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Woman Asks Mom To Babysit Toddler But Mom Delays For Hours Leaving Her In Migraine Chaos

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A frazzled parent, desperate for a four-hour breather amid toddler chaos and a pounding migraine, begged Grandma for babysitting relief, only to endure five hours of naps, errands, and pop-up pals that torpedoed the plan. Stranded with a screaming kid, a disabled partner, and no other kin, the Redditor exploded: favors off the table forever.

Reddit’s divided between high-fives for hard lines and murmurs of “blood’s thicker.” Pure exhaustion sparked the showdown, but did it cross into unfair?

A parent bans unreliable grandma from babysitting after repeated flakiness causes burnout and frustration.

Woman Asks Mom To Babysit Toddler But Mom Delays For Hours Leaving Her In Migraine Chaos
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my mom I'm never going to ask her to babysit again?

My husband and I haven't been baby-free in months. My husband is a SAH dad and I work a few hours a week but am mostly at home as well.

Financially we are stable enough but not where we could afford daycare or a babysitter.

As every parent knows, a break from baby is much needed every once in a while.

He's had a cold so extra cranky on top of entering typical toddler phases.

Between bleeding ears and being touched out, our nerves are shot to say the least.

I asked my mom at 11a if could she please babysit for 4 hours so we could have a break. She said yes.

My mom is our only family capable of babysitting within a 2 hour radius. She lives 15 mins from us.

However, despite her constant assurances, she is rarely available. She never says no directly but will beat around until I say never mind.

Yesterday I was desperate. Had a migraine, needed to clean, and just needed quiet for a bit. She insisted he have a nap 1st.

Logical, agreed. He slept an hour so I let her know I was coming. She said ok, then called back

and said she had to step out and she'd be back in a bit but I can bring him over because I had a key. I said I'd wait til...

I called at 1 to ask if she was home. She said no, getting food. I said ok, I'd go in another hour. She said ok.

At 2, I let her know I was heading her way. We actually get there at 3 (giving her leeway since she hadn't responded), she's still not home.

I videochat her, she's at someone's house. I told her if she didn't actually want to babysit, she really could've said that.

She says "no, I do I just hadn't seen (her friend) all year so I stopped by to say hi and got caught up talking. I'm coming!" So we waited.

She shows up at 4:30. I'm upset, migraine on 100, baby extra cranky, nothing accomplished.

I politely let her know the time frame to do what we needed has passed because dinner and bedtime was coming

and I still needed to get groceries so there was no point in her keeping him.

I gathered his stuff to leave while she's sarcastically apologizing for taking too long,

she'd already told her husband my son was coming and he wanted to see him when he got off work, just making it seem like wasn't a big deal.

I turned and told her this was a complete waste of the day, I should've never asked her because she's unreliable, even in emergencies

(which has happened twice where she's agreed to babysit then call within the hour for me to get him),

and I won't ever ask her to babysit again because it's obvious she has no interest in doing so

but would rather lead me on about it than outright say no. She gets offended and starts a tirade but I'm over it so I leave.

Later she and her husband message me saying I was being harsh and she wants to be part of her grandson's life. I wasn't being fair.

I'm wondering if I was being an AH because I upset at that moment... so am I the AH here?

Edit: character limit got me, but I should add every time I say I'd save to find a babysitter, my mom would insist family needed to keep him.

I kind of agreed due to the crap you hear about babysitters abusing kids and I know my mom wouldn't do that.

I had money to pay her to keep him and she knew this, so this isn't a case of I want free babysitting from her.

Edit: there's a few people asking about my husband and the work situation.

My husband is disabled and he's had recent medical scares (the mentioned emergencies)

that would not be good to leave him alone with baby for a typical full workday.

We tagteam our son so we get individual mini breaks as needed at home,

but there's never not a moment our son is not within our hearing or line of sight honestly.

The bills and household/child necessities are covered, my working helps out with that as well.

Overall, the reduced hours I work helps my family's needs but it doesn't constitute being able to do daycare.

I don't ask for babysitting often at all because I realize he's ours and we chose to have him and we're happy to raise him.

But again, a break every once in a while is needed. I've come to the conclusion we'll save up and try to plan

so we won't burn out instead of relying on my mom.

Final edit: I truly appreciate the feedback and advice given here. I also realize I wrote a lot

so it's understandable there are a few who've missed some points I've addressed while giving me their feedback. I apologize about that confusion.

It was a lot going on and hard to compact necessary information. Using the advice given going forward,

I know what to expect and what actions I need to take. Again, I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment.

Happy New Year to you all!!

Taking care of little babies can be tiring. In that case, grandparents are the first people one can come up with to babysit. Especially if both the parents and the grandparents are not fond of abusive paid babysitters. Although they are on the same page about that, this Redditor declares that she shall never ask her mom to look after her baby.

In this story, an exhausted parent turned to her nearby mom for a desperately needed four-hour breather from toddler chaos. Think cranky colds, “touched out” nerves, and a pounding migraine.

Mom agreed, but what started at 11 a.m. spiraled into a 4:30 p.m. arrival after detours for food runs and impromptu friend chats. The parent, nothing accomplished and dinner looming, called it quits with a firm: “I’m never asking again, you’re unreliable.

From the parent’s view, this wasn’t a one-off. Mom’s pattern of vague “yeses” followed by bush-beating evasions has burned them before, including emergencies tied to a spouse’s health scares.

They weren’t demanding free labor. In fact, they offered to pay, asked rarely, and prioritized tag-teaming at home. Yet Mom insists on “family should handle it” while dodging the actual handling.

Flip the script, though: Mom might see it as harmless flexibility. Life happens, friends matter, and a chat she hadn’t had all year shouldn’t derail grandma time.

Her sarcastic apologies and pleas to stay involved with the grandson suggest hurt feelings, not malice. Maybe she’s overwhelmed herself, craving adult time without admitting babysitting feels like a chore.

This highlights a classic family dynamic clash: the “ask” culture (direct requests) versus “guess” culture (hinting at no without saying it), as popularized in online parenting forums. In ask families, flakiness erodes trust like a leaky roof.

In guess ones, bluntness feels rude. Broader stats back the burnout angle, as a 2023 American Psychological Association survey found 53% of parents report high stress from childcare demands, with grandparent reliability a top pain point.

Barbara Greenberg, clinical psychologist, explains: “Some grandparents may feel resentful that they are being put into a child care role when they feel it is their turn to enjoy a phase of life where they are free to pursue other interests.”

This quote underscores the mutual resentment that can arise from mismatched expectations in grandparent childcare roles, mirroring the OP’s frustration with indirect refusals and highlighting the need for clear communication to avoid eroding family trust.

Neutral advice? Parents, save for occasional paid sitters or respite programs to sidestep the drama. Many communities offer sliding-scale options for disabled-family households.

Moms, own your limits: a honest “Not today, but next week?” preserves goodwill. It’s about syncing expectations before the toddler tornado hits.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Some say the mother is unreliable and caused real harm.

plfntoo − NTA If she has agreed to babysit, then obviously it needs to be done at the time it is useful,

not 4 and a half hours after the initial agreed time. Also AITA hates the idea of being able to rely on family,

so be prepared for a bunch of people who are just furious at the idea that you'd expect a bit of help on occassion.

MerlinBiggs − NTA. You spent the day in l__bo because she didn't stick to her word.

Would have been better if she'd just said no. If she wants time with grandchild, she has to be reliable.

Some note she can’t demand access without stepping up.

lilawkward-lilfunny − NTA . You said exactly what I would’ve said. I’m childfree and typically side with the family in these scenarios,

but it’s too far to tell someone you’ll babysit over and over and then not be there when you say you will.

There has to be a point where you decide you can’t keep trying.

ETA: I knew some people would bring up ‘not expecting free childcare’, b/c it’s something I typically say to people.

However, I don’t see that as the issue. You asked her, didn’t demand to expect it and it doesn’t seem to be something you ask of her often.

Also, the issue here is more the fact that she wasn’t there when she said she would be,

not that you’re complaining that she should be babysitting for you for free.

realstareyes − NTA. She wants to be a part of his life but doesn’t support you properly when you desperately need it.

She can’t make any demands when she‘s not willing to step up in return.

Some advise finding other childcare and limiting reliance.

kats1945 − NTA. She said she would. Then screwed around for several hours so she wouldn't have to.

And it's apparently not the first time she's done this. Try to find someone else you can trust with the baby for when you need it. You can't depend on...

poddy_fries − NTA. I'm sure a bunch of Redditors who are all anti-children will choose to make

'you chose to have a kid so you're the entirety of the problem' the entire focus of their response

and that's probably something that's already affecting you, but you KNOW people who do this to you over any issue are bad for mental health and blood pressure.

I suggest you look up 'ask vs guess' families to get a sense of this if you're not familiar,

but honestly, now she knows she hurt you, and I don't think she'll become any more reliable in general.

I wouldn't even especially trust her with your kid.

Some suggest cutting contact or setting firm boundaries.

nadiaxi − Nope NTA. She’s unreliable and to be honest I would cut contact for a while.

top_value7293 − NTA! I babysit my toddler grandson every day and cannot imagine ever doing this or saying no.

He just goes with me if I need to run errands lol. Your mother doesn’t know what she’s missing.

Or maybe doesn’t care, I dunno. At any rate, she’s unreliable and not very loving so I don’t blame you.

Some frame her behavior as avoidance of babysitting duty.

GroundBreakingEye44 − NTA. Your mother doesn't want to admit that she doesn't like babysitting as it sounds terrible.

Given the gravity of the situation, her family should have come first but suddenly she needs to see a friend...

She could just say she doesn't want to babysit but keeps beating around the bush

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your mom seems all over the place. If she cares about being a part of her grandchild's life, she'd be in it.

Simple as. "Oh sorry, I have to go find a flux capacitor right this moment you've asked me to babysit him", yeah no.

It can wait. But also, if you know she's like this, don't ask again.

This Redditor traded flaky hope for firm independence, vowing to save up for real breaks rather than chase Grandma’s maybes. And honestly, after that day-ruining detour, who could blame her?

Do you think the “never again” line was a fair shield against repeated letdowns, or should family get endless grace? How would you handle a loved one who promises the world but delivers nap-time excuses?

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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