Siblings often test each other’s limits, but some lessons can’t be taught through sharing alone. One woman thought she’d grown used to her little sister’s habit of treating her things like community property until it started ruining special moments.
After discovering that her 13-year-old sister had opened one of her birthday gifts and used it before she did, she decided enough was enough. But when she tried to stand her ground, her family accused her of being harsh and unkind. Reddit, of course, had a lot to say about that.
Let’s check the story now:
Setting boundaries with siblings is an essential part of fostering respect and healthy relationships, especially as children enter adolescence.
Experts in child development emphasize that teaching children to respect other people’s belongings helps them develop empathy, self-control, and social responsibility (American Academy of Pediatrics: Sibling Relationships).
In this scenario, the 13-year-old repeatedly accessed her older sister’s personal items without permission, including a birthday gift, which represents a clear violation of boundaries.
Allowing this behavior to continue unchallenged can create a pattern of entitlement that may affect her interactions with peers and family members.
Adolescence is the period when children are developing a sense of personal autonomy and learning the consequences of their actions.
Parents and older siblings can model respectful behavior by setting clear limits on borrowing and usage, as well as by explaining the reasons behind these rules.
According to parenting specialists, it is appropriate for older siblings to assert their boundaries firmly, while simultaneously teaching the younger child about respect, negotiation, and fairness (Child Mind Institute).
In this case, the older sister’s response, directly addressing the unauthorized use of her gift, aligns with this guidance, as it communicates ownership and accountability.
It is also important for parents or guardians to reinforce these lessons consistently. If the younger sibling’s mother promotes a “everything belongs to siblings” philosophy, this can undermine boundary-setting and lead to conflict.
Experts suggest that parents should clarify exceptions and explain why certain personal items are off-limits, encouraging the child to ask before taking or using something that isn’t theirs.
This ensures that boundaries are understood and respected, rather than ignored (Verywell Family).
These are the responses from Reddit users:
These Redditors criticized the parents for poor discipline
This group argued that boundaries mean nothing if the parents don’t enforce them
These commenters agreed the OP was right to be firm
But what’s your take? Was OP right to draw the line and finally say “enough,” or should she have been gentler given her sister’s age?
Have you ever had to set a boundary that your own family refused to respect? Drop your thoughts below!
