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Her Friend Mocked Women for Wearing Heels, So She Told Him He Had No Idea What He Was Talking About

by CTV4
May 27, 2026
in Social Issues

Fashion arguments usually stay pretty harmless. Someone hates skinny jeans, someone else thinks cargo shorts should be legally banned, and everybody moves on with their lives.

But one woman found herself in an unexpectedly heated debate after a casual conversation about shoes turned into a surprisingly personal argument about women, confidence, and whether men should be commenting on things they have never actually experienced.

It all started with a photo of a closet.

The 26-year-old woman had recently renovated her walk-in closet and proudly shared pictures with her group of friends.

The conversation quickly shifted toward her large collection of high heels, which immediately caught the attention of one male friend.

Instead of complimenting the setup, he questioned why women continue buying heels at all when they are, according to him, “uncomfortable as f__k.”

At first, the exchange stayed fairly lighthearted.

Then he kept pushing.

Her Friend Mocked Women for Wearing Heels, So She Told Him He Had No Idea What He Was Talking About
Not the actual photo

Here’s how it all unraveled:

'AITA for telling my friend that he has no business commenting on whether heels are comfortable or uncomfortable for women?'

So recently I(26F) sent my friends a picture of my newly renovated walk in closet, and the conversation turned to my shoe shelf.

I have a lot of heels and my friend (30M) said that he doesn’t understand why

women keep on buying them when they’re uncomfortable as f__k.

I told him that heels look good and make me feel more confident, and that they can be comfortable,

you just have to find a good brand and know what heel height and style is comfortable for you.

I told him that I regularly go on walks in the city wearing 3.75 inch heels, my preferred height, and it’s not uncomfortable for me.

He said that ‘not uncomfortable’ is different from comfortable, and that he finds it shallow that

people subject themselves to discomfort for the sake of a look. I told him that

he has no business commenting whether heels are comfortable or uncomfortable

for women because he’s not one and he’s never walked a mile in women’s shoes, literally.

Some of my friends say that I went a bit too far snapping at him like that for saying that heels are uncomfortable when

a lot of girls say that themselves, but my point is that girls who say heels are uncomfortable have actually worn them and

can say what they think based on their experience. My friend on the other hand is taking an opinion he has heard a lot but

doesn’t even have personal knowledge of and insisting that it’s a fact that’s true for everyone.. AITA?

A Conversation About Shoes Became Something Much Bigger

The woman explained that she genuinely enjoys wearing heels. To her, they look good, feel stylish, and boost her confidence. More importantly, she argued that not all heels are torture devices if you know what works for your body.

She even pointed out that she regularly walks around the city in 3.75-inch heels without discomfort because she has figured out which brands, heel heights, and styles suit her personally.

Her friend was not convinced.

He responded by saying there is a difference between “not uncomfortable” and actually comfortable, and added that he found it shallow when people willingly put themselves through discomfort just for appearances.

That was the moment the conversation shifted emotionally.

The woman snapped back that he had no business telling women whether heels are comfortable because he had never actually worn them himself. Literally.

Some friends later told her she overreacted because many women openly admit that heels can be uncomfortable too. But for her, that was not really the issue.

Her frustration came from the fact that her friend was confidently insisting on a universal experience he had only heard about secondhand while also making moral judgments about women who wear heels.

And honestly, that distinction explains why so many people online immediately took her side.

Why the Conversation Felt More Personal Than It Seemed

On the surface, this was technically about shoes. Underneath, it was really about authority, experience, and unsolicited judgment.

The friend could have simply said, “I don’t get the appeal of heels.” Instead, he framed women who wear them as shallow people willingly harming themselves for appearances.

That moral judgment is likely what made the conversation feel condescending instead of casual.

According to Psychology Today, clothing and fashion choices are often deeply connected to identity, confidence, self-expression, and social belonging. People rarely choose fashion based purely on practicality. Emotional meaning plays a major role.

That context matters because the woman was not claiming all heels are objectively comfortable for everyone. She was describing her own experience and preferences.

Her friend, meanwhile, kept treating discomfort as an indisputable universal truth while dismissing the emotional and aesthetic reasons people choose certain styles.

Ironically, people do this all the time in other areas without criticism.

Men wear uncomfortable dress shoes, tight collars, and suits in professional settings because appearance influences confidence and social perception.

Athletes wear painful equipment. People sit through tattoos, cosmetic procedures, and formalwear because they value how those things make them feel.

Fashion has never been entirely about physical comfort.

The bigger issue was probably that the friend kept invalidating her own experience after she explained it directly.

Once someone says, “Actually, this works for me,” continuing to insist they are wrong tends to feel less like curiosity and more like talking down to them.

And that is usually where conversations stop being about opinions and start becoming annoying.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Supporters argued that the friend crossed the line once he started making negative judgments about women who wear heels instead of simply expressing personal confusion.

seagullriot − NTA. and that he finds it shallow that people subject themselves to discomfort for the sake of a look

This is the part that solidified it for me. It's already something that doesn't affect him that doesn't need his opinion, and even

worse that he's passing weird value judgments and insulting you because of it. Has he never worn a tie & button up before?

greenprotomullet − NTA. I hate mansplaining with a passion.

amhran_oiche − NTA. He's allowed to have an opinion but it doesn't make it valid.

All he's doing is repeating something he's overheard, as well as making a judgement about women who wear heels based on it. Incredible.

Several commenters pointed out that he was confidently repeating opinions he had heard elsewhere while dismissing the lived experiences of women directly telling him otherwise.[Reddit User] − NTA. You told him how you felt and he told you that you were wrong.

He had the chance to leave it but he dug in and continued. Tell your friends he's not really upset,

that most people aren't upset by how you handle things so he couldn't possibly be upset now.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s a personal preference if one wants to wear literally anything. This boyo gets no say in it lol tf

0Selty0 − YTA - and I say this as a woman. You're framing this as a feminist issue but the truth is that

it just rubbed you off the wrong way when he indirectly called you shallow

The fact that heels are uncomfortable and straight up medically bad for you is well established and you don't need to be a woman in order to mention it.

Granted, you're an adult and you don't need to justify your sartorial decisions to anyone, least of all him,

but you should just have told him that instead taking that illogical stance and

pretexting that his not wearing heels somehow invalidated his opinion.

I think the reason you got so miffed is that deep down you know he sort of has a point, wearing heels IS a matter of

appearing a certain way rather than actual pragmatism, and the reason you think they

"look good and make you feel more confident" is that you've been societally influenced to think so.

Again, you could have told him that you're aware of this but that it's still your decision to make or

told him off for being rude/giving unsolicited opinions, but going on a crusade about

the purported comfort of wearing heels made you look touchy as it's a bad faith argument.

Others, however, felt the woman overreacted by suggesting someone cannot have an opinion about something they have not personally experienced. Some argued that the health risks and discomfort associated with heels are well-documented regardless of gender.iolaus79 − NTA I'd ask him how often he has worn heels to develop this personal opinion BTW I found when

I wore heels all the time I found them comfortable (ie all my shoes had at least 2inch heels minimum,

if I wasn't in them I was barefoot) and would wear higher heels (5-6inch) to go out without any issue,

now I mainly wear flats I do find when I wear heels (even the height that I would have worn all day)

after a while they are uncomfortable (but also pretty so I still do wear them)

melowd20273 − INFO: What brand of heels do you get? I'm looking for new shoes and I love comfy heels

Edit: oh wow thank you for all the responses! Definitely gonna look into these brands

Dana07620 − YTA So, unless you experience something yourself you're not allowed to have an opinion on it?

So. ..never having experienced gun violence I can't have an opinion on it.

For that matter, I've never been mugged or had my purse snatched.

The house across the street from me burned down, but mine didn't so I can't have an opinion on fire safety.

Fortunately (I guess in your way of thinking), I was s__ually molested as a child so I get to have an opinion on that one.

I guess this post will get downvoted, but I find your basic premise that

unless you've experienced something personally that you can't have an opinion on it to be ridiculous.

Incidentally, heels are as uncomfortable as f__k. I hate them.

I have never worn a comfortable pair of heels in my life. Give me sneakers.

klouroo − NTA - even my little nieces know it’s rude to yuck someone’s yum

At the end of the day, people wear uncomfortable things constantly. Sometimes for confidence, sometimes for beauty, sometimes simply because it makes them feel like themselves.

The real issue here was not whether heels can hurt. Plenty of women openly say they do.

The issue was a man confidently insisting he understood women’s experiences better than the woman describing her own.

And honestly, nothing makes a conversation spiral faster than someone explaining your own feet to you.

Was she too harsh for snapping back, or was her friend being unnecessarily judgmental about something that did not affect him at all?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

CTV4

CTV4

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