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Woman Refuses To Drive Her Drunk Friends Home Anymore After Years Of Being Used As Free Taxi

by Jeffrey Stone
December 25, 2025
in Social Issues

A woman in her mid-thirties joined her college friends for monthly dinners, sticking to water and a main dish while the others piled on appetizers, desserts, and heavy drinks. After months of quietly covering their extra costs, she finally refused to subsidize the group anymore, bringing exact cash and drawing a firm line on the bill.

The friends grudgingly accepted but declared her the permanent driver since she stayed sober, a role she tolerated until one nearly vomited in her car. She warned them she was done chauffeuring, yet they ignored her, got wildly intoxicated again, failed to pay their own tabs, and left her to exit alone amid the mess.

A woman stops subsidizing and driving her heavy-drinking friends, leading to their angry fallout and her questioning the friendship.

Woman Refuses To Drive Her Drunk Friends Home Anymore After Years Of Being Used As Free Taxi
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for refusing to DD anymore and leaving three drunk friends stranded?'

I (F) have 3 friends from college, Maisy, Tom, and Neela. We're all mid-30s now.

We usually get together once a month to have dinner despite work and family obligations (virtually during the global event).

Six months ago, I had to stand up to everyone about splitting the bill evenly because everyone else orders and eats appetizers and desserts,

and everyone else drink copious amounts of alcohol every time we get together.

I typically eat a main and drink water. I started checking menus in advance and only bringing enough cash to cover my bill plus tip

and would "forget" my card at home and eventually sternly told them

that I was no longer willing to pay an additional $50-$100 every time we went out to cover their appetizers, desserts, and drinking habits.

Well, they all decided because I wasn't drinking anything but water, I should be the DD,

which I initially agreed to because I was just happy that they eventually stopped arguing with me about splitting the bill.

But at the time I told them firmly if any of them ever threw up in my car, that would be the end of it.

Last month, Tom nearly threw up in my car. The only reason he didn't is because I pulled over and pulled him out of the car and onto the pavement...

I sent a group text the next morning stating that I was no longer going to DD, and everyone complained that Tom only ALMOST threw up in my car.

I again refused and told them that next month, they either had to limit their drinking so they could drive, or they had to find their own ride.

Last weekend, I reminded everyone I wasn't driving anyone home. No one limited their intake at ALL,

and by the end of the night, they were too drunk to even handle paying their bill.

I went up and asked for my bill separately, paid, and walked out without saying goodbye.

Tom's wife had to have her mother watch their two kids while she had to come down, cover their bills,

and give Maisy and Neela rides home - and Tom and Maisy both threw up in her car.

I was getting hateful calls and texts all week telling me I had to pay to have Tom's wife's car cleaned and pay his MIL for watching the kids.

Maisy and Neela have been calling me all kinds of names for abandoning them,

but I snapped that they were all three sheets to the wind even after being told last month I wasn't driving them anymore.

Tom eventually called to yell at me that if I didn't split the bill, and if I didn't DD, then what use was I?

I asked if that was how he treated his wife, Maisy, or Neela, if they were only allowed to be around if they were "useful",

because here I thought we were all just enjoying one another's company, since I certainly wasn't gaining anything usefu

l from them spending hundreds of dollars funding their eating and drinking habits and then wasting my gas to drive their drunk arses home.

I was blocked and none of them will speak to me now, and I just need to know if I'm the AH here.

Edit: I used to drink heavily, too. I had to quit for an unrelated medical reason.

Meeting the same old crew month after month can feel comforting—until you realize the comfort is mostly one-sided. In this case, the Redditor set two very reasonable boundaries: I won’t bankroll your feast, and I won’t risk my car or my sanity ferrying blackout-level drunks.

Yet the group treated those boundaries like polite suggestions rather than deal-breakers. The irony? They’re adults in their thirties with jobs, spouses, kids, yet somehow unable (or unwilling) to moderate their drinking, call a rideshare, or even settle their own checks.

From the outside, it’s hard not to see a classic case of entitlement masquerading as tradition. The group had grown accustomed to a dynamic where one person quietly absorbed the extra costs so everyone else could party like it was still freshman year.

When that one person said “enough,” the backlash was swift and revealing. Instead of accountability: “Sorry we overdid it, let’s Uber next time”, the response was deflection, name-calling, and an ultimatum-level question about her “usefulness.” Again, keep in mind, these come from adults in their thirties.

That single line: “If you don’t split the bill and you don’t DD, then what use are you?” pretty much sums up the relationship’s foundation. Friendship? Or convenience? You tell.

This pattern isn’t rare. According to a 2022 survey by OnePoll, commissioned by McGuigan Zero, three in 10 adults feel pressured to drink alcohol when socialising, and many feel obligated to accommodate heavy drinkers to preserve relationships.

But experts emphasize that healthy friendships don’t revolve around one person’s constant sacrifice. As psychologist Jill Weber noted in a Business Insider article on one-sided friendships: “Pay attention if you feel ‘you’re always doing something for someone else, whether it’s listening or helping them out.’”

That hits close to home here. The Redditor wasn’t asking for special treatment; she was asking for basic fairness. When denied, she protected her own well-being instead of caving.

The broader issue? Many long-term friend groups coast on old habits that no longer fit who people have become. Life changes and friendships either evolve or quietly end.

In this story, the group chose not to evolve. They doubled down, got messier, and then blamed the one person who wouldn’t enable it.

Neutral advice for anyone in a similar spot: state your boundaries clearly once, enforce them calmly, and let natural consequences teach the lesson you’ve been trying to give. If the friendship survives, great. If not, you’ve likely dodged years more of one-sided “fun.”

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some people assert that these people were never true friends and were only using OP for convenience.

Electronic_Fox_6383 − You're NTA, but they stopped being your friends a long time ago. Time to wake up to reality.

Party-Walk-3020 − NTA. You are not their friend, you were there only because they could take advantage of you.

Well done for standing up for yourself. You will need to find a new friend group though.

HappySummerBreeze − NTA you’ve just realized that they didn’t actually like you all that much -

and by their description you probably shouldn’t like them either. They are users.

Some people emphasize that the friends are irresponsible drinkers who refuse to take accountability.

_mmiggs_ − NTA Your friends want to behave like drunken college students on your monthly get-togethers.

I'm not going to blame them for wanting this - that's the way they choose to enjoy a night out. But they have to own all the consequences,

and not try to export the costs of their bacchanalia to you (or to anyone else).

It's normal enough for a friend who doesn't drink to drive the friends who do,

but this kindness comes with obligations on the drinking friends to be courteous passengers, which means not getting in such a state that they are likely to throw up.

And last weekend? Your drunken friends think that somehow you need to pay for Tom's wife's car to be cleaned,

because you wouldn't let them vomit in your car? Umm, no.

The people who owe for the car cleaning are the people who vomited in it. These people aren't your friends.

It's not clear to me whether they ever liked you, but it's clear that they no longer do, and are just exploiting you.

TauriSuzy − NTA You're all in your thirties, and your friends are unable to regulate their drinking. Do they not know how to call a taxi?

You set reasonable boundaries with them, and they kept trying to disregard them.

Also, you're their friend, not their mother. You shouldn't have to feel responsible for how they get home.

This may need to be a discussion with the group while you are all sober and explain why you have placed these boundaries.

If they push back, it may be a good idea to put some distance between you all for a while.

WebAcceptable7932 − NTA you warned them multiple times you weren’t going to DD.

They are the ones who are AHs who can’t limit their alcohol intake. They thought you were bluffing about not being DD.

FAFO on their end. On side not I’d probably stop hanging out with these people they sound like selfish drunken AHs.

Others point out the toxic dynamic and advise moving on from these exploitative people.

[Reddit User] − "Tom eventually called to yell at me that if I didn't split the bill, and if I didn't DD, then what use was I?"

Yea, these people are not your friends. Sounds to me like you guys had a relationship based around drinking heavily.

Now that you don't drink and won't be their DD (and won't pay for their meals), they have no use for you. They sound like s__tty people anyways.

Who gets so obliterated drunk at a restaurant that they're too incoherent to pay the bill and then puke in the car? Move on from these people. NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA. And these people are not your friends.

catskilkid − NTA confused about one thing... You call them friends... WHY?

They are in their 30's and get so drunk that every time there is a serious chance that vomiting in the car is not a joke but a REAL poss/prob...

The thought that they were trying to force you to split the bill to cover their food is bad, but the alcohol part is outrageous.

The fact that you had to do it and they fought you on this is crazy (again you call them "friends"?).

The last time the conditions were clear, and they either did not care or they are alcoholics and are in need of treatment.

The ramifications of that night should teach them a lesson, but as expected the "friends" are leaving out a lot of history

so they can save face with their family. You need friends, these are not even replicants of friends.

A user questions why the friends don’t use ride-sharing services and highlight their entitlement.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Why don’t they just taxi/Lyft/Uber?

So here’s the million-dollar question: was walking away the nuclear option, or the only sane move left? Do you think the Redditor should’ve given one more warning, or was the writing already on the wall after months of subtle (and not-so-subtle) exploitation?

Have you ever had to cut ties with a group that only valued what you could provide? Drop your thoughts below, we’re dying to hear how you’d handle this mess.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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