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Dad Blames Daughter for Stillbirth After She Refuses to Be Stepmom’s Birthing Partner

by Believe Johnson
December 20, 2025
in Social Issues

Family dynamics can often feel like a complicated puzzle where the pieces just do not want to fit. Usually, the drama involves small misunderstandings or holiday arguments. However, one Redditor recently shared a story that feels like a high-stakes emotional thriller. It involves a long-standing divorce, a difficult stepmother, and a medical tragedy that turned into a blame game.

The situation reached a breaking point when a teenager was asked to step into a role she never wanted. This story explores what happens when boundaries are ignored during a crisis. It highlights how grief can sometimes lead people to lash out at the wrong targets.

If you have ever dealt with a parent who tries to rewrite history, this narrative will definitely resonate with you. Let us dive into the details of this heartbreaking and heated family feud.

Story:

Dad Blames Daughter for Stillbirth After She Refuses to Be Stepmom’s Birthing Partner
Not the actual photo

AITA for telling my dad to f__k off and cry to someone else because he doesn't get to blame me for his wife giving birth to a stillborn baby?

My parents got divorced when I (18f) was 7 and my siblings were 4 and 3. Dad started dating his wife a few months after he moved

out of the house we'd shared. He'd dated others before his wife. We met them all unfortunately and even worse is she was the worst one

of all but he ended up marrying her. My dad wanted us to feel like his house was the home we had and mom's was the place

we had to be. Him and his wife would taunt my mom that we had two moms now and dad's wife would be the one we liked

most and wanted to spend time with. Mom had stuff like that printed out in a file and when I stopped going to dad's house two years

ago she let me go through it. By then I already heard stuff from dad and his wife so it didn't come as some big shock. By

that point the tensions were higher. My dad and his wife had no kids together and their plan for me and my siblings to like the wife

better failed. Actually none of us like her. My siblings can't stand her. My sister more so because she's the youngest and my dad's wife really

tried to turn her into a mini-her. My brother was the only boy so got that attention and being so young when dad and mom divorced

there was more hope that he'd play along. They tried with me too but I was old enough to remember life without dad's wife so I think

they always saw me as a long shot. My siblings spend significantly less time at dad's now. They went from 50-50 to every other weekend and

only because the judge ordered them to go. My dad and his wife tried to get full custody and accused my mom of parental alienation but her

file showed that was not true and it was the other way around if anything, even if it failed. After all that my dad and his

wife started trying for a baby. She had two miscarriages and then her third pregnancy stuck. My dad was away, not sure where, when she ended

up going into labor and she called mom, my siblings and me to try and get me to be her birthing partner. She wanted me to

take her to the hospital as well. But I refused. She begged and said dad couldn't get in touch with dad and she was scared and

needed someone and I told her to find someone who cared. We found out a couple of days later the baby had been stillborn and I guess

early, though I'm not sure how early. My dad wanted to see us but none of us wanted to see him. He tried to insist my

siblings be there but they refused to go outside of the weekends that had to be. He tried to speak to me but I ignored him.

Then he made my siblings put me on the phone and he blamed me for what happened to the baby. He said he heard I refused to

help his wife and he was a big mess crying and yelling at me for not saving the baby and helping his wife. I repeatedly told

him to f__k off and cry to someone else and he doesn't get to blame me for his wife having a stillborn baby. When he finally realized

what I was saying he asked me how I could take that attitude when I lost a sibling. When he is still my dad and he was

a damn good dad. I told him he wasn't and he kept proving that. My mom's trying to work with her lawyer to see if all this

will change the custody order for my siblings but we're not sure yet. My siblings really don't want to go to dad's house but if mom lets

that happen then she'll lose custody and they'll end up in dad's care full time. Which none of us want.

Which this isn't really relevant so I'll stop rambling now.. AITA?

Reading this honestly makes my heart ache for everyone involved. It is a deeply heavy situation. On one hand, you have a woman going through every mother’s worst nightmare. On the other hand, you have a teenager who has been emotionally pushed away for years.

It is truly shocking that the stepmother’s first instinct was to call a teenager she didn’t get along with. Usually, in an emergency, people call professional services or close friends. Asking an estranged stepdaughter to be a birthing partner feels like a massive overstep. It seems like the father is looking for someone to blame for his own absence. Transitioning into the psychological side of things reveals why this happens.

Expert Opinion

The father’s reaction in this story is a clear example of “displaced aggression.” This happens when someone is under immense stress or grief and redirects their anger toward a safer target. Because the father likely feels guilty for being unreachable during the birth, he projects that guilt onto his daughter. It is a defense mechanism to avoid facing his own perceived failure as a partner.

According to a report by Psychology Today, high-conflict divorces often lead to “parental alienation” attempts. In this story, the father allegedly tried to make his children prefer his new wife over their mother. When that failed, the relationship soured further. This foundation of distrust made it impossible for the daughter to feel like a supportive figure during the medical emergency.

Experts at The Gottman Institute often discuss the importance of “bids for connection.” However, a bid for connection during a medical crisis is too much to ask of a child who has been treated poorly. A teenager is not a medical professional or an emergency service.

Dr. Peggy Drexler, a research psychologist, notes that step-family dynamics are fragile. “When a parent tries to force a bond that isn’t there, it often leads to resentment,” she explains. In this case, the dad’s expectation was unrealistic.

The tragedy of the stillbirth is immense. However, tying that outcome to a teenager’s refusal to drive is medically and logically unsound. It reflects a total lack of accountability on the part of the adults. The father’s choice to be unreachable was his own, yet he chose to make his daughter the villain of the story.

Community Opinions

Netizens were absolutely floored by the father’s audacity in this situation. The comments section was filled with people pointing out the many logical flaws in the parents’ behavior.

Many readers focused on the father’s mysterious absence during such a critical time.

clownandmuppet − Why is your dad away anywhere when his wife was so close to labour? He made that decision to be away at a critical juncture.

Perhaps he should reflect on what he could have done differently that day. You are NTA

Economy-Cod310 − NTA. I wonder why Dad couldn't be reached?

What or who was he doing while his wife was having a miscarriage? I'd be curious. I get the feeling that Dear Old Dad is a cheater.

Sweet_Vanilla46 − Soooo dad was gone and not answering his phone…. Gee, I wonder what the guy... could possibly have been doing that kept him so distracted

that he didn’t answer multiple calls from his pregnant wife. I wonder what could possibly be causing him so much guilt that his fallback is blaming his underage daughter...

Others were confused why the stepmother didn’t call professional emergency services.

Ancient-Highlight112 − Why didn't your your dad's wife just call an ambulance?

AugustWatson01 − NTA why didn’t she call an ambulance like normal people? Does she not have family or friends she could’ve called?

Rowan_M_ − Call health care professionals: No Call a 18yo girl who doesn't get along with you: Hell yeah! NTA

Commenters were quick to remind the OP that she is not a doctor and cannot be blamed for a medical tragedy.

fiestafan73 − Is he under the delusion that you are an OB/GYN and could have saved her pregnancy? What an idiotic assertion.

As for getting her to the hospital, if anyone is to blame for that, it is the two irresponsible fools who never made any kind of birthing plan. NTA.

The_Boss16 − If your dad really cared he would had a plan for the birth if he needed to travel... And the blame on you because she had a stillborn...

Some focused on the impact this could have on the younger siblings still in the home.

[Reddit User] − I would suggest that you tell your lawyer that your ‘dad’ and his mrs are unstable and they are not fit to look after your siblings.

Ancient-Meal-5465 − He blamed you for the death of a baby where he knew your younger siblings could hear. He’s an abuser.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

When you are faced with a family member who is projecting their guilt or grief onto you, the best path is firm boundaries. It is helpful to remember that their anger is a reflection of their internal pain, not your actions. You are not responsible for the choices of the adults in your life.

If a situation becomes verbally abusive, it is okay to end the conversation immediately. Saying something like, “I am sorry for your loss, but I will not accept blame for this,” is a powerful way to stand your ground. Prioritizing your own mental health and the safety of your siblings is the most important step.

Conclusion

This story serves as a painful reminder that blood does not always mean support. The daughter stood her ground against a truly unfair accusation. While the loss of a child is a tragedy, using that tragedy to attack a teenager is never the answer.

What do you think about this situation? Is the father just blinded by grief, or is this a sign of deeper toxicity? How would you handle a parent who blamed you for something completely out of your control? Share your thoughts with us below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 3/3 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/3 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/3 votes | 0%

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson - a dedicated full-time writer specializing in entertainment and news writing. Her experience in various jobs related to movies and TV show news enhances her understanding of the industry, making her an indispensable team member.

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