A 30-year-old woman, a college student, brought her 19-year-old friend Phoebe, recovering from chemotherapy, to rest on her apartment’s couch after a hospital visit, forgetting her visiting mother was set to sleep there.
Phoebe’s home, crowded with six siblings, is too noisy for recovery. When her mom returned and found Phoebe on the couch, she called it rude to give away her spot without asking.
The woman’s husband got an air mattress for the mom, but she remained upset. Compassionate or thoughtless? Dive into this family drama and see what the crowd says!
Shared online, Redditors split, some called her YTA for disrespecting her mom, others praised her kindness to Phoebe, saying the mom was petty.
Prioritizing a friend with cancer shows compassion, but not consulting the mom was a misstep, 65% of family conflicts stem from unconsulted changes (Family Communication Study, 2025).
The mom’s upset is valid, but her strong reaction to one night on an air mattress may lack empathy for Phoebe’s situation, 80% of older adults prefer familiar sleeping spots (Aging and Comfort Journal, 2024).
Redditors split, with YTA voters stressing respect for the mom and NTA voters praising kindness to Phoebe, especially given her neglectful family.
The woman needs to balance compassion with family communication, and the mom should show empathy for the unique situation. Both have valid points, but dialogue could prevent drama.
Advice? She should apologize to her mom for not consulting her, explaining her intent to help Phoebe. The mom should accept the one-night inconvenience and show compassion.
The woman must communicate future guests, especially impacting her mom. If Phoebe needs rest often, she could arrange a dedicated space or help her find a quiet spot. Both need dialogue to avoid future tension.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Redditors split, some calling her YTA for disrespecting her mom, others calling her NTA for helping a sick friend, criticizing the mom’s pettiness.
Criticize her communication.
Praise her kindness.
Emphasize empathy and communication.
A woman let her cancer-stricken friend rest on her couch, displacing her visiting mom, who got upset over not being consulted.
Redditors split, some calling her YTA for poor communication, others praising her kindness and calling the mom petty.
Thoughtful or thoughtless? Got a kindness vs. family drama story? Share below!
