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Boyfriend Refuses to Watch Girlfriend’s Dogs for a Week, Calls It a “Boundary”

by Sunny Nguyen
December 19, 2025
in Social Issues

Relationship favors often reveal more than arguments ever could. In this Reddit story, a simple request about dog sitting turned into a much bigger conversation about effort, boundaries, and what partners owe each other.

Boyfriend Refuses to Watch Girlfriend’s Dogs for a Week, Calls It a “Boundary”
Not the actual photo

Here’s The Original Post:

'AITA? Girlfriend(19) asked me to watch her dogs for a week/twice daily and I said no, then asked me again and gave me a bunch of reasons why I should...

My girlfriend, Sally(19F) and I (20M) been dating for a year.

She’s going away for a week on vacation and needs someone to watch her dogs and asked me if I could dog sit them while she’s away.

I said no because I live 20 mins away and didn’t want the responsibility of driving over twice daily.

A few days later and now she sent me a stream of texts asking again

if I could watch them saying she’ll pay me whatever I want (I wouldn’t accept the money from her and she probably knows this)

and that I’m not working or going to school so I have the time. I did recently graduate and currently job searching.

On one hand, she’s right, I do have the time which makes me feel guilty. On the other hand, she didn’t respect my boundary. Am I the a__hole for saying...

The Situation

A 20-year-old man had been dating his 19-year-old girlfriend, Sally, for about a year. Sally was planning to go on vacation for a week and needed someone to take care of her dogs. She asked her boyfriend if he could help by visiting her home twice a day to feed and check on them.

He declined.

His reason was simple. He lived about 20 minutes away and did not want the responsibility of driving back and forth twice daily. At the time, he had recently graduated and was not working or attending school while job searching.

A few days later, Sally asked again. This time, she sent multiple messages explaining why she felt he should reconsider.

She pointed out that he had the time, offered to pay him whatever he wanted, and stressed how much she needed the help. He still felt uncomfortable, not because of money, but because he felt she was ignoring his initial refusal.

That left him feeling torn. On one hand, he admitted she was right that he had free time. On the other hand, he felt pressured and believed his boundary was not being respected. Unsure if he was being unreasonable, he turned to Reddit and asked if he was in the wrong.

The “Boundary” Debate

A major theme in the comments was the use of the word “boundary.” Many Redditors felt the term was being misused. They argued that saying no to helping a partner does not automatically make it a boundary, especially when the request is reasonable and temporary.

Some commenters flipped the idea around. They suggested that Sally’s real boundary might be realizing she did not want to stay in a relationship with someone she could not rely on when she needed help.

What This Situation Really Shows

At its core, this story was not about dog sitting. It was about expectations in a relationship.

Many Reddit users pointed out that relationships are built on mutual support.

While no one is obligated to say yes to everything, consistently refusing to help when it is easy to do so can signal a lack of care.

Small acts, like helping with pets during a vacation, often act as tests of compatibility rather than chores.

The consensus was that while the boyfriend had the right to say no, that choice still came with consequences. In this case, those consequences might include damaging trust or even ending the relationship.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users argued that this was not really about boundaries at all.

Worldsgreatestfrog − YTA, except I don’t think it’s really “a__hole”. You are not worth bothering with.

Were I your girlfriend, I would figure that you had shown me the worth of our relationship (very low), OR you really hate dogs.

If you hate dogs, a person with two of them shouldn’t be with you. If you value your relationship this little, you shouldn’t be with that person.

SirMittensOfTheHill − YTA. Just go ahead and break up with her already, because it's obvious you'll never be there for her, since you refuse to help her out now even...

prairieislander − INFO: is there any reason why you can’t just stay at her place for the week and eliminate the driving back and forth if that’s the issue?

Several commenters questioned whether he truly valued his girlfriend.

sweetbutcanbesorry − YTA, you guys have been together for a year, and you're unwilling to watch her dogs? ! Do you even like your girlfriend?

[Reddit User] − Gotta love (read: hate) the weaponization of the word “boundary” to excuse discourtesy.

Do you have the right to say no when your long-term girlfriend asks you to do a simple favor that will cause you at most slight inconvenience?

Of course you do. Does it make you an a__hole? Yup. YTA. You have shown your girlfriend how little you care about her.

slap-a-frap − YTA - so much for a partnership. Maybe she'll meet someone who is able to step up and show some support while on vacation.

It's not like she's asking you to do it forever. It's just a week. The same week where you have nothing but time. .

Others emphasized that Sally had offered compromises.

luffy8519 − YTA. Refusing to do a favour for your partner isn't a 'boundary', it's just being unhelpful.

A couple of hours a day for a week is not a lot to ask of a partner that you've been dating for a year, especially when they're not working.

superflex − So basically you're telling your partner that you're simply too lazy to be bothered with the responsibility of helping her out.

YTA, but at least you're doing her the favor of letting her know how important this relationship is to you.

DJfromNL − YTA. And I’m stunned that so many people here think that it’s perfectly OK not to help out your own long term partner when they ask you for...

A_Mild_Failure − INFO: Are you going to be understanding when she realizes she can't rely on you when she needs help and rightfully breaks up with you over it?

[Reddit User] − On the other hand, she didn’t respect my boundary. What boundary? This isn’t a boundary, it’s just you saying no to a request.

A boundary would be your girlfriend saying “I won’t remain in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to help me with a simple task when he easily has the...

You could very easily help your girlfriend, and she’s even offered to give you money which would cover any gas costs.

Affectionate_Shoe198 − “I’m not watching your dog on vacation because I don’t want to go to your house twice a day because I’m lazy” is not a boundary. It’s an...

deejustsayin − Don’t expect to have a girlfriend when she gets back.

Effective-Slice-4819 − Your "boundary" is that you won't help her just because you don't want to. Enjoy being single. YTA.

SonuvaGunderson − INFO: When you use the word “boundary,” what does that mean exactly?

Is the boundary that you’ll never watch a partner’s pets or that you’ll never drive 20 minutes to help them out?

Final Takeaway

Reddit largely agreed that the boyfriend was not wrong for having preferences, but he was wrong for framing the situation as a violated boundary. To many, his refusal showed a lack of effort and maturity rather than self-respect.

In relationships, it is not just about what someone is allowed to refuse. It is also about what that refusal communicates. And in this case, Reddit believed it communicated loud and clear.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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