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Woman Exposes Parents’ Affair To Both Families, Now Regrets Ruining Their Marriages

by Layla Bui
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

The truth has a way of coming out, often with painful consequences. For one Redditor, uncovering her birth father’s identity turned into a family-wide scandal that shattered two marriages.

Born out of an affair, she had been raised by her grandparents and kept in the dark about her true parentage for years. But when she decided to reach out to her father’s family, things took a dramatic turn.

What followed was a series of actions that resulted in both her parents’ marriages falling apart, leaving the Redditor to grapple with whether exposing the truth was worth the hurt she caused.

Was it her responsibility to keep quiet, or was seeking the truth justified, even if it ruined relationships? Keep reading to explore the aftermath of this emotional journey.

A person reveals their parent’s affair to both families, causing divorces and family turmoil

Woman Exposes Parents’ Affair To Both Families, Now Regrets Ruining Their Marriages
not the actual photo

'AITA for ruining both my parents marriages for disowning me?'

I am the by-product of my parents extra-marital affair. Both of them had spouses at the time.

My birth-mother got pregnant and had to tell her husband

as he was overseas when I was conceived so there was no way I was his.

A few months after I was born they decided not to divorce.

I was given to my grandparents on my mothers side to raise

with my birth father secretly paying child support without his wife's knowledge.

Both my parents had other children, my dad's side knows nothing about me

but my siblings on my mum's side were told that I am adopted by my grandparents.

Recently I decided that I wanted to know more about my dad's family

and I sent a friend's request to one of my siblings and my dad so I could get to know him.

Well he freaked out and contacted my birth mum and they asked to speak to me over Skype.

They both told me that they couldnt risk staying in contact with me and told me

that they were going no-contact and to please respect it and move on with my life.

Well I did pretty much the opposite. I contacted my dad's wife

and shared screen shots of our conversations and told her everything.

She is now divorcing him while on my mother's side I told both my siblings

who then went on to tell extended family including her husband's side

so now they are seperated and my siblings hate my mother.

Currently my siblings on both sides lives have been upturned and after the satisfaction has worn off,

I feel like I unnecessarily hurt them through my parents. AITA for ruining my parents marriages?

In this story, the individual finds themselves at the center of a web of family secrets, and their decision to reveal hidden truths has led to the collapse of two marriages. The emotional fallout is significant, with their parents’ marriages ending and family relationships strained.

The situation brings to light a critical issue: when should truth be disclosed, and what are the consequences of that disclosure for everyone involved?

From a psychological standpoint, the need for self‑understanding and connection with one’s biological roots is a deeply human drive.

Research on identity development shows that individuals, particularly those with complicated family histories, often seek out their biological parents or relatives as part of their personal growth and to better understand who they are.

This search is especially common among those born from affairs or in situations where parentage is not publicly known.

Studies have found that adoptees, for example, often feel a strong desire to know their birth parents, and this search for identity can play a crucial role in healing.

However, disclosure of family secrets, particularly when those secrets involve infidelity or concealed parentage, can have devastating consequences. While disclosing a truth can lead to relief and emotional authenticity for the person revealing it, the emotional impact on others is significant.

According to psychological research, when family members discover secrets that were previously hidden from them, the resulting distress can lead to broken relationships, feelings of betrayal, and long‑term emotional harm. This is particularly true when the revelation shatters established family structures.

In this case, the individual’s decision to contact their father’s wife and share screenshots of their conversations resulted in the dissolution of their parents’ marriages.

Although the disclosure of the truth may have felt empowering to the person revealing it, the damage to family dynamics was immediate and irreversible.

While the person may have felt justified in their actions, given the secrecy surrounding their birth and the emotional weight they carried, the emotional cost to the other family members was high.

Psychologically, the person’s actions were rooted in the need for validation and identity, but the decision also triggered the collapse of families that were built on a foundation of secrecy.

The research shows that when truths are revealed, especially about infidelity or hidden children, it often leads to estrangement and long‑term emotional damage for everyone involved.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These Redditors defend the OP, emphasizing that exposing their parents’ lies was a justified act

Barrel-Of-Tigers − NTA You didn’t ruin anything - they did.

Your birth parents have been and continued to be completely selfish arseholes,

and everyone deserved to see who they really were.

The only people who upended anyone’s lives are your parents. You did not deserve to be told to go away or hidden.

Keanucordonbleu − NTA your parents are f__king selfish.

So many other options for them instead of just pretending like you don’t exist.

If you don’t want your spouse to find out you cheated, how about not ducking cheating.

All you wanted was a little contact with family. They rejected you.

Well they don’t get to choose whether your half sisters and brothers want to know you or not.

Maybe sharing screenshots was not the right way to go but honesty,

if you keep such a huge secret from your spouse, you deserve to get found out eventually.

agirlhasnoscreenname − You’re NTA here. Your parents couldn’t have expected to hide a living,

breathing human being forever. This is their lie and their problem.

You were born into inauspicious circumstances but you didn’t choose who your parents were.

You don’t deserve to live hidden away for the rest of your life.

Try and be supportive of your siblings on both sides, but embrace being out in the open.

Take this opportunity to learn about your relatives on a deeper level (while also respecting their boundaries when asked).

Forget your parents, they were never worth knowing to begin with.

But see if you can build new friendships and relationships with your siblings, who are also victims of your parents’ lies.

EDIT: Saw in the comments that you’re 17. This is a lot for anyone, much less a teenager to go through.

Talk to your grandparents about therapy in the future, and best of luck to you.

This group focuses on the idea that the parents’ actions of cheating and hiding the OP’s existence are the real cause of the fallout

outtodryclt − NTA. It's really s__tty that they would try to deprive you of having literally any family

besides your grandparents so that they can cover up their bad behavior. I don't blame you for what you did.

You're definitely going to have to deal with the fallout, but at least you can now have a relationship with your siblings.

mowermachine − They were expecting you to actively participate in erasing your own existence from their world.

They basically wanted you to not exist. Of course you got angry and wanted to hurt them.

So the fact that you wanted to punish them is...well, I won’t go so far as to call it assholish,

but the fact that you feel like a schmuck for deliberately kicking the keystone pebble

that led to this particular landslide tells me that you are a decent person

that doesn’t like to see other people in pain as a direct result of events you played a minor part in engineering.

But please remember that the people who set up this whole situation made it so, so easy for you to trigger that landslide.

All you had to do was publicly exist at them.

Sure, you were pissed, but literally the only thing you did was say “Hey! I exist!”

And if all you have to do is breath and exist to blow up someone’s tower of lies. ..then you are so NTA.

KjellRS − NTA for ruining their marriages, they did that by cheating.

Sure exposing a cheater's cheating will hurt the family that's being cheated on,

but in my opinion that's never an a__hole thing to do even if it's now in the distant past.

You didn't make them cheaters, you just exposed them for what they were.

These users acknowledge that the OP’s actions may have caused harm

Rellax_ − I dont have a coherent answer. But I will say this, lies almost certainly eventually unfold.

For 17 years they did not own up to their mistake; they literally passed it over to someone else.

Well, that mistake has asked to be recognized, they thought they could just brush it off like they did,

so they faced the consequences from the worst perspective.

They could've tried and make it right opening things up slowly and carefully,

but I guess they got what they deserve. Props on the balls, karma is a b__ch.

SamwisethePoopyButt − NTA. The effects of your actions did worsen the lives for a lot of people,

but I blame you as much as I would blame a force of nature.

They were really stupid if they thought they could keep a lid on this.

I wonder after how many years they got cocky enough to believe they deserved the comfortable life they had.

Sucks for your half siblings, but if you can build/maintain a relationship with them, that would be the best possible outcome.

Harra86 − NTA. They thought they could hide you from their families and the world. Not cool.

They had you but didn’t want to be your parents.

You have a lot of questions and wanted to get to know them and their response was that

they didn’t want their families finding out and for you to move on. That is a lot for a teenager to process.

You had every right to expose them to their spouses.

Just be sensitive to your siblings on both sides in regards to this situation.

probably_your_wife − NTA Ever heard the phrase, "the body would eventually float to the surface anyways"?

You just jarred it from the muddy bottom.

DeeLite04 − NTA - you didn’t ask to be conceived or born and wanting to find bio family members is natural

(I’m also adopted). That he tried to hide it for so long is indicative of the kind of terrible husband and father he is.

I’m really sorry they’re trying to make it seem like your fault when it is not.

I get your siblings are bitter about how you outted him, but I think cheaters need to be exposed before they hurt more people.

Because he wasn’t just lying about the affair but about a human being’s existence and that’s horribly wrong.

One Redditor claomed everyone was wrong

[Reddit User] − I'm gonna go against the grain and say ESH.

Your parents for obvious reasons, and you for intentionally ruining someone's life for your own satisfaction.

Did you have a reason for it? Sure. But being a vengeful a__hole is still being a vengeful a__hole.

Note, I'm not saying that you're a bad person by any means, most people including myself

probably understand why you'd do what you did. But I do think you're a bit of a d__k for intentionally doing it.

Now, if it had happened accidentally for example

because your father's wife had accidentally seen the message on your dad's phone,

that wouldn't have been explicitly your fault, and you would not be an a__hole here,

but purposely doing this is a different matter.

Edit: Because people somehow have trouble reading it, here's a clarification:

MALICIOUS, VENGEFUL = A__HOLE NOT MALICIOUS, ACCIDENTAL = NOT A__HOLE

Motivations matter, people. Unlike legal matters, intentions are important when judging whether a behaviour is assholish.

E2: Enjoyed the discussion, at least with the civil fellows,

but I'm a tad o__rwhelmed with the sheer amount of replies, so gonna just go sleep.

Everyone remember that it's fine to have differing opinions here, and have a nice day :)

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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