Workplace dynamics can sometimes be tricky, and what starts as a simple favor can quickly lead to expectations. For one Redditor, refusing to give a new coworker a ride to the airport became a bigger issue than anticipated. He didn’t want to get stuck in the cycle of always being the one to give rides, and he also wasn’t thrilled about the strong cigarette smell the coworker carried.
After hearing that his refusal upset people and that his coworker wasn’t happy, the Redditor started to second-guess his decision. Was he in the wrong for not helping out, or was it perfectly reasonable to set a boundary, especially considering the circumstances? Keep reading to see how others reacted to this office dilemma.
A worker refuses to drive a new coworker to the airport, setting a boundary to avoid expectations
This is a situation that many people have likely encountered: being asked to do a favor by a coworker, and then feeling uncertain about whether or not to agree.
In this case, OP’s coworker asked him to drop him off at the airport after working a three-week shift together. OP politely declined, citing a few reasons: the coworker’s heavy cigarette and cigar smell, and OP’s reluctance to become “the guy who always takes people to the airport.” Now, OP is left wondering if he was being too harsh or unreasonable.
At the heart of this situation is the concept of boundary setting. Dr. Henry Cloud, an expert in the psychology of boundaries, explains that boundaries are essential for maintaining our emotional health and protecting our personal space: “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me”.
OP set a clear boundary when he said no to the airport ride. He understood that agreeing to this favor would create an expectation for him to continue offering the same help in the future, and he wasn’t comfortable with that.
By saying no, OP preserved his autonomy and set a limit on what he was willing to do, which is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships, both at work and in personal life.
There’s also a psychological concept called psychological reactance, which can explain why OP’s refusal felt like such a strong response. When people feel like their freedom to choose is threatened, they often push back.
Dr. Jack W. Brehm, who first coined the theory of reactance, explains that “psychological reactance is a motivational state that is aroused when individuals perceive a threat to or loss of their behavioral freedoms”.
In OP’s case, by agreeing to this request, he might have felt like he was losing the ability to say no to future favors. So, the refusal was about maintaining control over his own time and choices.
It’s common for small, seemingly harmless requests, like a ride to the airport, to snowball into larger expectations over time. OP was mindful of this, and by refusing, he avoided putting himself in a position where he felt like he had to say yes every time someone asked for a favor.
This kind of self-awareness is key to keeping personal boundaries intact, especially in work environments where people may take advantage of each other’s generosity.
In the end, OP wasn’t being rude or unreasonable. He was simply protecting his own boundaries. While his coworker may have been disappointed or frustrated, OP had the right to say no, and doing so was an act of self-care.
It’s a good reminder that we don’t have to say yes to every request, especially if it goes against our comfort or principles. Setting clear boundaries is not only important for our own well-being, but it also helps maintain respectful relationships without feeling overburdened or taken advantage of.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
These commenters agreed that the OP was not obligated to help
This group emphasized the discomfort of being around someone who smells of smoke and agreed that the OP was right to set boundaries
These Redditors shared experiences of similar situations and warned against setting a precedent where coworkers expect rides regularly
These commenters argued that transportation to and from the airport should be the company’s responsibility
Was the worker in the wrong for refusing to take their co-worker to the airport? How would you have handled this situation? Have you ever set boundaries at work that caused a stir? Share your thoughts below!
