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Grandfather Leaves Everything To Granddaughter After Son Tries To Erase Her

by Annie Nguyen
February 5, 2026
in Social Issues

Money has a way of bringing out sides of people you never expected to see, especially when it comes wrapped in grief and unresolved family drama. Add in past betrayals and complicated relationships, and even a short visit can spiral into something unforgettable.

The original poster shares a story about a heated confrontation involving her adult son, her seriously ill husband, and a conversation that was supposed to be practical. Instead, it quickly turned personal. Old resentments resurfaced, shocking accusations were made, and a comment about inheritance ignited a reaction no one saw coming.

What followed left the family divided and the poster questioning whether her response was justified or cruel. As calls from friends and relatives start pouring in, she turns to the internet for judgment. Keep reading to see what was said and why people cannot agree on who went too far.

A family inheritance talk turns explosive when a son resurfaces after years of distance and neglect

Grandfather Leaves Everything To Granddaughter After Son Tries To Erase Her
not actual the photo

'AITA for telling my son i’d rather have his ex wife as a daughter than him as my son after he got cut out of the will?'

16 years ago my son Matthew had a daughter with his now ex-wife Josie.

I have always thought of Josie as my own daughter, so when they divorced 7 years ago due to my son cheating, I was conflicted and disappointed.

Josie wasn’t particularly close with any of her family, so my husband and I naturally took them in.

Josie was an angel, she had insisted that we didn’t have to lift a finger more than before we had taken them in, and though

she was hurt, she kept civil around Matthew. My husband and I held a huge hand in raising their daughter Ruth,

because Matthew remarried less than a year later and now has a four-year-old son after disowning Ruth.

Two years ago my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer, it was hard on everyone, especially Ruth.

They were extremely close, she told him about her girlfriends and boyfriends before anyone else and has always wanted him to be

the one to walk her down the aisle at her wedding.

Matt rarely ever visited and didn't answer our calls often saying that we had other kids

so it wasn’t like my husband was dying lonely. Last night Matt stopped by to talk about inheritance; he never mentioned

Josie nor Ruth and hinted that he thought he should get more inheritance than his siblings the entire time.

My husband and I shared awkward looks until he decided to cut in, he explained that everyone would get a piece,

but he’d focus more on Ruth and Bonnie (one of our other grandkids). Matt got angry and said that Ruth was just a b__tard and

that his son deserved more than her, my husband got furious after that and left the room saying that he wouldn’t include Matthew at all.

Matt yelled back and turned to me saying that Ruth wasn’t worth it because she’d just grow up to be a whore like her mother.

I told him that I’d rather have her mother as my daughter than him as my son and insisted that he leave.

I’m getting phone calls from Matt’s wife and family friends saying that my husband and I overreacted and

he was just angry that we were playing favorites... AITA?

EDIT: To clear some things up: Josie did not cheat on Matthew, Josie and Matthew met later in college and Josie was known as a “party girl”

before that, Ruth isn’t the product of an affair but we are planning on getting a DNA test because what Matthew

said has gotten under Ruth’s skin (she was at the house when this occurred and overheard it)

When it came to taking in Josie and Ruth we didn’t hesitate because Josie is not from here, she and Matt lived in another country until

he moved them here a few months before he got caught cheating and they had nowhere else to go as Josie was a stay-at-home mom.

I had no intentions of “choosing” Josie over Matt, then and now, and I never discouraged Matt from visiting.

I tried to make it very clear that we weren’t picking and choosing when we took Josie in;

we just wanted her and our granddaughter to be safe and have a good home.

When family relationships break down, the damage rarely stays confined to just two people. Estrangement often spreads quietly across generations, pulling grandparents and grandchildren into conflicts they never created.

Research on intergenerational family dynamics shows that when adult children disengage, the emotional cost is often borne most heavily by the youngest and oldest members of the family.

A study published on ScienceDirect explores how grandparents lose contact with grandchildren following divorce, remarriage, or prolonged conflict with an adult child.

The research found that when fathers become non-resident parents, paternal grandparents are far more likely to experience reduced or completely severed relationships with their grandchildren.

This loss isn’t usually the result of neglect from grandparents but rather the adult child acting as a gatekeeper, controlling access based on their own emotional conflicts. In these situations, grandchildren become unintended victims of adult resentment, rather than participants in the dispute itself.

The study further explains that grandparents who step in as emotional or practical caregivers often do so to provide stability when a parent withdraws.

However, this involvement can later be framed as “taking sides,” even when the original intent was simply to protect a child’s well-being. Over time, unresolved bitterness from the adult child may be redirected toward both the grandparents and the grandchildren they continue to support

Psychologist Joshua Coleman, author of Rules of Estrangement, sheds light on why these conflicts become so entrenched. In his work, Coleman explains that in adult parent-child relationships, power often shifts toward the adult child because they are more willing to walk away.

Parents, who typically remain emotionally invested, are left navigating relationships where love and history no longer guarantee mutual respect. As Coleman notes, emotional and financial investment does not entitle parents to continued closeness if the adult child chooses distance.

Coleman also emphasizes that estrangement is rarely about a single argument. Instead, it reflects long-standing patterns of behavior, values, and unresolved grievances.

When an adult child repeatedly shows contempt or disengagement, especially toward their own child, parents may be forced to reassess where their emotional and moral responsibilities lie. Protecting a vulnerable grandchild can become a boundary rather than an act of favoritism (Rules of Estrangement).

Taken together, insights from ScienceDirect and Rules of Estrangement reveal a difficult truth: family bonds are sustained by behavior, not biology alone.

When an adult child withdraws emotionally or behaves in ways that harm others, grandparents may face an impossible choice: remain loyal to their child at the expense of a grandchild’s stability, or prioritize care where it is reciprocated. In many cases, choosing the latter is less about rejection and more about preserving the healthiest relationships still standing.

Check out how the community responded:

These commenters advised leaving him $1 to block any attempt to contest the will

quippers − Make sure to leave him and his son $1 each so they can't contest the will by saying you forgot about them.

Geek_is_my_chic − Nta, make sure he gets the sum of one dollar so he can't sue, saying

that he was meant to be in the will and the deceased forgot him. It will show he was included but purposely excluded.

Basically, the lawyer proof the whole thing making sure he cannot steal his biological children’s portions

Edit: punctuation to correct any misunderstanding’s

These Redditors blasted the son for greed, hypocrisy, and showing up only for money

rmric0 − NTA. Dude abandoned his family and only came sniffing back around when his dad was in a bad state and

he thought he might get something out of it, he couldn't even be civil and fake nice long enough for that conversation.

Cokeycane − NTA - Boy money makes people do horrible things.

Seems like Matt and his current wife are just worried about money than anything else.

That's quite gross and sickening. Cannot respect a man disowning his own daughter.

Fun-Tourist-7395 − NTA - ABSOLUTELY CUT HIM OUT AND DON’T GIVE ANYTHING TO HIS FAMILY! The absolute nerve.

He cheated on his WIFE but SHE is the wh*re? If delusional was a person, Matthew is his name-o.

TheBurgundyCrone − What the hell Koolaid is your son drinking? Good lord. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA. He is, however, for counting “his” money before anyone’s even dead.

This group condemned the son as misogynistic, selfish, and emotionally rotten

wldskies − Matt is a misogynist. Matt is a jerk and a disappointment.

You don’t have to let Matt believe you think anything else because ultimately he isn’t going to change. Matt is a user.

Not a d__g user, but a people user. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.

There’s no reason to enable him to use you or your spouses money to further abuse people. NTA

juicygooseylucyetc − NTA, wow, what on earth happened to your son that he turned out like that?

These users urged locking inheritance in trusts so the son cannot access it

1955photo − NTA And a word of advice:. The money for the grandchildren needs to be tied up so Matthew can't get his hands on it.

Also, refuse to discuss this with anyone in the family. Absolutely. Your attorney can give them the news.

lapsteelguitar − First, it's your money, you can do with it as you want. For what ever reason you want, or no reason at all.

Second, you are allowed to play favorites, if you want to. See #1 above.

Third, if you do want to leave some money to your grandson, you can leave it via a Uniform Gift to Minors Act (UGMA) type of account or a trust...

Depending on the details, you can make sure that neither your son nor his wife can get their hands on the money.

The details are best settled by a lawyer with experience in the field.

Fourth, it seems to me that Matt was thinking that if his dad preceded you in death, then he would inherit,

that your husband would not be leaving you any money. I can only assume that this is false.

This commenter backed OP, calling out the son’s flying monkeys as proof he’s wrong

unjessicabiel_evable − NTA. What tips it over into truly NTA territory is the fact that you're getting calls from Matt's flying monkeys.

The one sending flying monkeys is always the AH.

These commenters praised OP for choosing love and protecting true family over blood

UnencumberedChipmunk − Ohhhhh man. I have to commend you for being such wonderful

supports to Josie and Ruth you and your husband are just amazing for loving them in the way you have.

Your son clearly doesn’t feel like he needs to be a part of your family- you say he rarely called or visited- and his demeanor is just a__orrent.

You’re doing the right thing. Thank you for being such good people. Even if your son is your son- and even though

it must be very hard the fact that you support Josie and Ruth over him is a beautiful thing.

Your son has his “perfect” family and it seems that beyond getting money from you, he has no use. He made his choices not you. Nta.

Mrs-Fleury − NTA! How n__ty to come for the inheritance while his father is still alive. And even to think that he want more than his sibling.

I’m guessing that there’s more to this story. And you no what? blood doesn’t always make family sometimes there are people

who come in to your life and because of their love support and actions they become real family!

But again no NTA! And I wish you al the best wishes and a lot of strength for everything you and your husband are going through.

This user questioned paternity details, seeking context before final judgment

[Reddit User] − INFO: why is he calling Ruth a b__tard, why is he calling his ex a whore, why has he 'disowned' Ruth?

Not to justify his demands or language, but is Ruth not his child? Did he cheat on his ex after she conceived an affair child?

If Ruth is not his child I could see how difficult and how much harboured resentment he may have given

that you've then taken them in and raised her, which does have to be considered in this YTA/NTA judgement.

This family’s saga hits on some powerful themes: loyalty, emotional investment, and what happens when promises spoken or unspoken aren’t kept.

When a son disparages the very child his parents helped raise, the elders have to choose between staying silent or speaking up, and they choose the latter.

Do you think the grandparents’ reaction was justified, or did they go too far? How would you balance emotional bonds with tough family decisions like inheritance? Share your hot takes below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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