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He Asked for a Divorce Over Intimacy. Then the Internet Asked About His Child.

by Sunny Nguyen
March 18, 2026
in Social Issues

For six years, he believed he had a passionate marriage. The kind where chemistry came easily and intimacy felt effortless. Then they had a baby.

Two years later, he was ready to walk away.

A 34 year old husband recently admitted he told his 32 year old wife he wanted a divorce because their sex life was no longer what it used to be. Before parenthood, he described their relationship as electric. They traveled. They flirted. They had spontaneous afternoon sex just because they could. He felt desired. Chosen.

After pregnancy and childbirth, everything shifted. Not overnight, but steadily. Sex became scheduled. Less frequent. Sometimes it happened, but it felt to him like an obligation rather than desire. When she said she was tired, he heard rejection. When she said she was overwhelmed, he heard excuses.

After two years of what he saw as stagnation, he told her he could not live like this anymore.

He gave her an ultimatum.

He Asked for a Divorce Over Intimacy. Then the Internet Asked About His Child.
Not the actual photo

Here is how that landed.

AITAH for divorcing my wife because our sex life will never be what it used to be?I (34M) asked my wife (32F) for a divorce two days ago.

We’ve been married six years. We have a two-year-old. Before the baby, our relationship was… electric. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

We traveled, we flirted, we had sex in the middle of the afternoon just because we could. I felt wanted. Desired. Important.

After she got pregnant, things slowed down. I understood that. After the birth, things changed even more.

I tried to be patient. I really did. The first few months were survival mode. Sleepless nights. Diapers. Crying. I figured once things stabilized, we’d find our way back.

But we never did.

Our sex life didn’t disappear. It just became… scheduled. Predictable. Tired. She was “exhausted” most nights. Or “not in the mood.” Or she’d agree, but it felt like she was...

I told her I missed us. She said she missed us too. I asked what we could do to fix it. She said she didn’t know.

We tried therapy. I found a therapist I liked and suggested we go together. She said she didn’t really connect with him, but we kept going anyway.

Most sessions turned into discussions about emotional labor, division of chores, mental load. I felt like everything became about what I wasn’t doing instead of what I needed.

I need intimacy. Physical intimacy is how I feel loved.

Two nights ago, after another “I’m tired,” I told her I couldn’t keep living like this.

I said if this was our new normal, I didn’t want it. I told her I would file for divorce if things didn’t change.

She cried. She asked me to give it time. I said we’ve been giving it time for two years.

Now she barely looks at me.

I posted because I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable for wanting my marriage to feel like a marriage again.

Update (one week later):

I didn’t expect the comments to hit me the way they did.

Especially the ones about my child.

I didn’t mention him because the post was about sex. But reading it back, it does sound like he’s an afterthought. That wasn’t intentional… but maybe it’s telling.

I work full-time. She works part-time and handles most of the childcare. I do dishes sometimes. I mow the lawn.

I thought that was contributing. But when I actually wrote down everything she does in a week, it wasn’t even close.

I realized something uncomfortable: when she says she’s tired, I hear rejection. When she says she’s overwhelmed, I hear excuse.

But maybe she actually is overwhelmed.

We talked again last night. I didn’t threaten divorce. I asked her what she needs to feel supported.

She said she needs to not feel like another demand is waiting for her at the end of the day.

That hurt. But I get it.

We’re looking for a different couples therapist. One she feels comfortable with. I’m also taking over bedtime three nights a week and Saturday mornings completely.

I don’t know if our sex life will ever look like it did at 28 with no responsibilities.

But maybe that’s the wrong goal.

Maybe the goal isn’t to get the old version back. Maybe it’s to build a new one that fits who we are now.

I’m not filing for divorce.

At least not today.

And for the first time in a while, that feels like the right decision.

 

Here's the comments of Reddit users:

AccordingStruggle417 − No mention of the child. Not even one.

soyeah_87 − Waiting for the "I've drastically over-estimated my market value and am now miserable but my ex wife is flourishing" post.

Lady-Meows-a-Lot − “It’s been two. whole. days. since I told her I was going to divorce her if she didn’t start putting out. Why doesn’t she want to f__k me...

Xiallaci − Whats very telling about your story is that all you ever talk about is s__ and what you want, but never about what you actively did to improve...

Even your story about therapy revolves around me and my needs but never about what my role in this was. If you're going to be this selfcentered then yes, divorce...

[Reddit User] − I feel we are missing huge pieces of info here. There is not a single line which mentions what he has done to improve his wife’s state...

He just said there’s no s__, she’s not worked on it and now I’m divorcing her.

It’s all on her and he doesn’t think any of this is on him. He doesn’t even sound like you see any value in her outside the bedroom.

Maybe the compromise was explained as that if he doesn’t step up and emotionally support his wife, or physically support her as a parent/chores,

then the lack of s__ will be the causality because wife is exhausted from carrying the mental load. YTA.

Sad-Kale-8179 − Just admit that you wanted the easiest and fastest solution based on your post. You want s__ and you want it NOW. Wife and child (your family) be...

Amirite? Your wife will probably get her groove back once she's with someone who values her and is willing to work hard for the relationship.

[Reddit User] − The fact that you show no remorse for leaving your child (and in fact don't talk about your child at all) says to me that fatherhood isn't...

Based on this post alone, you probably shouldn't have gotten married and you definitely shouldn't have had a kid. I feel bad for your child.

SignatureTimely6839 − Nothing has changed in two days! ?!? Oh my god! ?! U are the a__hole

Edit: I'm just going to edit the comment because some people didn't understand the post. Ya'll, this couple HAVE S__.

He is saying he is unhappy its not as sexy/as much as before she birthed and started keeping this tiny human alive. No dead bedrooms here.

AlmostAlwaysADR − You really think you're going to be getting laid more often when you're not married? A selfish divorced dad isn't exactly a rare commodity these days.

What are you doing to make this situation better? Because you mentioned nothing about how your wife is handling the massive upheaval that is pregnancy and child birth.

Itsjake0 − Have you ever even considered a different couples theropist? You found a person who worked for you individually, why didn’t you choose a couples therapist who works for...

S__ after birth is complicated and an emotional journey for a woman. Their hormones are different which affect how they approach s__. Men are visually stimulated and driven by our...

Women have to be mentally stimulated and if she is mentally worn out from being a new mother there isn’t energy or room for her to be intimate.

This is where the “not in the mood” comes from. If you love your wife and child then giving up rather than looking for a different theropist. YTA.

YNTA if you learn more about how your wife works and learn how to grow your s__ life back into what you both want.

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/8 votes | 13%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 7/8 votes | 88%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/8 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/8 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/8 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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