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She Calls Out Pool Blockers By Splashing Them, Now They’re Crying About Ruined Hair

by Leona Pham
March 26, 2026
in Social Issues

Public spaces always come with an unspoken rulebook. Everyone thinks they understand how things should work until someone else breaks that invisible agreement. That is when small annoyances can quickly turn into something way more heated than expected.

In this story, one woman was simply trying to stick to her usual swimming routine when two strangers stepped right into her path and refused to budge. What followed was a mix of frustration, splashing, and a confrontation that didn’t end at the pool.

Now she is wondering if she crossed a line or just stood her ground. Keep reading to see how things escalated.

One woman’s swim session took a dramatic turn when her lane, well, unofficial lane was suddenly occupied

She Calls Out Pool Blockers By Splashing Them, Now They’re Crying About Ruined Hair
not actual the photo

'AITA for splashing women with water at the pool?'

Swimming is my (f, 31) hobby and how I keep healthy. My favorite swimming pool is the local university pool.

As a graduate I have access, but they also have community hours when people from the town can pay and swim.

It doesn’t do lane swimming, but typically everyone knows to stay away from those doing laps.

I was doing laps at the far end with the pool wall on my side, so I couldn’t move if I wanted to.

I was mid-session when two women my age jumped right in front of me and just stood there by the wall on the shallow end.

I couldn’t stop in time and pushed from the wall between them, forcing them to move aside.

I was being more careful the next lap, but they just kept standing there.

There was plenty of space on the other side of the pool where they could stand and chat without bothering anyone,

but they chose to stand right in front of me. So I continued swimming, pushing from the wall.

If they refused to move, I just turned in water, making sure to make a big splash.

I took a break to drink some water, and one of them started screaming at me about how I got her hair all wet.

Told her it’s her fault and continued swimming.

She waited for me in the changing rooms and went on about how I was inconsiderate and how I ruined her hair.

I told her to f__k off. She started going off at me and started screaming, calling me an a__hole an a b__ch.

I grabbed my stuff and went to one of the cubicles to have a shower and change.

When I was leaving, they were talking to the manager; one of them was crying about her hair.

I told my sister, and she thinks I was an a__hole but I didn’t think so before. Now, with my sister agreeing, I worry that I might have been. AITA?

Edit: Just to add, I was the only person there when they came in.

They had the whole pool to stand in; they chose to purposefully stand in front of me without swimming at all.

Edit 2: The pool is 25 m long, and you swim lengthwise, from the deep to the shallow end and back.

They had the whole shallow end wall free except for the meter or so I used for kicking off.

I didn’t take the whole shallow end. Who would do laps there (except for kids)?

Edit 3: While there are no designated lap lanes, lap swimming isn’t forbidden.

Typically, during open swim, 75% of swimmers do lap swimming.

Edit 4: they weren’t older ladies; they were about my age (early 30s).

Edit 5: i didn’t leave the pool to grab water; I had water on the edge along with my other stuff for drills or my earplugs, etc.

This is perfectly normal and acceptable.

According to Psychology Today, many people instinctively avoid confrontation because it feels awkward or emotionally risky. Instead of addressing an issue directly, they choose indirect behaviors like ignoring, walking away, or reacting passively.

In the pool situation, this dynamic becomes very clear. Instead of calmly asking the two women to move, the swimmer chose a more indirect route, continuing her routine and escalating through splashing. On the other side, the two women didn’t attempt to clarify the situation either. Both sides avoided that one simple but uncomfortable step: clear communication.

This avoidance often stems from a deeper psychological pattern. As noted by Psychology Today, people tend to dodge situations that might cause anxiety, rejection, or tension, even if that avoidance leads to bigger problems later. In other words, what feels easier in the moment, staying silent or reacting indirectly, can quickly spiral into misunderstanding.

But avoidance is only half the story. How conflict begins also plays a major role in how it unfolds. Research by John Gottman, summarized on Integral, highlights the concept of a “harsh startup.” This refers to starting an interaction with criticism, irritation, or passive-aggressive behavior, which almost guarantees the situation will escalate.

In this case, splashing water wasn’t just a physical action; it functioned as a nonverbal “harsh startup.” Instead of opening with something neutral or cooperative, the interaction began with tension. Gottman’s research shows that once conflict starts this way, it often triggers defensive reactions, creating a chain of negativity that’s hard to reverse.

What’s interesting is that neither side necessarily intended to create a dramatic conflict. One person wanted to exercise; the others wanted to relax. But without communication, both sides filled in the blanks with assumptions, and those assumptions quickly turned into frustration.

From a practical standpoint, experts consistently suggest a simple solution: address issues early, directly, and calmly. A quick, respectful request could have prevented the escalation entirely.

At its core, this story reflects a universal pattern: when people avoid small moments of discomfort, they often end up facing much bigger conflicts later.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These Redditors backed OP, saying getting wet at a pool is expected

The_Spade_Joker − If you go to a pool but don't want to get your hair wet, you wear a cap. Simple as that.

You were already there; those two had all the pool space but chose to stand there and get mad at you for something

they could've avoided in more than one way. NTA

Intrepid-Camel-9797 − Nta. Swimming pools are full of water.

If she didn't want wet hair, then she should either wear a swimming cap or find a different form of exercise/chatting place

Important_Donut_4746 − You're in a pool and complaining about your hair getting wet?

If you ever see them again, I'd practice your cannonball entry form into the pool

because you are NTA for splashing them, especially when it wasn't intentional.

This group agreed both sides were wrong and poor communication escalated things

PsilosirenRose − ESH You missed the "using your words to ask" step before you decided to passive-aggressively splash them.

They were being inconsiderate AHs, but you escalated beyond what was necessary.

vaguelycatshaped − ESH. I read the comments, and if stopping for two minutes to politely ask them to move

somewhere else would have made you "lose your focus," then you shouldn't be doing your workout during community hours.

Or you could have just started swimming away from them if the pool was empty except for you three.

It seems the only reason you didn't move was because of it.... They also could move, and they didn't. That does seem like kind of a childish reason.

However, it is a pool, and this lady has to accept that her hair might get wet by accident, and she shouldn't have started screaming and insulting you.

Water_genasi − ESH. I was a D1 swimmer. Lordy, I know how annoying these situations can be.

But they may not know if they didn't grow up in that environment. There wasn't lane swimming nor posted rules.

You were way rude and could have solved this problem by asking them to give you a lil space.

That being said, it's a pool, and water does be wet.

mutualbuttsqueezin − ESH. It's a public pool with no designated lane for swimming laps.

You're not entitled to force your way through others to do laps. Complaining to the manager over hair getting wet at a pool is too much.

These users called OP out, saying she acted entitled and deliberately rude

lawbaker − YTA. I’m a swimmer as well, but unless a pool has dedicated lap swimming, you aren’t entitled to an entire length of the pool.

Part of the deal with lap swimming during rec hours is you’ll lose your “lane” if the rec swimmers take up residence in your path.

Extra YTA for splashing on purpose and cursing at her.

CZ1988_ − YTA - There was no lane swimming. Next time, ask them to move before being passive aggressive.

S70nkyK0ng − YTA - Please don’t take up cycling

Samael13 − YTA - It's a public pool that doesn't do lane swimming.

The first time you went by them and pushed them out of the way could maybe be excused as an accident

(but, really, how fast are you swimming that you "couldn't stop in time"?), but then you kept doing it.

On purpose. Without ever bothering to stop and say, "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm doing laps here;

would you mind moving over slightly so I can finish up?" And if there was plenty of room on the other side of the pool

for them to stand, then there was also plenty of room on the other side of the pool for you to swim.

Then, when they continued to try to enjoy the shallow end of the pool, you started deliberately splashing them?

You were absolutely the AH in this situation. They were right; you were being rude and inconsiderate.

It wasn't their fault that her hair got wet; it was yours for deliberately splashing her.

These folks stressed basic communication, saying a simple request could avoid conflict

[Reddit User] − Is civility an option for you at all?

Could you have said, "Excuse me, I want to do laps on this edge of the pool; would you mind moving?"

Or do you go directly to big splashes and F-bombs? ESH, mostly you.

[Reddit User] − ESH. I'm slightly older than you and have swum competitively.

I used to work out at the local YMCA, which had designated swim lanes.

Sometimes an elderly person who wanted to water walk or just float would jump into my lane.

I always paused and asked if they were ok splitting the lane or swimming circles.

It took a whopping 5 seconds out of my workout for some basic consideration.

Out of 100s of trips to the Y, I only had one issue where an old lady yelled at me for the same thing;

I splashed too much while I swam, and I got her hair wet. I reminded her she was swimming in a pool and left it at that.

From your comments, it sounds like there was no designated swim lane; hence, it was an open "shared" pool.

Everyone could have benefited from some quick communication, but no one took any initiative to do so.

Instead, you took turns sniping. Congrats, you're both A-holes.

[Reddit User] − ESH. You are for splashing them on purpose. Them, because they didn't move out of your way.

This user questioned unclear pool rules and whether lap swimming norms even applied

UsualConferenceSnack − INFO: It doesn’t do lane swimming, but typically everyone knows to stay away from those doing laps.

To what degree is this an unspoken courtesy that regulars simply concede to versus what,

if any, posted regulations are there on the wall of the pool?

I don't think I've ever been to a pool with public access that didn't have the rules on the wall.

In the end, this wasn’t just about pool etiquette; it was about how quickly small frustrations can snowball when no one pauses to communicate. One side felt blocked, and the other felt attacked, and suddenly, a casual swim turned into full-blown drama.

So what do you think? Was the swimmer justified in holding her ground, or did she escalate things unnecessarily? And in a shared space like this, who really has the “right of way”? Drop your thoughts, because this one’s making waves for a reason.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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