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Wife Calls Husband Irresponsible After He Lets Minor Son Get Tipsy

by Charles Butler
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

We have all seen that movie scene where the “cool parent” hands a teenager a beer and says, “I’d rather you do it here than out there.” It is a debate that has probably happened at dinner tables around the world. Is it better to demystify alcohol at home, or does that just open a dangerous door?

A Canadian father recently found himself in the middle of this exact dilemma. With his wife away handling a family emergency, he decided to give his 17-year-old son a crash course in alcohol tolerance before a big party. It was meant to be a safety lesson, but when his wife found out later, she was furious.

Now, he is wondering if his “test run” was a parenting win or a communication fail.

This is the story:

Wife Calls Husband Irresponsible After He Lets Minor Son Get Tipsy
Not the actual photo

AITA for suggesting/letting my 17 year old son get drunk?

I (46M) live with my wife and my 17 year old son. My wife has been on a different continent for about a month taking care of her dying mother,

so it has just been me and my son for that time. My son and I have a very close relationship where he tells me almost everything going on in...

On Saturday, he told me that he was going to his first ever high school party this upcoming weekend.

He was a bit nervous since he had never really drank before, but he knew that he was going to on that occasion.

I'm not sure if this is relevant, but this is in Canada where the drinking age is 19 (in my province), and teenage drinking is very common.

I asked my son if he wanted to have a few beers with me while we watched a sports game that night, as a "test run" of sorts.

My logic was that if he goes into the party with zero awareness of his tolerance then it could end badly, and it would be best for him

to find out his limit in the safety of his home with me. We had some beers over a few hours in the night, and I cut him off at...

(he has had beer in the past, but never more than one at a time). He was pretty drunk but he was okay, and slept it off.

We talked about it the next day, and we agreed that six was a bit much for him, and now he knows to have fewer than that at the party.

I was actually pretty content with this whole situation, since he had his "first experience" drinking in a safe environment,

and I feel much more comfortable with him going to a party now. However, in an effort to be transparent I told my wife about it

the other day over the phone, and she was livid. She thinks it was reckless and irresponsible.. AITA?

INFO: I understandably am getting flack for not telling my wife beforehand, but I figured she had enough going on

and I didn't need to bother her with something that seemed pretty trivial at the time. EDIT: Thanks for all the comments, I am reading every single one! I appreciate...

You can really feel the tension in this story, can’t you? On one hand, it is easy to empathize with the dad. He loves his son and wants to protect him from the dangers of binge drinking in an uncontrolled environment. It feels like a very practical, hands-on approach to safety. We have all worried about our loved ones making mistakes when we aren’t there to catch them.

But then, take a moment to step into the mom’s shoes. She is already under immense stress caring for a dying parent. To find out later that such a significant parenting milestone, and a risky one at that, happened without her input must feel incredibly isolating. It is a reminder that even the best intentions can cause friction when communication slips through the cracks.

Expert Opinion

This father’s approach touches on a strategy often called “harm reduction.” The logic is that by allowing teens to drink in a safe environment, they learn limits without the pressure of peers. It is a very common mindset in many European cultures. However, researchers are still debating its effectiveness.

A study published in The Lancet Public Health suggests that parental supply of alcohol doesn’t always protect against risky drinking later. In fact, some data indicates it might normalize the behavior. It is a tricky balance between removing the “forbidden fruit” appeal and accidentally validating underage drinking.

Beyond the alcohol, there is the relationship dynamic to consider. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, talks about the importance of “shared meaning” in families. Big decisions like introducing a child to alcohol are usually best made together.

When one parent acts unilaterally, especially on a sensitive topic, it can erode trust. It’s not necessarily about asking for “permission,” but about respecting the partnership. In this case, a quick text or call might have bridged the gap. It serves as a gentle reminder to all of us that in co-parenting, keeping the other person in the loop is just as important as the decision itself.

Community Opinions

The Reddit community had a fascinating mix of reactions. Some folks applauded the dad for his realism, while others felt he really dropped the ball on communication.

Many readers felt the dad was doing a great job by removing the mystery around alcohol.

[Reddit User] − NTA. sounds like your intention was to teach your son not to binge drink.

buttcheeseahoy − NAH and honestly if you have raised a 17 year old who felt comfortable having

that honest conversation with you before going to the party, good for you. You’ve been doing something right.

emmasdragons − NTA. She thinks it was reckless and irresponsible. Nothing about what you did was irresponsible or reckless.

Your son had a few beers at home, he didn't get "wasted" and he also didn't throw up or end up in a ditch. You were there with him, nothing...

Jannon-Smitty − NTA. That’s good parenting. Your kid would most likely have gone anyway even if you didn’t drink with him.

He was in a safe environment and knew beforehand what his limit should be.

A significant number of people pointed out that while the idea might have been sound, leaving his wife out was a mistake.

inaboutaminute − YTA. Not for what you did (albeit unconventional), but rather for not letting your wife in on this decision.

You should consider that things like this are going to be amplified given the nature of what she's going through.

seeashbashrun − YTA, not for what you did, but because of how you handled it with your wife. For one, you should have run the idea by her.

And not just because of how she might feel about 'alcohol'. If you you were motivated by concerns of safety, that alone should make it a joint parent discussion/decision.

Notmiefault − NAH. It was perfectly responsible to help your son understand the affect alcohol has on him in a safe space.

That said, you should have discussed it with your wife beforehand; a lot of people have very strong opinions on alcohol and her feeling that she was of the loop...

internetobscure − NAH. I think your reasoning was sound and you were the opposite of reckless.

That said, if this is something you and your wife haven't discussed before I understand why she's upset that you didn't run it by her.

Some users shared personal stories to back up the dad’s approach.

stevecrox0914 − Everyone who'd gone out at 16/17, also had parents let them try alcohol at home and didn't need alcohol to have fun

and could drink in moderation. Everyone 'protected' until 18 still can't drink responsibly even into their thirties.

Which leads me to believe the key to good parenting is to ensure your child gains life experiences in a safe controlled manner.

Others felt that six beers was simply too much for a first lesson.

ting-ting − YTA. 6 beers is a lot to drink in one sitting. In my experience, teaching someone their limit won’t stop them from over drinking.

This is especially true if they are feeling nervous at a party. Teaching your son that it’s ok to down a 6 pack of beer in one sitting is not...

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you find yourself in a similar parenting pickle, communication is your best friend. Before making a decision that bends the rules or involves significant risks, check in with your partner. Even a quick text can prevent feelings of betrayal later. It validates their role in the child’s life.

When discussing alcohol with teens, focus on education rather than just experience. Discuss peer pressure, hydration, and safe rides home. If you do choose a “test run,” ensure both parents are on board. This united front prevents the child from playing one parent against the other.

Conclusion

Parenting is often about making split-second judgment calls, and it is rare that everyone agrees on the right path. This dad prioritized immediate safety lessons, while the mom prioritized shared decision-making. Both perspectives come from a place of care.

What do you think? Was this a smart safety move, or should major parenting decisions always wait until both parents can weigh in?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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