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Young Man Celebrates With Friends After Ex’s Miscarriage Ends Unwanted Pregnancy Plans

by Jeffrey Stone
December 23, 2025
in Social Issues

A young man in his mid-20s, after a brief casual relationship, learned his partner was unexpectedly pregnant despite precautions. He made his stance clear immediately. He had zero interest in becoming a father and urged her toward termination, warning he’d step away entirely if she continued.

She chose to keep it anyway, though both struggled financially. Contact ended, but at four months, she suffered a devastating miscarriage that left her heartbroken. He felt profound relief at dodging lifelong responsibility, gathering buddies for drinks and toasts to his narrow escape. Word spread fast, sparking outrage from her circle, who accused him of callously celebrating her profound loss and pain.

A young man’s public celebration of relief after his ex’s miscarriage divides opinions on sensitivity and responsibility.

Young Man Celebrates With Friends After Ex's Miscarriage Ends Unwanted Pregnancy Plans
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for being happy I won't be a father?'

I (24m) casually dated a girl (23f) for like 5 months and even though she was on birth control she ended up pregnant.

Now I have no desire to be a father so I asked her to have a a__rtion and told her if she did not,

I would not be around during the pregnancy and would want to do a DNA test after the birth before I would contribute anything at all.

Well she decided to keep the baby for some reason even though neither of us were in the financial position to take care of it anyway.

I was very annoyed with this and broke off contact.

At 4 months she had a miscarriage. I was informed about it by her friend and was told she was heartbroken.

Now I have empathy for the physical pain she has to go through but the result was very beneficial to me and honestly I was quite happy I no longer...

Me and my buddies went out drinking to celebrate, did some toast to the fact that I would not have to father

and basically word got around that we had done that which eventually reached my ex and her friends.

Now she and her friends have been harassing me (and my friends) for being happy about her miscarriage.

However as I see it we did not specifically celebrate her miscarriage but the fact that I was not gonna be forced to be a father

and I feel like it’s something that has nothing to do with her really. So reddit, Am I the a__hole?

Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy can feel like walking a tightrope, emotions pulling in every direction. But when it ends unexpectedly? That’s a whole other story. It is a heartbreaking experience, yet for this Redditor, it could be safe to assume that he found it ‘bittersweet’.

In this case, the young man was open about not wanting to become a father, suggesting options and setting boundaries early on. When the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage around four months, he felt a huge sense of relief and even celebrated privately with friends. His ex, however, was devastated by the loss, leading to backlash when news of the celebration reached her circle.

On one hand, feeling relieved after dodging an unwanted life change is understandable. Parenthood is a massive commitment, especially when neither party felt ready financially or emotionally. Experts note that in unwanted pregnancies, partners can experience a mix of emotions, including relief when the situation resolves without ongoing responsibility.

Yet, the way that relief was expressed struck many as insensitive, coming across as dismissing the physical and emotional toll on his ex. Miscarriages are common, affecting 10-15% of known pregnancies according to the World Health Organization, and they can bring profound grief, even in unplanned situations.

Psychologist Irving G. Leon, specializing in reproductive loss, points out key differences in how partners process these events: “Men don’t grieve in that they don’t feel the failure of their body. Women’s grief is more intense and self-blaming.” This highlights why one person’s relief might clash painfully with another’s sorrow.

Another layer: contraceptive responsibility. Many commenters stressed that preventing pregnancy is a team effort. While birth control was in use, relying solely on one method and one partner carries risks. Men can contribute through consistent condom use or other steps, reducing burdens and surprises for both sides.

Broadening out, this touches on bigger conversations around reproductive choices, empathy in breakups, and how society handles mismatched feelings about pregnancy.

Neutral advice? Private reflection on personal emotions is valid, but consider the impact on others involved. Open communication early, mutual respect for differing grief, and perhaps professional counseling can help navigate these sensitive waters.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Some people judge OP as YTA for publicly celebrating the miscarriage, calling it insensitive and lacking empathy.

BookDragon1108 − YTA not for not wanting to be a father, but for actively and publicly celebrating your ex having a miscarriage.

You don’t have empathy for this woman or you would have privately got together with your friends to drink and “raise a toast”.

You’re literally celebrating her child dying and that you now don’t have to take responsibility.

Your ex is mourning a baby she wanted. A child that was growing inside her that she loved and you went out and celebrated the death of said baby.

Grow up, and go get a vasectomy if you don’t want to have children and can’t be bothered to care for your part in impregnating someone.

She didn’t “end up pregnant”. You had s__ and that is the natural outcome of having s__.

CriticalSimple3122 − She ended up pregnant? What? You had nothing to do with it?

If you don't want to be a father, either double up on contraception (and if you claim to be casually dating, condoms are a great idea) or get a vasectomy.

Toasting a miscarriage is a d__k move. Particularly if you were loud enough about it that word has spread about what you did to people who weren't there.

The good thing is, people who know you in real life now know what you're like and can avoid you like the plague. Yes, YTA

judgingA-holes − You get two judgements from me... N T A - For being happy about the fact that you're not going to be a father.

You weren't ready for the responsibility, didn't want the responsibility, and weren't in the financial position to become a father.

Y T A - For how you went about showing that happiness. Now, if you were to have celebrated at home and took a shot with your friend "Here's to...

But the fact is that you went out in public and toasted to the fact that this girl is dealing with a miscarriage, and that my friend is just in...

Some people strongly recommend OP get a vasectomy and take responsibility for birth control.

Lissa2j − If you don't want to be a father then get a vasectomy or wear condoms. You need to become responsible for your own birth control sir

Raging_Clue916 − If you never want to be a father do women a favor and get a vasectomy. Also even if she's on birth control wear a condom.

YTA for celebrating a miscarriage. No matter how you justify it, that's what you did.

Demanding an a__rtion while never having to deal with it yourself is also disgusting. Get snipped.

Ok_Stable7501 − If you get a vasectomy, the entire internet will raise a glass. But YTA.

Some people view OP as an AH overall, with some acknowledging relief but criticizing insensitivity and irresponsibility.

Illustrious-Insect41 − Both NTA and YA NTA- because that is a big relief and a huge burden off your plate.

YTA - because even though you know you don’t want kids you left it completely up to her to be in charge of birth control methods.

If you don’t want a child it’s as much of your responsibility to prevent one as it is hers.

Also the celebrating in a bar is extremely insensitive. How many toasts did you do?

[Reddit User] − You are an a__hole but you seem the type who doesn’t care about other people so kinda weird to ask people their opinion on it.

Ok-Grocery-5747 − YTA. You don't celebrate the loss of a baby. 4 months is a traumatic miscarriage. You should be ashamed of yourself.

stdnormaldeviant − LOL sounds like you were an a__hole beforehand, so the good news is that nothing's changed.

This Redditor’s rollercoaster reminds us how life can flip scripts in an instant, blending relief for one with deep loss for another. Public celebrations of private outcomes can stir up hurt, even if intentions differ.

Do you think feeling happy about avoiding unwanted parenthood is fair, or does the miscarriage’s pain make any celebration too soon? How would you handle mismatched emotions in a similar spot? Drop your thoughts below, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 2/4 votes | 50%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 2/4 votes | 50%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/4 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/4 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/4 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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