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“It’s Unfair She Has a Dog”: Boyfriend Buys a Cat Behind Her Back and Regrets It

by Charles Butler
January 27, 2026
in Social Issues

We often hear that opposites attract, but there are certain deal-breakers that can test even the strongest relationships. Sometimes it is about money, sometimes it is about where to live, and quite often, it is about our furry friends. The age-old battle between “cat people” and “dog people” is usually just a playful rivalry.

However, a recent story shared by a Reddit user shows what happens when that rivalry turns serious. A young father decided to bring a cat home despite his girlfriend’s known dislike for them, leading to a heartbreaking showdown. The situation escalated quickly, involving a returned pet, a stressed-out dog, and a very tense household. It raises some big questions about compromise and respect in a shared home.

Let’s take a look at what happened.

The Story

"It's Unfair She Has a Dog": Boyfriend Buys a Cat Behind Her Back and Regrets It
Not the actual photo

AITA for giving my SO the silent treatment after she got rid of my cat?

I (24 male) absolutely adore cats. I mean I love them more than anything but my SO Sophia(21female) hates cats. We have twins together.

I had a cat when we started dating but I put him down a month after we moved in together due to multiple health issues.

If my cat was young and healthy she wouldn’t have wanted to stay with me but he was old and unhealthy so she had no problem with it.

Sophia has a two year old small dog Oli (dachshund). The dog moved in with us a month after my cat passed due to her dog

being really uncomfortable around cats. Recently I’ve really really wanted another cat but Sophia would always refuse me. I got tired of it yesterday because

it’s unfair how she has a pet but I can get one. So yesterday I brought home a 3 year old cat. The cat was chill

but Oli had a huge overreaction and hid. When I would try to get him out of hiding and to loosen up he would snap

and start barking. Oli came out of hiding when Sophia got home and she unleashed hell on me. She told me the “b__tard” cat

had to be gone tomorrow or else she was getting rid of it herself. I didn’t believe her and today when I came home

all of the cat’s things and cat were gone. I was upset and asked her what she did with my cat. She said she

returned it to the shelter. I yelled that returning it to a shelter was stressing it out.

She said she didn’t give a f__k and that it wouldn’t have happened had I not got the cat in the first place.

She ended it off with the fact that this home was Oli’s home not whatever cat I bring in. I’ve since stopped talking to and she said I’m petty.

Oh, this is such a messy and heartbreaking situation for everyone involved, especially the poor animals. My heart goes out to the OP because missing the comfort of a pet is a genuine ache. When you are an animal lover, living without that companionship can feel really lonely.

However, it is hard to ignore the communication breakdown here. Bringing a living creature into a home that has explicitly said “no” is a recipe for disaster. It is sad that the cat had to experience that stress, and it is equally sad that the couple is now treating each other as opponents rather than partners. It feels like this goes much deeper than just a cat versus a dog.

Expert Opinion

This story highlights a classic relationship hurdle: the difference between a unilateral decision and a joint agreement. In a healthy partnership, major changes to the household, like bringing in a new family member, human or animal, require what experts call the “Two Yes, One No” rule. If one person says no, the answer has to be no until a compromise is found.

According to Psychology Today, disregarding a partner’s explicit boundary often signals a deeper issue with respect. When the OP brought the cat home, he wasn’t just getting a pet; he was telling his partner that his wants overruled her comfort. This often leads to “tit-for-tat” retaliation, which we saw when she returned the cat.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a clinical psychologist at The Family Institute, suggests that resentment builds when partners feel unheard. She notes that “ignoring a partner’s ‘no’ breaks trust.” In this case, the OP felt it was “unfair” that she had a dog, but keeping score in a relationship rarely ends well.

Furthermore, the Humane Society emphasizes that rehoming is stressful for animals. Introducing a cat to a reactive dog without a slow, weeks-long integration plan was dangerous for both pets. The swift return to the shelter likely caused confusion and fear for the cat.

From a psychological standpoint, the silent treatment is also a form of emotional manipulation. Instead of addressing the core incompatibility, that they have fundamentally different visions for their home life, they are engaging in a power struggle. With twins involved, finding a way to communicate without “winning” is crucial for the family’s future stability.

Community Opinions

The Reddit community had very strong feelings about this, largely feeling that the OP made a huge mistake by ignoring his partner’s boundaries.

Many users pointed out that if he loves cats and she hates them, they might simply be wrong for each other.

Ghast-light − ESH. You’re not compatible and you’re making each other miserable...

It wouldn’t be so bad if it was a disagreement over furniture, but you’re both making innocent animals lives worse.

Stormschance − ESH. Frankly the moment you learned she hated cats was the moment you should have ended the relationship.

Not saying she’s a bad person just that cat lovers and cat haters shouldn’t be together...

RevolutionaryWar3404 − Why did you continue a relationship with her if you knew she hated cats and you love them?

Did you think you could change her mind?

Commenters were heartbroken for the cat, noting that it was unfair to bring an animal into a home where it wasn’t wanted.

Packwood88 − YTA... For some reason you still thought it was a bright idea to bring a cat home WITHOUT ASKING knowing she was going to hate it.

Now you’re surprised she took it to a shelter? What did you think would happen?

soog0704 − YTA for: 1. Getting a pet without consent from your partner

2. Intentionally buying a pet that you know your partner doesn't like... 4. Giving your partner the silent treatment...

Emergency_Ad_5935 − Absolutely wrong to use a shelter animal just to have a pissing contest with your wife.

Users felt the OP’s claim of “unfairness” was childish and that he provoked the situation.

Thrwwy747 − So you think it's unfair that she has a pet, so you got one that you knew would make her pet uncomfortable?

Dude, get over yourself... I'd hazard a guess that you're selfish and thoughtless in other aspects of your relationship too.

Shadesofoneself − YTA Pets fall into the 2 yes, 1 no category. She said no and you went behind her back.

originalkelly88 − What makes her giving the cat back without your consent not ok, when you chose to get one without her consent?

If it is your shared home, you have to make shared decisions.

Some were baffled by how this couple communicates, considering they have children together.

Myobright2344 − Did you all miss that they have twins together?...

They have to coparent together and this is how he communicates and how she responds

Slight-Bar-534 − It's unfair she has a pet but you don't. ..are you 5 ? ?

Now your having a tantrum by giving her the silent treatment Grow up YTA

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you are feeling resentful because your partner has something you do not, it is time for a very honest conversation, not a surprise action. The first step here is to break the silence. The silent treatment only builds a higher wall between you two.

You might sit down and say, “I am incredibly hurt that the cat is gone, but I also know I was wrong to bring him home without your agreement.” Acknowledging your part in the mess is the only way to lower the temperature.

For the future, you need to decide if living a cat-free life is a dealbreaker for you. If it is, that is a valid feeling, but it cannot be solved by forcing an animal into a home where it isn’t welcome. Prioritize the safety of the pets and the peace of your children above the need to “win” the argument.

Conclusion

This story serves as a tough lesson on boundaries and the well-being of our pets. While the OP’s desire for a companion is understandable, the execution caused pain for everyone involved. A pet should never be a surprise weapon in a relationship conflict.

Do you think the girlfriend was right to take matters into her own hands, or should she have handled it differently? How do you resolve conflicts when your wants are total opposites? We would love to hear your thoughts on this tricky situation.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/4 votes | 25%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 1/4 votes | 25%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/4 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 2/4 votes | 50%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/4 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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