When she was a young child, she learned that certain situations could make her suddenly disappear for a few seconds.
Doctors had diagnosed her with childhood epilepsy, and her seizures did not look like the dramatic episodes people usually imagine. Instead, she would roll her eyes back until only the whites were visible and become unresponsive for several seconds. Sometimes it happened repeatedly throughout the day. Once, it nearly caused her to drown.
Her family knew she had seizures. They also knew stress could bring them on.
What she did not know was that, for years, some of the people closest to her were deliberately creating that stress to see whether her medication was working.
She only discovered the truth when she was 21.
And suddenly, a childhood tradition she had always hated made horrifying sense.
A Childhood Defined by Seizures and Misunderstanding
The woman, now 23, explained that her seizures began when she was around six years old. Her doctor described them as childhood epilepsy, and she eventually learned that stress and anxiety could bring them on.
Her seizures were brief but happened frequently. She would roll her eyes backward and become completely “gone” for five to ten seconds.
Because they did not look like the seizures people commonly see in movies, others sometimes assumed she was being rude, pretending, or looking for attention.
Her condition also helped doctors and her mother recognize that she had dyslexia. Reading and writing could trigger episodes, making school even more difficult.
After six or seven years, however, things improved. She was eventually told that doctors were no longer seeing seizure activity.
She remembered the relief of knowing that the blood tests, scans and medication might finally be behind her.
But one comment from her mother stayed with her.
When the doctor said they had not noticed any more activity, her mother laughed and asked whether she still had epilepsy, jokingly implying that they already knew she was “stupid.”
The comment became a family joke.
What she didn’t know was that something much darker had also been happening.
The Friday Candy Tradition
Growing up, her family had a weekly tradition they called the “Friday candy ceremony.”
Every Friday, she, her siblings, her mother, an aunt and other relatives would sit together. A bowl of candy would be passed around the circle, with everyone taking turns choosing a piece.
The whole thing could last 45 minutes to an hour.
As she got older, she realized she had always hated those evenings. She disliked going to her aunt’s house. She remembered feeling anxious and uncomfortable, but she never understood why.
Then, years later, she casually mentioned one particular Friday to her mother.
She remembered that everyone had seemed unusually stressful and asked why.
Her mother’s response changed the way she viewed her childhood.
According to the woman, her mother smiled and explained that the family had intentionally stressed her during the candy sessions to trigger seizures and see whether her medication was working.
They eventually stopped after she went through one session without having a seizure.
Her mother apparently explained that they had even counted the episodes and recorded the numbers.
One day might have been eight seizures. Another might have been nine. Another might have been four.
The realization left her stunned.
She had spent years wondering why that tradition made her so anxious. Now she had an answer.
The Part That Hurt the Most
The woman said she had previously struggled with anxiety around her family but never considered them responsible for her trauma.
That changed after learning what had happened.
She was not angry simply because her family had tested whether medication was effective. She was devastated by the fact that they had deliberately created a situation they knew could cause her seizures, while she was a child who had no idea what was happening.
She also remembered nearly drowning during one of her seizures.
Today, she still experiences chronic anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. She avoids public pools because of the experience. She also has difficulty feeling completely safe around her relatives.
Perhaps most painfully, she said her family has complained that her panic attacks are annoying.
She had not yet told her friends or boyfriend because she was afraid they would not understand or believe her.
She also worried about hurting her family’s feelings by explaining how deeply their actions had affected her.
But the comments from other people were overwhelmingly clear: whatever the family’s intentions were, deliberately provoking seizures in a child was not something that should be dismissed as a harmless family tradition.
What Experts Say About Stress and Seizures
The medical relationship between stress and seizures is real, although it is more complicated than simply saying stress “causes” epilepsy. The Epilepsy Foundation explains that stress is a commonly reported seizure trigger for some people, and that emotional stress can affect the brain and nervous system in ways that may increase seizure activity.
Research has also examined the connection between stress and seizures in children. A review published through the National Library of Medicine notes that stressful experiences can precipitate seizures in some people with epilepsy, although the relationship varies from person to person.
That context makes the woman’s discovery especially disturbing. Her family apparently knew that stress could affect her seizures and deliberately used that knowledge during childhood. Even without knowing every medical detail of her condition, the situation described in the post raises serious concerns about her safety and emotional well-being.
The most important point is that her childhood reactions were not something she could simply explain away. Her body may have associated those environments with danger long before she understood why.
And sometimes, discovering the reason behind an old fear can be almost as painful as the fear itself.
The hardest part of this story may not be what happened when she was six, seven or eight years old. It may be realizing it decades later and suddenly understanding why certain places, traditions and people never felt safe.
She cannot change what happened. But she can decide what happens next.
She does not owe anyone access to her simply because they are family. And she does not have to minimize her own experience to protect the feelings of people who failed to protect hers.
Sometimes breaking a cycle begins with finally believing yourself.
Would you have confronted the family, gone no-contact, or tried to understand their side?
