What seemed like a straightforward comment about weight ended up causing tension in one marriage. After noticing his wife’s jeans didn’t fit, a husband casually mentioned that she still had her “baby weight.”
Despite his intention to be open and honest, his wife took offense and accused him of calling her unattractive, which led to a sleepless night with tension between them.
The husband now feels conflicted, he didn’t mean to insult her, but he’s left wondering if he should have kept his thoughts to himself.
Was his comment an innocent observation, or did he make a bigger mistake than he realized?
The scenario involves a husband making a comment to his wife about her “baby weight”, pointing out that since giving birth to twins she has remained at a higher weight and dismissed her appearance change as simply “still having her baby weight.”
Although the husband insists he didn’t mean it as a criticism of her attractiveness, the wife responded as though he was rejecting her body and made her feel unattractive.
Research on postpartum body image and weight issues demonstrates that remarks about a woman’s body in the post‑pregnancy period are rarely neutral; they often carry emotional weight.
For instance, a systematic review found that postpartum body dissatisfaction is significantly associated with partner pressure over appearance and higher internalisation of the thin ideal.
Another article discussed how more than half of pregnant or postpartum women reported experiencing weight‑related stigma from family members, friends or partners, these comments can lead to increased stress, depressive symptoms and avoidance of exercise or self‑care.
The husband’s intent might have been to simply point out a fact from his perspective (“you haven’t lost the baby‑weight yet”), but from the wife’s perspective it came across as a judgment about her body, worth, and the effort she is or isn’t putting into returning to a former shape.
According to body‑image research, when women feel their body is being evaluated by a partner, especially after childbirth, it correlates with lower body satisfaction and emotional distress.
The husband should recognise that his comment touched on a sensitive subject area and that even innocent‐intended remarks can be hurtful. He could apologise for how his comment made her feel and clarify that his admiration for her is unchanged.
Going forward, he should avoid unsolicited commentary on her body or weight, especially given the complex changes of pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum recovery.
Instead of pointing out “you still have the baby weight,” a more supportive stance would be: “I know your body has gone through so much with our children, and I’m here for you if you ever want to talk about how you feel about your body or if you want to make any changes together.”
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
These Redditors questioned how OP could expect his wife to find time for the gym when she’s already managing three young children.
These users pointed out that OP’s comment could have easily been perceived as fat-shaming, even if it wasn’t intended that way.
These commenters took a firm stance against OP’s behavior, saying that he needed to recognize and appreciate the sacrifices his wife made by carrying and raising their children.
These Redditors took the conversation a step further, asking OP to consider how much he contributes to the household and childcare duties.
While the OP may have thought he was being honest and supportive, commenting on someone’s weight, especially a sensitive topic like postpartum weight, can be deeply hurtful.
The OP’s intention might have been to highlight a fact, but the way it was phrased made his wife feel judged.
Was he wrong for pointing it out, or was it just a simple misunderstanding between two people who are “too open”? How would you have approached this delicate issue? Share your thoughts below!
