A frazzled parent, desperate for a four-hour breather amid toddler chaos and a pounding migraine, begged Grandma for babysitting relief, only to endure five hours of naps, errands, and pop-up pals that torpedoed the plan. Stranded with a screaming kid, a disabled partner, and no other kin, the Redditor exploded: favors off the table forever.
Reddit’s divided between high-fives for hard lines and murmurs of “blood’s thicker.” Pure exhaustion sparked the showdown, but did it cross into unfair?
A parent bans unreliable grandma from babysitting after repeated flakiness causes burnout and frustration.
Taking care of little babies can be tiring. In that case, grandparents are the first people one can come up with to babysit. Especially if both the parents and the grandparents are not fond of abusive paid babysitters. Although they are on the same page about that, this Redditor declares that she shall never ask her mom to look after her baby.
In this story, an exhausted parent turned to her nearby mom for a desperately needed four-hour breather from toddler chaos. Think cranky colds, “touched out” nerves, and a pounding migraine.
Mom agreed, but what started at 11 a.m. spiraled into a 4:30 p.m. arrival after detours for food runs and impromptu friend chats. The parent, nothing accomplished and dinner looming, called it quits with a firm: “I’m never asking again, you’re unreliable.
From the parent’s view, this wasn’t a one-off. Mom’s pattern of vague “yeses” followed by bush-beating evasions has burned them before, including emergencies tied to a spouse’s health scares.
They weren’t demanding free labor. In fact, they offered to pay, asked rarely, and prioritized tag-teaming at home. Yet Mom insists on “family should handle it” while dodging the actual handling.
Flip the script, though: Mom might see it as harmless flexibility. Life happens, friends matter, and a chat she hadn’t had all year shouldn’t derail grandma time.
Her sarcastic apologies and pleas to stay involved with the grandson suggest hurt feelings, not malice. Maybe she’s overwhelmed herself, craving adult time without admitting babysitting feels like a chore.
This highlights a classic family dynamic clash: the “ask” culture (direct requests) versus “guess” culture (hinting at no without saying it), as popularized in online parenting forums. In ask families, flakiness erodes trust like a leaky roof.
In guess ones, bluntness feels rude. Broader stats back the burnout angle, as a 2023 American Psychological Association survey found 53% of parents report high stress from childcare demands, with grandparent reliability a top pain point.
Barbara Greenberg, clinical psychologist, explains: “Some grandparents may feel resentful that they are being put into a child care role when they feel it is their turn to enjoy a phase of life where they are free to pursue other interests.”
This quote underscores the mutual resentment that can arise from mismatched expectations in grandparent childcare roles, mirroring the OP’s frustration with indirect refusals and highlighting the need for clear communication to avoid eroding family trust.
Neutral advice? Parents, save for occasional paid sitters or respite programs to sidestep the drama. Many communities offer sliding-scale options for disabled-family households.
Moms, own your limits: a honest “Not today, but next week?” preserves goodwill. It’s about syncing expectations before the toddler tornado hits.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Some say the mother is unreliable and caused real harm.
Some note she can’t demand access without stepping up.
Some advise finding other childcare and limiting reliance.
Some suggest cutting contact or setting firm boundaries.
Some frame her behavior as avoidance of babysitting duty.
![[Reddit User] − NTA. Your mom seems all over the place. If she cares about being a part of her grandchild's life, she'd be in it.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/wp-editor-1762141573803-4.webp "Woman Asks Mom To Babysit Toddler But Mom Delays For Hours Leaving Her In Migraine Chaos")
This Redditor traded flaky hope for firm independence, vowing to save up for real breaks rather than chase Grandma’s maybes. And honestly, after that day-ruining detour, who could blame her?
Do you think the “never again” line was a fair shield against repeated letdowns, or should family get endless grace? How would you handle a loved one who promises the world but delivers nap-time excuses?
