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He’s Been Taking Dating Advice From His Coworker, Then Found Out It’s About the Coworker’s Daughter

by CTV4
April 23, 2026
in Social Issues

Some situations feel like they belong in a sitcom. This one doesn’t.

An 18-year-old restaurant manager thought he had two separate parts of his life running smoothly.

At work, he had a friendly, older coworker who gave him solid advice. Outside of work, he’d been talking to a girl he really liked for about six months.

Then the two worlds collided in the most awkward way possible.

The coworker giving him relationship advice turned out to be her dad.

And now he’s stuck wondering whether keeping that secret makes him disloyal, or telling the truth makes everything worse.

He’s Been Taking Dating Advice From His Coworker, Then Found Out It’s About the Coworker’s Daughter
Not the actual photo

Here’s the original post:

'WIBTAH For not telling my coworker about me and his daughter?'

I (18 m) am a manager at a local restaurant I've been working at for a couple years.

I have also been talking to a girl (20 f) that I really like for about 6 months now.

Around the time we started talking an older guy Dave (42-45ish) starting working at my job.

Everything was going well. Dave was nice to work with and actually gave me some solid advice about the girl that I was talking to.

At some point he mentioned that his daughter had the same name but I didn't think anything of it because it's a pretty common name.

Once I told the girl where I work she started acting really weird until she told me that her dad also worked there and I found out it was Dave.

At first I was panicking because I was unknowingly telling Dave my thoughts, worries, and feelings about his daughter.

She doesn't want me to tell him because it would "break his heart" and he would probably try to quit even though he needs the second job badly

I want to bring it up to him somehow but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. A couple of my friends told me I shouldn't and it would...

I really conflicted. We've gotten pretty close over the past 6 months and I feel kind I'm betraying him no matter what I do.

A Coincidence That Didn’t Feel Like One at First

It started off innocent enough.

He’d been seeing this girl for months, getting to know her, building something that felt real. Around the same time, an older guy named Dave joined the restaurant where he worked.

They got along well. Dave was easy to talk to, supportive, and even offered thoughtful advice about his dating life.

At one point, Dave casually mentioned he had a daughter with the same name as the girl he was seeing.

It didn’t raise alarms.

The name was common. It felt like nothing more than a coincidence.

Until it wasn’t.

The Moment Everything Clicked

Eventually, he told the girl where he worked.

Her reaction changed immediately.

She got weird. Hesitant. Off.

And then she told him the truth.

Her dad worked there too.

Dave.

Suddenly, every conversation he’d had with his coworker replayed in his head. All the times he’d shared thoughts about her. His feelings, his worries, his questions about the relationship.

Without realizing it, he’d been opening up to her father.

It wasn’t just awkward. It felt like a breach of trust, even though none of it had been intentional.

The Request That Made It Harder

Once the truth was out, he assumed the next step was obvious. Tell Dave.

Clear the air. Explain the coincidence. Move forward honestly.

But the girl didn’t agree.

She asked him not to say anything.

According to her, telling her dad would “break his heart.” She worried he might even quit his job, despite needing the extra income.

That request turned an awkward situation into a moral dilemma.

Because now, staying quiet doesn’t just feel like avoiding discomfort. It feels like actively hiding something from someone he’s built a genuine connection with.

Caught Between Two Kinds of Loyalty

This is where things get complicated.

On one side, there’s his relationship with the girl. She trusted him with something personal and asked him to respect her wishes. Ignoring that could damage the relationship, maybe even end it.

On the other side, there’s his relationship with Dave. A coworker who’s been kind, supportive, and unknowingly involved in conversations about his own daughter.

Keeping that secret starts to feel like deception.

And the longer it goes on, the heavier it gets.

Because it’s not just about what’s happening now. It’s about what happens later. If the relationship continues, the truth will come out eventually. And when it does, it won’t just be surprising. It might feel like betrayal.

Why This Feels Bigger Than It Looks

At first glance, this might seem like a harmless mix-up.

But there’s an emotional layer underneath it.

For the young man, it’s about integrity. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s hiding something from someone he respects.

For the girlfriend, it’s about control and fear. There’s clearly a reason she believes her father would react badly. Whether that fear is justified or not, it’s real to her.

And for Dave, though he doesn’t know it yet, this situation touches on something personal. Not just a coworker, but his daughter’s life.

That’s why this doesn’t have an easy answer.

Because every choice risks hurting someone.

The Question No One’s Answering Yet

One detail lingers quietly in the background.

Why would it “break his heart”?

Is it about her dating someone younger? About workplace boundaries? About something deeper in their relationship?

Without that context, the situation feels incomplete. And that uncertainty makes the decision even harder.

Because right now, he’s making a choice based on fear of a reaction he hasn’t actually seen.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Opinions were split, but a few patterns stood out. Some people felt honesty was the only real option, especially if the relationship might last.

Finding_Myself26 − Sounds like YWBTAH if you don't tell him. It feels like you two have a good relationship and he would feel disrespected if you don't say anything and...

Most people will say its none of his business (which I guess it's not overly) but if this is a long term relationship you don't want to start off on...

Just explain that you didn't know she is his daughter and that you really like and respect her.

happybanana134 − I think you need more information.   Your gf has been clear that she does not want you to tell him,

so if you ignore her and tell him, that will damage the trust she has in you. That said, you're right, you can't keep talking about a gf at work...

You need another conversation with your gf explaining that this is a really uncomfortable situation, keeping quiet will damage your friendship with her dad and

you feel strongly that he needs to know. Try to better understand why she's so against this and go from there.

EnvironmentalPhoto73 − Why would it "break his heart"? What does Dave do at the restaurant?

Others argued that respecting the girlfriend’s wishes should come first, at least for now.PensaMahna − I must say as an old lady your situation is truly a rare conundrum.

You're 18 which, sorry to say, means you and the girl probably won't stay together nor will you keep this job forever.

Your choices are - find another job, stay with the girl then tell her father OR wait to see if things work out between you and the girl OR

you and she TOGETHER tell her father and make sure he knows you want to continue working with him. The big question is why doesn't she want her father to...

Why would he quit the job because of it? Consider that most of all before you decide anything. Good luck.

beeingmelissa − Wait, so you’ve been talking to her for 6 months and her dad started working there also around 6 months ago?

At what point did she find out where you work? That’s usually something you share pretty early on, no?

How long have you known it’s her dad? Why would it break his heart? So many questions!

A common middle ground emerged. Talk to her again. Understand why she’s so strongly against telling him before making any move.cuzguys − He's eventually going to find out. Do you think it's better to tell him now or wait to a later date when he knows both you and his...

Daydreamer-64 − Do you plan on staying with her? If so, you’re going to have to meet her parents at some point.

It will be a lot worse if you do that and have to pretend you didn’t know than if you just mention it to him now.

YWBTA if you go to “meet” her dad in a few months and lie that you didn’t know.

Speak to her about how best to raise it, but I think a good way would be to say you were talking to your girlfriend and realised something slightly awkward.

She’s his daughter. You would like to round to theirs with her and meet them outside of work to make it all feel more normal.

If you’re a nice person and get on with Dave, it would be very weird and immature for this to “break his heart” or for him to quit the job.

Amareldys − I mean, was he advising you to write her obscene messages? Or are you having a loving dating relationship?

Personally I'd be happy if my daughter found a nice boy to date, especially if it turned out to be a boy I knew and liked. .. are you worried...

Wooden-Routine2293 − I'm a dad. It's a horrible idea. Keep your mouth shut. Talk less about girls with him and be professional at work.

Especially if he needs a second income. You'll go much much farther with him in the long run in you just maintain you're cool. Don't mention the daughter.

You don't want to say the wrong thing now and it can backfire on you later.

This isn’t just about whether to say something.

It’s about timing, trust, and who gets to control the narrative when lives overlap in unexpected ways.

Keeping the secret might protect things in the short term. But it also builds pressure for later.

Telling the truth might create immediate discomfort. But it clears the ground for something more honest.

Neither option is easy.

So what do you think? Is it better to protect the relationship he has now, or risk it for the sake of being upfront before the truth comes out on its own?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

CTV4

CTV4

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