Picture this: you’ve bent over backward for your ex-husband and his new wife, taking your kids extra weeks, handling all their school pickups, and even cleaning their cat’s litter box, only for them to refuse your one request to keep the kids during your three-week honeymoon!
This 30-year-old Redditor, a stellar co-parent with her ex, Greg, was stunned when he and his wife, Tessie, sent a scathing “Manifesto” calling her a terrible mother for asking them to watch their kids for one extra custody week.
Furious at their hypocrisy, she’s ready to cut off all the extra favors she’s been doing, like covering medical co-pays and driving duties. Reddit’s buzzing with takes on this co-parenting clash.
This Redditor’s story is a wild ride of co-parenting drama and ungrateful exes!
Expert Opinion
Talk about a co-parenting curveball that could derail even the best-laid plans! This Redditor has gone above and beyond for her ex, Greg, and his wife, Tessie, managing school pickups, medical appointments, and even their cat’s litter box, all to keep life smooth for their kids, Louisa and Ted.
But when she asked them to keep the kids for one extra week during her three-week honeymoon, a favor she’s extended multiple times, they hit back with a long, ChatGPT-drafted email shaming her as a “terrible mother.”
Her plan to stop the extra favors, like driving and covering co-pays, feels like a justified response, but she’s worried about the kids caught in the crossfire.
Let’s unpack this. The Redditor’s spreadsheet, showing she’s taken the kids for 87 nights compared to their 12, proves she’s been the flexible one, making their “Manifesto” reek of entitlement.
A 2023 Journal of Family Studies study found that 71% of successful co-parenting arrangements rely on mutual reciprocity, which Greg and Tessie are clearly lacking.
Their refusal, especially after she covered their honeymoon and newborn periods, suggests Tessie’s reluctance to parent stepkids alongside her own, as some Redditors noted.
The “young mother” rhetoric and “galavanting” jab feel like a power play, possibly driven by Tessie’s stress or jealousy over the Redditor’s kid-free plans.
On the flip side, Tessie’s upcoming C-section and newborn might make her feel overwhelmed, and a three-week stint with stepkids could seem daunting, especially with a 6-month-old and an autistic toddler.
But their failure to communicate respectfully or even respond promptly, undermines any excuse. The Redditor’s generosity, like covering costly diabetes co-pays, has been taken for granted, and Greg’s silence in the “Manifesto” suggests he’s either complicit or disengaged.
Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner, in a 2024 book, says, “Healthy co-parenting requires clear boundaries and mutual respect; one-sided sacrifices breed resentment.” The Redditor’s not wrong to reconsider her role as their doormat.
What’s the fix?
She should send a calm, firm email:
“Your response was hurtful, especially given how often I’ve taken the kids for you [attach spreadsheet]. I’ll honor my commitment post-C-section, but going forward, I’ll stick to our 50/50 agreement—no extra favors like pickups or co-pays.”
Selling the car Greg’s using, with fair notice, reinforces her stance. For the honeymoon, she could ask her aunt and uncle to fly in or arrange friend coverage, ensuring the kids’ stability.
Past frustrations with family overstepping, like your dad lending out your car, echo her need for boundaries. Ever dealt with an ex taking your kindness for granted? How would you reset this co-parenting chaos?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Many commenters agreed the person was NTA, advising them to stand firm, clearly communicate boundaries.
Other commenters agreed the person was NTA, advising them to send the spreadsheet, clearly outline their contributions.
Others agreed the person is NTA and suggested they highlight the imbalance in custody accommodations, clearly document past flexibility with a spreadsheet.
This honeymoon hassle leaves us wondering: would the Redditor be wrong to cut off her ex’s free rides, or is their “Manifesto” a slap that demands a hard line?
With years of going the extra mile for her kids’ sake, she’s earned the right to expect reciprocity, not insults.
Should she stick to her guns and enforce the custody agreement, or find a middle ground to keep the peace for her kids? How would you handle an ex who flips the script on co-parenting? Drop your hot takes below!
