At 19, OP, a student paying her own rent, faces demands from her 25-year-old boyfriend to do his housework since he works full-time and she doesn’t.
Living in separate homes, she refuses, arguing she’s not his maid and he’s not her “breadwinner.” He insists it’s unfair, sparking tension in their five-month relationship.
This story questions equality and boundaries in relationships. Is OP wrong for refusing? Let’s dive into the details and see what the online community thinks.











This story reveals an unfair expectation and potential control issues in a young relationship. The boyfriend’s demand for OP to do his housework, despite separate households, reflects outdated gender roles and an attempt to leverage her time.
Relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and equitable responsibility, not imposed roles based on financial status” (The Gottman Institute).
OP’s refusal is justified, as she has no obligation to clean for him, especially as a self-sufficient student. The boyfriend’s “breadwinner” claim is baseless and a red flag for controlling behavior.
OP should consider discussing clear boundaries and evaluating if this relationship aligns with her long-term goals, particularly given the age gap and warning signs.
This case underscores the importance of equality and autonomy in relationships, especially early on.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Reddit overwhelmingly supports OP, calling her boyfriend’s demands absurd and warning of controlling tendencies. Many urge her to end the relationship. Here’s a roundup of reactions.
Many flagged the boyfriend’s behavior as problematic.
![Boyfriend Demands Housework From His Teen Girlfriend, Reddit Says "Run!" [Reddit User] − HUGE red flags OP! This is NOT a normal request at all!](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/wp-editor-1758614251829-11.webp)










Some emphasized OP’s lack of obligation.















A few advised reevaluating the relationship.
















OP is entirely justified in refusing to do her boyfriend’s housework, especially since they live separately and she’s financially independent. Reddit agrees his demands are outrageous and reveal controlling tendencies, urging OP to reconsider the relationship.
How can OP set firmer boundaries? Have you faced unfair expectations in a relationship? Share your stories!





