Support in a relationship can be tricky, especially when one partner’s dreams clash with the financial reality of the situation. This woman has been covering the bills after her fiancé quit his job to pursue a career as a Twitch streamer. While she has been financially supporting them both, she’s been frustrated by his lack of progress.
When he asked her to buy him a new gaming laptop for his birthday, she declined, especially after he belittled her business.
Now, he’s furious, claiming she’s ruining his career, but she feels hurt by his dismissive comments about her work. Is she justified in refusing the request, or was she too harsh?
A woman refuses to buy her fiancé an expensive gaming laptop after he insulted her business
Relationships should be based on mutual respect and equitable contributions. The OP’s decision to refuse to buy the gaming laptop is about standing up for herself and the hard work she’s put into her business.
Many people can relate to the feeling of being taken for granted, especially when one partner isn’t contributing financially or emotionally but expects the other to cover the gap.
The OP’s fiancé’s behavior, expecting her to finance his hobby without contributing, creates an imbalance that’s not only unfair but emotionally draining.
Looking at the psychology behind this, the fiancé’s expectation that the OP should buy him an expensive laptop after he quit his job to pursue an unproductive hobby reflects a sense of entitlement.
According to psychological research, entitlement in relationships occurs when one partner expects rewards or privileges without putting in equal effort.
Dr. Michelle M. D. explains, “When someone feels entitled, they expect benefits without reciprocal contributions, leading to feelings of frustration and resentment in the other person.”
The OP’s fiancé’s lack of contribution, both financially and emotionally, while continuing to indulge in his gaming hobby without taking any concrete steps to pursue a career shows a deep imbalance in their relationship.
Equity theory in psychology suggests that people feel distressed when their contributions and rewards in a relationship are not equal.
In this case, the OP is clearly doing more than her fair share by maintaining a successful business while also supporting her fiancé, yet he continues to demand more without giving back. This imbalance is bound to cause friction and strain.
The OP’s decision to refuse the laptop is not about being selfish; it’s about asserting her boundaries and recognizing that fairness is essential in a partnership.
The fiancé’s response, accusing her of being unsupportive and selfish, reflects a lack of self-awareness about the emotional labor and financial responsibility that the OP is shouldering.
By expecting a new gaming laptop without contributing to the relationship’s financial well-being, he’s showing a disregard for the effort and sacrifices the OP is making.
In conclusion, the OP is right to set boundaries and protect herself from feeling emotionally drained and taken for granted. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, contribution, and communication.
The OP’s refusal to buy the laptop serves as a clear message that she needs to be treated as an equal partner, not a financial supporter for his hobbies.
It’s important in relationships for both partners to contribute in ways that are fair and balanced and to recognize the hard work and sacrifices made by the other.
The OP’s stance is a necessary reminder that in healthy relationships, equity matters, and one partner’s needs should not outweigh the other’s contributions.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
This group criticizes the boyfriend for mooching off OP, questioning what he contributes to the relationship
These users encourage OP to dump the boyfriend immediately, calling him selfish, entitled, and manipulative for trying to live off her while pursuing unrealistic dreams
This group highlights the ridiculousness of the boyfriend’s age and career goals, suggesting he’s acting like a child and exploiting OP’s hard work
These Redditors strongly advise OP to end the relationship
Was OP wrong for refusing to buy her fiancé a $3,000 laptop after he disrespected her job and made no effort to contribute financially? The overwhelming consensus from the internet is a resounding no, OP was not in the wrong.
Her fiancé’s entitled behavior and failure to appreciate her efforts are serious relationship red flags. Should OP continue to support him in his endeavors, or is it time to reevaluate the relationship altogether? Share your thoughts below!
