My Adult Son Is Broke and Expects My Teen Daughter to Be His Personal Maid

A father decided to offer sanctuary to his 38-year-old son, Jeremy, who recently hit financial rock bottom. This act of familial kindness immediately backfired.

Within days, Jeremy, his pregnant wife (DIL), and his own teenage son turned the house upside down. They targeted the only remaining minor child, 16-year-old Nora, demanding she hand over her car, her private bathroom, and even her non-vegan food.

When the father refused to “solve the problem” by forcing Nora to comply, he was labeled an [jerk] and had to resort to threatening eviction to protect his daughter.

Now, read the full story:

This is less of a family dynamic problem and more of a hostile takeover. Jeremy, the 38-year-old adult, brought his entire family—his pregnant wife, his teenage son, and an incoming baby—into his parents’ home for free, only to immediately try to bully the 16-year-old minor who actually lives there.

The sheer entitlement is staggering. Nora is a resident and a minor dependent; Jeremy is a guest granted temporary charity. Yet, Jeremy and his family feel justified in demanding her car, her private space, and even access to her personal food stash.

The father’s decision to shut down the drama by threatening eviction was not only correct, it was necessary. When charity is met with demands, it stops being charity and becomes abuse. His first and only legal responsibility is to his minor child, Nora.

When an adult son who is accustomed to an independent life suddenly loses everything and is forced back into his childhood home, the psychological fallout can manifest in several destructive ways. Often, the adult guest overcompensates for their loss of control by trying to exert control over the few things they can—in this case, his younger sister and the house rules.

As Susan Heitler, Ph.D., notes in Psychology Today, adult children who move back home often fail to transition from “guest” to “contributing adult,” and instead regress into entitled “child” behavior.

This entitlement is often projected onto siblings. Dr. Heitler notes, “If a parent offers refuge, the guest must respect the established rules and hierarchy of the home, prioritizing the minor dependents.” 

Jeremy’s demands—the car, the bathroom, the quiet house—were not requests for shared space; they were attempts to displace Nora and make her sacrifice her stability and identity for their convenience.

It’s crucial that the father did not back down, especially regarding the car. According to a 2023 study by The Zebra, 77% of parents believe that a car fosters independence and responsibility in teenagers.

Taking Nora’s primary source of freedom for a dependent 38-year-old would have been a devastating blow to her self-esteem and autonomy.

Check out how the community responded:

The entire community sided with Nora and her father, condemning Jeremy as a “greedy, entitled mooch” who abused his parents’ charity.

Redditors detailed the sheer audacity of Jeremy’s demands, especially concerning Nora’s food and the car.

The community universally supported the father’s threat of eviction as the only necessary solution to protect his minor child.

The father made the right call in drawing a firm line. His primary duty is to the minor living in his house, not to his adult son whose failure in life should not be Nora’s problem.

Jeremy and his family need a reality check that gratitude and respect are required when living rent-free. The father’s threat to “solve the problem by kicking them out” was the only language Jeremy seemed to understand.

Should the father have kicked them out immediately, or was the warning enough? Do you think Jeremy will escalate his demands or actually reform his behavior?