After her husband’s death in a car accident, OP learned he was on a trip with his affair partner, revealing years of infidelity. The partner demanded to attend his funeral, but OP refused to protect her children, especially her eldest, who’s grappling with anger and grief.
Despite this, the partner showed up at the graveyard and later texted OP, calling her selfish. OP wonders if she was wrong to prioritize her family. Let’s explore the details and see what the online community thinks.
This story navigates grief, loyalty, and family boundaries. Was OP the a**hole?
This story reflects the complexity of grief and family boundaries after discovering infidelity. OP was right to prioritize her children’s emotional well-being, especially given the affair partner’s awareness of her role as the “other woman.”
Family psychologist Dr. Susan Forward notes, “Those involved in affairs must understand they have no claim to inclusion in family events, especially when their presence could cause further harm”.
The partner’s appearance at the graveyard was insensitive and possibly an attempt to assert her role, adding pain to the family. OP’s decision was justified, though her lingering guilt reflects natural empathy.
She should consider blocking the partner’s contact and focusing on supporting her children’s healing. A therapist could help OP navigate these complex emotions.
This case underscores the importance of protecting family during loss and setting firm boundaries with affair partners.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit strongly supports OP, condemning the affair partner’s audacity and affirming OP’s right to prioritize her family. Many empathize with her pain and urge her to block contact. Here’s a roundup of reactions.
Many criticize the partner’s boldness.
Some emphasize OP’s duty to her family.
A few share similar experiences.
![[Reddit User] − NTA. Though I'd have happily nudged her into the hole and encouraged her to enjoy eternity with him, I understand that you didn't want to cause a...](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/wp-editor-1758677095410-45.webp "Widow Bars Husband’s Affair Partner From Funeral, Faces Backlash")
![[Reddit User] − NTA. I am so sorry for everything that has happened. She sounds like a real piece of work.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/wp-editor-1758677099417-47.webp "Widow Bars Husband’s Affair Partner From Funeral, Faces Backlash")
OP was not wrong for barring her husband’s affair partner from the funeral, prioritizing her children’s emotional needs. Reddit agrees the partner’s presence and accusations were insensitive.
How can OP move past her guilt and focus on healing her family? Have you had to set boundaries during a time of grief? Share your stories!
