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Dinner Drama Unfolds After Woman Mentions Booth Pain And Friend Says She “Made It About Herself”

by Katy Nguyen
November 16, 2025
in Social Issues

Birthdays usually bring laughter, shared desserts, and the kind of conversations that drift long after the plates are cleared. Yet sometimes tiny moments of discomfort can balloon into something heavier, especially when they touch on insecurities people rarely talk about out loud.

One woman found herself in that exact position while celebrating a friend’s birthday at a restaurant known for its booth seating. She tried to manage the discomfort quietly, but the pain kept creeping in, and she voiced it here and there throughout the night.

A simple issue with the seating became more painful than she expected.

Dinner Drama Unfolds After Woman Mentions Booth Pain And Friend Says She “Made It About Herself”
Not the actual photo

'AITA for complaining that I couldn’t fit in a booth at a restaurant because of my weight?'

Me (24f) and my friends were out recently to celebrate my friend Sarah’s (26f) birthday.

For some context, I’m morbidly obese, and I can’t fit in booths at all.

I find it hard sitting down when the tables don’t move, and it’s also just painful and uncomfortable anyway.

My friends know this, and generally when we eat out, we get a table.

However, because of the fact that it’s my friend’s birthday, we went to her favourite restaurant, where it’s mainly booths.

We tried to get a table, but there weren’t any, so we were seated at a booth.

I found it hard to get into, and it was really pressing against my stomach, but I managed for a while.

I mentioned to one of my friends that it would be nicer if they had better seating here, and she agreed.

I mentioned this a few times over the course of the night because it was hurting, and everyone agreed. I wasn’t complaining much, just venting a bit.

Before we were about to go home, though, Sarah talked to me privately and told me that I was taking attention away from her and her birthday by mentioning it...

She said that she tried to accommodate me a lot, but it can’t always happen, and I need to take responsibility for my weight and manage it.

I apologised and said okay but she just left but now I’m really starting to wonder if I’m the a__hole for complaining.

I asked my roommate about this yesterday, and she agrees and said that I was being selfish.

I really wasn’t trying to be ungrateful for celebrating her birthday here.

I was just getting my frustrations out, and I’m obviously thankful when she accommodated me.

But AITA, should I have just dealt with it silently?

Edit: I really didn’t expect this to get as many comments as it did, but thank you everybody for the perspective, I agree, and I will apologise to my friend...

Please stop offering me weight loss advice/assuming my situation or being rude to me, it is already embarrassing enough opening up like this online, let alone to 450 comments, I’m...

This conflict sits in that awkward space where physical pain and social expectations collide at the same table.

On one side, the OP is trying to endure a booth that literally hurts; on the other, the birthday friend wants the evening to feel light, festive, and focused on her.

No one is plotting harm, but the mismatch in needs makes the night feel tense rather than celebratory.

From the OP’s perspective, quietly suffering through sharp, constant discomfort feels unreasonable, especially when her friends already know booths are a problem. Venting a few times may have felt like the only pressure valve she had.

From Sarah’s point of view, every remark about the booth sounded like the spotlight drifting away from her birthday and toward a problem she couldn’t practically solve in that moment.

This is not just a “feelings” issue; it is also a design issue. Larger-bodied diners have long reported that fixed booths can be painful or unusable, because the distance between seat and table is designed for a narrow range of bodies.

Plus-size writer Aubrey Gordon describes cramming into a booth until she “couldn’t breathe and had to relocate” in an essay about dining out in a bigger body.

Restaurant furniture guides openly acknowledge that booth size and spacing “greatly impact customer comfort and satisfaction,” underscoring that seating choices are not neutral.

Emotionally, the situation is layered by weight stigma. Public health researchers at the University of Illinois Chicago note that experiencing weight stigma is linked to higher risks of depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and lifelong discomfort in one’s body.

In a commentary from the University of Michigan School of Public Health, researcher Kendrin Sonneville points out that weight stigma is “consistently associated with poor mental health, including increased symptoms of eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.”

That kind of chronic emotional backdrop makes moments like a too-tight booth feel extra raw.

A neutral path forward would involve both accountability and empathy. The OP can reasonably acknowledge that repeatedly bringing up her discomfort at someone else’s birthday did, unintentionally, pull focus.

At the same time, Sarah could recognize that the OP wasn’t trying to hijack the night; she was dealing with real physical pain inside a world not designed for her body.

A follow-up conversation that separates “you ruined my birthday” from “I felt overlooked in that moment” would likely help them repair the friendship.

See what others had to share with OP:

This group of Redditors believed OP’s initial comment was reasonable, but everything after that pushed the situation into YTA territory.

Greygal_Eve − You are not the a__hole for mentioning it once; YTA for bringing it up repeatedly.

Sincerely, I hope you can find help to manage your weight. At 24, you can still turn things around and get to a healthier state of being.

You deserve to enjoy things like sitting in a booth, fitting in a movie theater seat, buying clothes off the rack, etc.

At 26, I was over 330 pounds. I don't even know how fat I was because the scale at my doctor's office maxed out at 330 pounds.

I was very, very unhealthy even though I felt like I was okay, but when he called me with the blood test results a few days later and flat-out told...

He told me to start by going for a walk every single day ("doesn't matter how short or long, just start walking") and cutting out fast food (which I was...

He said he never tells anyone to go on a diet because diets always fail, but instead, tells people one or two things to change that start them moving in...

Long story short, 16 months later, I had lost at least 180 pounds; got myself into the 150s.

It's 33 years later, I'm now 59 years old, and I'm still in my 150s. All my friends are dealing with diabetes, high blood pressure, etc, and I'm not.

I have no medical problems whatsoever except my lifelong allergies. I still go for a walk every day.

Plastic-Abroc67a8282 − "I mentioned to one of my friends that it would be nicer if they had better seating here, and she agreed."

Perfectly reasonable! "I mentioned this a few times over the course of the night." No longer reasonable. YTA.

EmpressJainaSolo − YTA for repeating your complaints. Mentioning it is understandable.

However, once you were certain your message was understood, you should have continued with the night.

Your choices were to leave, to find other seating, or to decide to stay and try to enjoy the night.

If it was as uncomfortable as it sounds, I hope no one would have begrudged you for leaving early or asking for a chair.

Your choice to stay, but to keep the focus on how uncomfortable you were, didn’t actually do anything to make the situation better for yourself.

I almost want to go ESH for your friend’s dig about your weight.

And yet if your behavior that night was typical, it’s hard to say how much of her comment was judgment about your appearance and how much was frustration that your...

WelfordNelferd − YTA. You mentioned it once, and your friend agreed that better seating would have been nice.

That's where it should have ended. Birthday or not, what did you hope to achieve by repeatedly complaining about it?

asianingermany − YTA. Couldn't you ask for a chair to sit at the end of the table? You complained once, that's fine. But keep complaining is just rude.

Do something about it instead of complaining. Ask for a chair, don't come at all, or bear it in silence. For the long term, look into managing your weight.

You're so young and still have a long life ahead of you; do you really want to spend it like this?

777joeb − YTA. You made them aware you were uncomfortable and then proceeded to bring it up multiple times after. What was this going to accomplish?

If you spend the night complaining about something that is outside of the control of your friends and is a problem you have created yourself, you can expect people to...

Fix your issues or be quiet about them; they are only your concern.

Argorian17 − I mentioned this a few times over the course of the night.

Why? Do you think they did not hear you the first time? What were you expecting?

That by mentioning it a few times, reality would change? mild YTA, more annoying than really AH.

lihzee − YTA. I think everyone got the point the first time you mentioned it.

Bringing it up over and over during someone's birthday dinner doesn't sound like a fun conversation.

Substantial-Peach672 − YTA sounds like you were moaning non-stop to me, honestly. It was kind of your friends not to tell you to stop much earlier.

These commenters pointed out that OP complained to the wrong audience.

-Onion_Kid- − YTA. You are complaining to the wrong people repeatedly.

You should have said something to the staff if you were uncomfortable, then they might have brought you a spare chair that you could sit on at the end of...

Spare-Article-396 − YTA. What did you expect for the outcome? Mention it once or twice, ok, I guess.

Is it more than that? Why vent at a celebration? Why didn’t you ask the server for a chair to sit on the end?

Edit to add: I get that it sucks, I really, really do. And I empathize with you.

These users emphasized that the discomfort wasn’t caused by the group, and repeatedly complaining about it wasn’t fair to the birthday person.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Yeah, it sucks that the restaurant didn't have tables to accommodate you, but that's your problem.

They felt bad the first time you brought it up. You kept bringing it up like a broken record and took attention away from your friend's birthday.

Appropriate-Yam-8141 − This just happened to me at my favorite restaurant (my husband happens to be a chef there).

I’m 8 months pregnant, and we went to have dinner and sit at our normal booth. I realized I don’t fit.

We all got a good laugh (including the people around us), and then my pregnant ass grabbed a chair and stuck it at the end of the booth, and problem...

You sound annoying.

These commenters acknowledged OP’s discomfort but encouraged practical, adult problem-solving rather than repeated venting.

Rohini_rambles − A few times is excessive. And attention-grabbing. And it must suck to be the Birthday person and hear you complaining all night long.

You KNEW about the booths beforehand. You made an informed choice as to attending, knowing the discomfort it would entail.

If you can't handle sitting there for that long, you should have skipped it entirely, kept it to yourself after the first comment, or called the restaurant and asked about...

This is a learning opportunity. You sound like you have good friends, just try to think about them too, not just about yourself.

And call ahead or skip next time instead of subjecting yourself to this.

[Reddit User] − I feel ya. YTA for continuing to complain. If it was so bad, just ask for a chair to be put at the end of the table.

Or just politely, without bitching about the table, tell your friends that you're not feeling good and go home.

Send a letter to management or the owners asking if they could get more booths for larger people or get more tables.

They may not be aware of the situation. If you want to lose weight, talk with your doctor and a nutritionist.

Start out small. Set reasonable goals. I want to lose 10 pounds in 3 months.

No, I want to lose 45 pounds in 3 months. Setting attainable goals sets you up for success. Good luck.

In the end, this clash wasn’t about a booth, it was about hurt feelings, timing, and two people struggling to be understood. The OP wasn’t trying to overshadow a celebration, but the discomfort spilled over in ways that shaped the mood more than she realized.

Do you think the OP’s venting was understandable, or did she unintentionally dim the birthday spotlight? How would you balance honesty with sensitivity? Drop your perspective below.

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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