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This Best Friend Spilled the Truth About a Secret “Sugar Daddy” Arrangement

by Charles Butler
December 27, 2025
in Social Issues

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where the truth felt like a heavy weight you simply had to put down? We often talk about loyalty to our friends as a sacred bond that shouldn’t be broken. But what happens when that loyalty feels like it is making you an accomplice to a very deep and hurtful deception?

A Redditor recently shared a story that sounds like the plot of a dramatic movie, leaving the internet divided on whether she did the right thing. It involves a “sugar daddy” arrangement, a bereavement support group, and a series of lies that reached all the way to a supposedly late grandmother.

When the narrator met the fiancé at a party, the clash between her friend’s story and his reality led to a moment of total honesty that changed three lives forever.

The Story

This Best Friend Spilled the Truth About a Secret “Sugar Daddy” Arrangement
Not the actual photo

AITA for telling my best friend's ex fiance the truth about why she married him?

My best friend since uni got engaged to a guy she always referred to as her sugar daddy.

She told me they had a mutual arrangement where she provided her company and having a baby someday

in exchange for a lifestyle of luxury. She said he bought them a £500,000 house, let her do anything she wanted, and got her an expensive car.

Although I am not into that, I was happy she was happy. But lately I met the guy at a party for another friend.

He told me how they had met at a support group for bereavement and how she befriended him

and helped him get over his wife who had passed from cancer. He said he was amazed he found love again.

My friend had said she met him on a sugar dating website. My kneejerk reqction was shock and I told him the truth.

He left her and she hates me, saying I am a b__ch because I don't know how it is to grow up in poverty

and that I was just jealous she was rich now. Was I wrong? I do feel bad she lost her happiness but I don't think he deserved that....

Also I forgot to mention her ex told me he also supported her through her nan's death but I know as a fact her nan is alive and well.

Oh, goodness, reading this feels like walking through a minefield of complicated emotions. It is truly difficult to hear that someone might use a support group for grieving people as a way to find a partner for a financial arrangement. Support groups are supposed to be such safe and sacred spaces for healing hearts.

My heart really goes out to the fiancé in this story, who seemed so genuine in his belief that he had found love again after a great loss. While I understand why the best friend feels like her happiness was taken away, the foundation of that happiness seems quite fragile when built on such a big secret. Transitioning into the psychological effects of this kind of honesty can help us understand why this choice was so impactful.

Expert Opinion

This story touches on a very deep and painful area of human relationships known as predatory grooming or social deception. When someone enters a vulnerable space like a bereavement group under false pretenses, it creates a massive breach of trust. Experts often describe people who do this as seeking out those in high emotional distress because their defenses are naturally lowered.

According to research from the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, individuals experiencing grief are statistically more likely to miss red flags in new social connections. This is because the need for comfort can sometimes cloud our logical judgment during the early stages of mourning. A report by the Better Business Bureau also highlights that relationship scams often peak after a person has experienced a significant life loss or transition.

Dr. Wendy L. Patrick, an expert on relationship behavior, notes that transparency is the essential cornerstone of any lasting union. In her work featured in Psychology Today, she explains that when the beginning of a relationship is built on a “foundational lie,” the health of that partnership is already at risk.

She says that discovering a secret about a partner’s true motives can cause a person to feel a deep sense of betrayal that is very hard to heal.

Offering advice in this situation requires looking at the intent behind the truth. If the truth was shared to prevent further emotional harm to a vulnerable person, it can be seen as a protective act. While it is hard to lose a friend, keeping such a secret could have made the narrator feel like she was helping someone else get hurt. The father’s experience shows that eventually, the weight of a secret often becomes too much for it to remain hidden forever.

Community Opinions

The online community was very vocal about this situation, with many people feeling a deep sense of shock over the friend’s actions.

The general feeling was that the fiancé deserved to know the truth before he committed his life to a relationship built on lies.

Kara93 − NTA she was a predator in someone's time of bereavement thats cold and calculating

Aradene − Wow NTA... he lost someone he loved, thought he found someone else only to learn that he was just a mark... That’s some brutal s__t right there.

Ok-Hyena-7753 − NTA, you did the guy a favour, and saved him from more sadness... anyone that can prey on someone like this, is never going to be good news.

PhishyStik − Nta, I suppose it wasn't any of your business, but I mean you're doing the guy a favor.

Many readers questioned the character of the friend and suggested that it might be time for the narrator to find new connections.

ParsimoniousSalad − Your friend apparently trolled a bereavement support group for her poor target. Yuck. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA you should really cut her off, she's a very foul person

Sufficient-Nobody-72 − NTA. Time to ditch that "friend", she's terrible.

usernaym44 − NTA, but why is this awful person your best friend?

A few users found the story so dramatic that they questioned if it could really happen in modern life.

[Reddit User] − Info: So she was engaged to be married to a guy who bought her an expensive car before her best friend ever met him?

CronusTheDestoyer − This is all fake. Edit people think I don't understand this doesn't happen which it does...

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

When you find out a friend is keeping a life-altering secret from their partner, it is very natural to feel torn. The first step is to take some time to reflect on why you want to share the information. If you feel like the partner is in danger of being hurt or exploited, your protective instincts are valid.

It is often helpful to have a gentle and calm conversation with your friend first to explain your concerns. You might say, “I am really struggling with the fact that your fiancé thinks you met in a support group when that isn’t the truth.” Giving them a chance to be honest themselves is a kind way to handle it. However, if they refuse and the lie is harmful, choosing to speak up for a vulnerable person is an act of courage. It is okay to prioritize truth over a friendship that requires you to lie for them.

Conclusion

In the end, this situation reminds us all that honesty is the best policy if we want to build something that lasts. While it is sad to see a friendship end, it is even sadder to see a person being cared for by someone who is there for the wrong reasons. The truth is often messy and uncomfortable, but it provides a clean slate for everyone to find something real.

Do you think the narrator was right to step in and save the fiancé from a false marriage? Or should she have stayed quiet to keep her best friend’s secret? We are so curious to hear your thoughts on this very tricky moral dilemma!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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