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Man Reveals His Darkest Secret After Years Alone, But Therapy Helped Him Rebuild His Life

by Leona Pham
July 24, 2026
in Social Issues

Some personal struggles are hidden so deeply that the people around us may never realize the battles happening behind closed doors.

While many people run from their darkest thoughts, some choose to confront them, seek help, and fight to make sure no one else gets hurt.

In this story, the original poster (OP) reveals a painful part of his past that he has carried alone for years.

After realizing his attractions had not developed as he got older, he made the difficult decision to isolate himself because he feared harming others.

His life became controlled by fear, guilt, and constant avoidance until he finally reached out for professional help.

Through years of therapy, OP began understanding the roots of his struggles and slowly rebuilt his life. Scroll down to read about the journey that changed everything.

Man hides from society for years while battling unwanted urges

Man Reveals His Darkest Secret After Years Alone, But Therapy Helped Him Rebuild His Life
not the actual photo

'I was attracted to minors for a number of years, and it ruined my life?'

I wanted to say from the beginning that I have never touched or hurt a child, and never will..

Obvious throwaway for obvious reasons.

How it all began was when I was around 15 or so, I started to become attracted to girls

around me (I went into puberty very late). As I grew older, instead of my attractions growing

in accordance with my age, they never moved, which lead me to continually being attracted

to girls of that age. When I was a minor, it wasn't such a big issue, but when I became an

adult it was.

When I turned 19, I made the decision to essentially become a recluse. I did not want to hurt

anyone, but there were many emotions fighting inside of me. I had urges that I had little

control of, and it was a mission every day to avoid following through on them. It came to a

head one day when I was speaking to the daughter of a friend and the urges almost

o__rwhelmed me. I almost broke. This was the point when I shut myself away. I would only go

out when I knew that children were at school, or wouldn't be on the street (after dark). I

avoided media involving children. I avoided books involving children. Most days I wouldn't

go out at all, only going out after dark, if at all. I took jobs where I could work nightshift, so

that I didn't have to have any contact with children.

This made my life absolute hell. I became a nervous wreck. I would get anxiety if anyone

came to the door incase it was a child. I still worked, but my performance was poor. This

often led to me being fired or disciplined. No one else knew what I was going through. By

necessity it was something I had to endure alone.

Around 7 years ago, I found a psychologist. It had gotten to be too much and I had to speak

with someone about it. Over the course of the next six months, we discovered that my s__ual

feelings were brought about by my being s__ually abused at a young age. When it was

happening, it was frequent and often violent. As it turns out, I had repressed most of it. I

didn't know how bad it actually was. However, discovering this lead to that revelation. Over

the course of three years of twice-weekly treatments, my feelings towards minors began to

fade. Slowly, but surely, I started to get better. I owe my psychologist my life - literally. I was

at the point of suicide before I started seeing him.

Now, 7 years on, I have no attraction towards minors. I have a much more normal life. I can

actually go out during the day without being anxious. I can talk to children with no urges. I

am mostly normal. I am still dealing with the repercussions of my dark times, but the dark

times themselves are over. I'm married, and I have a baby boy on the way. The process of

getting treatment is so freeing. I can't even describe it now.

My psychologist is the one who suggested writing this out. He thinks it will help with my

healing process. I hope it will. Thanks for listening.. EDITS BELOW:

First and foremost, I want to thank you all for your support and kind words. My wife and I are

in tears reading all of the messages you folks have sent my way. When I wrote this, I expected

condemnation and negative responses. I could not have dreamed of such warm and heartfelt

responses to my post.. To respond to some questions posed here:

My psychological treatment was a blend of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Exposure &

Response Therapy. Those two therapies lasted for about 18 months, after which we moved

into Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, which also helped a great deal.

It was hard for me to find a psychologist who was willing to take me on. I live in the American

South, so psychologists weren't cheap, but my psychologist was interested in it from an

academic standpoint, so reduced his price for me in order to study my disorder and my mind

in general over the long term. I ended up paying around $50 a session, instead of the $200

he normally charged.

I had a fair amount of money saved to pay the psychologist, as I tend to live a frugal life. Not

spending a lot of money on things that most people do for fun or in social situations led me

to save a lot of money in general.

The one who abused me was my father. My mother didn't find out about this until the abuse

had been going on for a number of years. I had never understood why my mother and father

split, but once my memories began to resurface, I spoke with her about it. Upon finding out

about the abuse, my mother immediately left my father and left the house. She eventually

moved us across the country. My father was convicted of 2 counts of rape and 5 counts of

indecent a__ault of a minor and was sentenced to 8 years in prison. After 5 years of

incarceration, he committed suicide. After leaving my father, my mother looked after me

alone for the next 6 years and then found a new partner. She married him a year later and I

am glad to call him my father.. I am still seeing the psychologist who treated me, though, on

a monthly basis now.

In regards to the urges I had, they were different from normal attraction. The best way I can

describe it is like an addict looking to get more of a substance. There is this compulsive need

that is always lurking in the background, always poking at you to find it out. I would find

myself compulsively planning to do horrible things to get what I desired, which is why I shut

myself away from society.. Thank you all again for your kind words and support. It means so

much to me.

Many people struggle with thoughts or feelings they never asked for, but the most frightening battles are often the ones fought silently inside a person’s own mind.

Carrying shame and fear alone can make someone believe they are beyond help, even when seeking support is the very thing that prevents harm and creates change.

In this story, the OP’s journey was not simply about unwanted attraction; it was about years of fear, isolation, and an intense determination not to become someone who could hurt others.

Instead of ignoring his thoughts or allowing them to control his actions, he built his entire life around avoiding situations where he feared losing control.

That choice came at a tremendous personal cost.

He sacrificed relationships, opportunities, and ordinary experiences because protecting others mattered more to him than his own comfort.

His suffering came not only from the thoughts themselves but also from believing he had to carry them alone.

A different way to view this situation is to separate a person’s thoughts, identity, and actions.

Many people instinctively judge someone based only on the presence of disturbing thoughts, but psychological research shows that having an unwanted thought does not automatically define a person’s character.

The more meaningful measure is how someone responds to those thoughts.

In this case, the OP responded by creating distance, seeking professional help, and working for years to change his life.

His fear of causing harm became the reason he searched for safety and treatment.

This perspective helps explain why treatment became such an important turning point for the OP.

Instead of remaining trapped in shame and avoidance, therapy allowed him to understand where his feelings came from and develop healthier ways to manage them.

His recovery was not about pretending the past never existed; it was about processing trauma, rebuilding his life, and creating a future based on responsibility and compassion.

The story also highlights why access to mental health support matters. People who experience frightening or unwanted thoughts may avoid seeking help because they fear judgment, but silence often makes suffering worse.

Professional treatment, accountability, and honest self-reflection can create a path forward.

The most important lesson is that seeking help before harm happens is a sign of responsibility, not weakness.

A person’s choices, effort, and commitment to protecting others reveal far more about their character than the thoughts they struggle with privately.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These commenters praised OP for seeking help, overcoming struggles, and having the courage to confront difficult issues

happy-lil-hippie − I’m very proud of you for getting the help you needed and turning your

life around.

hailster92 − I cannot imagine the courage it took to say those words out loud when you went

to a psychologist. You should be immensely proud of yourself, not only for overcoming this

but also working through the trauma you've experienced.

DarthAliyah − Good job man it takes courage to admit that sort of thing to others and

especially to yourself. I'm so proud of you for not acting on your urges, stay strong! Also

congrats on your first child!

Cyber_K3 − A persons value should never be defined by their thoughts or emotions but how

that react in situations that ignite those. Good on you for knowing enough about yourself to

not endangered anyone or take actions to hurt your feature. It takes alot to seek help.

Hope you find all your peace and never let anyone tell you that you are worthless for the

thoughts you keep in your head.

FatTabby − It takes a lot of courage to make a post like this. I'm glad you got the help you

both needed and deserved.

This group admired OP’s self-control and responsibility

TreeBroth − Honestly, you're strong as s__t. It takes a lot of strength to fight against urges

and not only did you not act on them, you BEAT them. Keep kicking ass.

MarkoSpas − You had a problem, you and instead of making it worse, you fixed it. You

shouldn’t feel shame

LiveLaughAndLust − Like the others have said fair play for being proactive. Keeping yourself

and others safe.

These commenters expressed support and curiosity about OP’s recovery journey while acknowledging the difficulty of what they experienced

motzzart − I have no idea what to say. But congratulations. I am glad you're feeling better.

AutistChan − It is great that you are doing better now, those must’ve been weird times, it is

awesome those days are behind you, and you are strong finding that courage to seek help

The OP’s story is a difficult reminder that acknowledging a harmful struggle and seeking help before anyone is hurt takes courage and responsibility.

Rather than acting on destructive urges, he isolated himself, pursued professional treatment, and spent years working to change his life.

Many readers may find the topic uncomfortable, but the discussion also highlights the importance of prevention, therapy, and accountability.

Do you think seeking help before causing harm should be recognized as a sign of responsibility?

How can society better support people who are trying to prevent themselves from becoming dangerous? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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