Some family jokes get old, but this one blew up spectacularly. A Redditor shared how her older sister, adopted by their father before she was born, always loved to call herself the “chosen one.” For years, the joke rolled on as a family gag, except the poster never found it funny.
During a night out with siblings and partners, fueled by alcohol and years of pent-up annoyance, she finally snapped. Her comeback? That while their dad chose Penny, her biological dad didn’t. The table froze. Penny looked devastated. And now, the family is furious. Was this a justified clapback, or a low blow that crossed a line?
One woman told her adopted sister she wasn’t “chosen” by her bio dad after years of hearing her boast as the “chosen one,” sparking hurt feelings and family tension
Family jokes often become traditions, but they can also carry hidden wounds. In this case, Penny’s “chosen one” routine started as a lighthearted way to frame her adoption, a reassurance that she was wanted despite her difficult beginnings.
For OP, however, hearing that same joke for years built up quiet resentment, which eventually exploded into a cutting remark about her biological father’s abandonment.
Let’s be clear: Penny’s joke is a double-edged sword. On one side, it’s her coping mechanism, a reminder that she belongs.
On the other, it implicitly suggests that her siblings weren’t chosen, they were simply “stuck” with their dad. What feels like playful banter to some can feel like an undermining dig to others, especially when repeated for years. Both dynamics can coexist, and neither cancels out the other.
Psychologists note that sibling rivalries often disguise deeper insecurities. As family therapist Dr. Joshua Coleman explained in The Atlantic: “When kids feel like they are competing for love, they may adopt roles or jokes that highlight their unique place in the family. But what feels reassuring to one child can sound diminishing to another.”
Penny’s “chosen one” identity may have shielded her from feelings of rejection, but it left OP quietly stewing until alcohol and fatigue removed her filter.
So how could this have been handled better? Instead of bottling up irritation, OP might have taken Penny aside years ago and said, “I know you mean it as a joke, but it hurts when you say Dad was stuck with us.”
That would have given Penny the chance to rethink her words without humiliation. Likewise, their parents could have stepped in early to validate Penny’s worth while also correcting the narrative that undermined the other siblings.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
These users called her a jerk for cruelty, citing Penny’s likely insecurity.
However, some voted everyone was wrong, faulting Penny’s hurtful joke but condemning OP’s harshness
This wasn’t just a fight over a tired joke, it was a clash of insecurities and silence. Penny used humor to cope with abandonment, while OP bottled up years of irritation until it spilled out as cruelty. Now the family is fractured, and both sides are licking their wounds.
So, what do you think: was OP justified in finally snapping at Penny’s “chosen one” shtick, or did she cross an unforgivable line by weaponizing her sister’s deepest pain? And how would you handle a family joke that cuts a little too close to home?
