to explain? Nope. All she's seeing are reasonable consequences for her own hateful behaviour. You are NTA.

As others have noticed, if she didn't want to be branded a r__ist, all she had to do was not do r__ist things.

Was OP wrong for exposing her sister-in-law’s racism and embarrassing her on her honeymoon? Reddit seems to think not. By shining a light on this blatant act of racism, OP not only called out the sister-in-law’s behavior but also sparked a wider conversation about the insidious nature of microaggressions in family dynamics.

While OP’s boyfriend might feel caught between loyalty and love, the real issue lies in the lack of support and accountability from him and his family. This isn’t just about wedding photos, this is about creating an environment where racism isn’t tolerated, even when it comes from those closest to us.

What do you think? Did OP take it too far, or was exposing her sister-in-law’s racism the right move? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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