Mom Draws The Line On Daughter’s Relentless Climbing- Husband Calls It Harsh!
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Mom Draws the Line on Daughter’s Relentless Climbing- Husband Calls It Harsh!

Charles Butler by Charles Butler
July 4, 2025
in Blog
Reading Time: 13 mins read
Mom Draws the Line on Daughter’s Relentless Climbing- Husband Calls It Harsh!

Picture a mom desperate for a break as her 12-year-old daughter treats her like a human jungle gym. In a Reddit post blowing up online, this mom’s plea to stop her daughter’s relentless climbing, complete with feet in her face and possible autism in the mix, has sparked a family feud.

   
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Her bodybuilder husband shrugs it off, but she’s drawing a hard line. Dive into the drama below! Is she wrong for wanting space? Let’s unpack this wild saga.

A mom’s fight for personal space isn’t cruelty, it’s a stand for sanity. Why’s her husband slamming her instead of supporting her?

Mom Draws the Line on Daughter’s Relentless Climbing- Husband Calls It Harsh!

When Love Gets Too Close for Comfort

Aita For Making My Daughter Uncomfortable When She Wont Leave Me Alone?

My daughter is twelve and is obsessed with sitting on me, climbing all over me and her dad, etc. We have feet in our face and she's recently started scraping her teeth against us. Her dad is okay with it, he's a body builder and can take it pretty well. I am not.

My daughter has got her fathers physique and is almost the same size as me. I'm okay with cuddling her but she doesn't want to cuddle, she just wants to climb. She hates being tickled on her feet. She wont listen when I tell her to get off and while her dad can just toss her off, I can not. As such I will just tickle her. I usually get kicked but she does get off.

Recently she's expressed that she doesnt want me to touch her feet, and I told her I dont want her to climb on me. She got pretty upset and told me it was because she loved me. We had a pretty long conversation about how we can do other things to make each other happy.

That conversation went straight out the window as soon as her dad was home again and she was climbing over me again. I told her I would just tickle her, she didnt get off, and I did. She got upset again, and her dad thinks I'm being cruel. I think she needs to stop climbing on me.

He insists that uts just the way she is, saying he was the same as a kid, and she just wants to show her love.. I understand that she loves me, but having her climb all over me is very uncomfortable.. Am I the a**hole here?.

Important info I missed; she has suspected autism we're trying to get diagnosed.

Parenting a high-energy kid can feel like starring in a sitcom where you’re the punchline. For one Redditor, her nearly adult-sized 12-year-old daughter’s climbing obsession, driven by love, leaves Mom bruised and breathless. A suspected autism diagnosis adds a twist, potentially explaining the sensory-seeking behavior, while Dad’s laid-back attitude fuels the chaos. So, how does a mom cope when her daughter’s affection feels like a wrestling match?

Sensory Needs vs. Personal Space

Let’s break it down. The daughter’s climbing likely serves a sensory purpose, especially with autism in the picture. As Reddit user IChooseYouSnorlax noted, this could tie to sensory processing, where climbing or even teeth-scraping meets a need for proprioception: deep pressure to feel grounded. But Mom’s not a jungle gym, and her discomfort is real. The core issue is boundaries: Mom craves peace, Dad sees the climbing as harmless affection, and the daughter’s upset when Mom tickles her feet to deter her.

This family’s struggle reflects a universal challenge: balancing personal space in close relationships. A 2023 American Psychological Association study found 68% of parents struggle to set boundaries with kids due to differing family comfort levels. It’s a classic tug-of-war: one person’s love language can feel like an invasion to another. Here, Mom’s attempt at teaching consent through tickling backfires, escalating emotions.

Redirecting Love, Not Rejecting It

Dr. John Gottman, a leading family therapist, emphasizes, “Empathy is the key to resolving conflict in relationships” (Psychology Today). Mom needs empathy for her daughter’s sensory needs, but Dad and daughter must respect her limits.

An occupational therapist could offer alternatives like chewy necklaces or weighted blankets to redirect sensory-seeking behavior. For now, Mom could use clear, consistent phrases like, “I love you, but climbing hurts. Let’s cuddle side by side instead.” It’s about redirecting love, not rejecting it.

The bigger picture? Boundaries benefit everyone. Teaching a 12-year-old to respect “no” fosters healthier relationships long-term. Reddit’s buzzing with ideas, but what’s your take: how should this family balance love and limits?

Reddit’s popping off, and it’s spicier than your aunt’s gossip!

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

In a thoughtful response to a sensitive situation, sunflowertkay emphasizes the importance of teaching consent, highlighting a valuable lesson in personal boundaries.

sunflowertkay − NTA. This is a good time for her to learn about consent.

Bettyblueeyes offers a compelling perspective on parenting, stressing the importance of teaching children about consent and consequences through clear boundaries and natural outcomes.

bettyblueeyes − NTA. You are trying to show your daughter that it's not nice when people make you uncomfortable. If she doesn't want you to touch her feet, you won't, unless she climbs on top of you in which case it is a *consequence* of her actions.

Kids need to be taught consequences and 12 is old enough to know what 'no' and 'this will happen if you do X' means.

Wallflowersun underscores the importance of mutual respect in setting boundaries, highlighting the need for parents to model and enforce consistent limits with their daughter while questioning how physical affection like climbing can truly convey love.

Wallflowersun − NTA your husband and you have different set of boundaries. You need set your boundaries with your daughter specially when she’s asking them for herself but not wanting to respect yours. How can a child express love through climbing another person?

IChooseYouSnorlax provides a compassionate and insightful perspective, suggesting that the behaviors in question may stem from a sensory processing issue potentially linked to autism.

IChooseYouSnorlax − she has suspected autism we're trying to get diagnosed. This doesn't sound like a spectrum issue. This sounds like a **sensory** issue. There are many comorbidities common to Autism, and one of them is Sensory Processing Disorder.

The biting (for lack of a better word describing the 'teeth scraping') is related to proprioception. Try a chewy necklace or bracelet for her. The problem you're having is trying to **stop** her behaviours instead of **replacing** them.

She needs to find alternative ways to get the same sensory input. You really need an evaluation done, but I highly recommend getting her into occupational therapy. The therapist **will** be able to address all your concerns, and have ideas to help you and your family.

I hope you can get her the support she needs, so that everyone can benefit!

PenelopeDreddfull firmly supports reinforcing personal boundaries with clear communication, while questioning the daughter’s age and emphasizing that she should be mature enough to recognize when her actions cause discomfort.

PenelopeDreddfull − NTA, you need to be louder in expressing your boundaries and your discomfort. Also INFO, how old is your daughter?? She sounds like she's more than old enough to know when she's hurting you!

Jkrames thoughtfully frames the situation as a valuable lesson in boundaries and autonomy, stressing that love doesn’t justify unwanted touch and that individual boundaries, like those between the parent and her husband, should be respected while offering alternative ways to express affection.

jkrames − NAH, except maybe your husband. This is a great opportunity to teach about boundaries and autonomy, and how it doesn't matter how much someone loves you, they don't ever have the right to touch you in ways you don't want. There are other ways to show love.

If her dad is fine with it then it's fine for him, but different people have different boundaries.

Jazzlike_Humor3340 offers a nuanced perspective, gently calling out the inconsistency of violating boundaries to teach respect, and suggests a collaborative approach with the husband to establish a unified strategy.

Jazzlike_Humor3340 − Minor YTA You don't teach someone to respect boundaries by violating their boundaries. You only teach them that violating boundaries is something you can do if you can get away from it. You and her dad need to have a conversation, without her being there, about how to deal with this.

Point out that he is much bigger than you, and while he is comfortable with her on him, she's now close to your size, and this physically hurts you. Then you need a strategy you both agree on and he backs you with. You may need to keep it simpler with your daughter. '***You are big now, nearly as big as I am. When you were little, you could sit on my lap. Now you are big and too heavy.

Please sit next to me, and I'll put my arm around your shoulder so we can be close. ***' If she continues ***'When you sit on me, it is uncomfortable. You can sit next to me so that we are close and both are comfortable, or you can sit elsewhere. Let me know which you choose***.

' This respects both her desire for closeness and your need for her not to hurt you. It sets a boundary, but lets her choose how she will respect it (sit next to you, or sit elsewhere. ) ***An equally big issue is that your husband is not respecting your right to boundaries or physical comfort.

No, people don't get to hurt you because they want to be close. If he thinks that is okay, that's a serious issue.

FuriousPI314 strongly affirms the parent’s right to personal space, praising the approach of teaching alternative ways to express affection while emphasizing that the daughter, being old enough, needs to learn about respecting boundaries for future relationships.

FuriousPI314 − NTA. You are a human person, not a jungle gym. You did a great thing by discussing other ways to show you care with her. Your husband and daughter both need to learn that just because that is how they show love, it is not how you receive it.

She will need to learn that for future relationships and is old enough to start learning respect and boundaries.

SleuthingSloth009 passionately defends the parent’s efforts to teach consent, sharply criticizing the husband for his unsupportive attitude in the face of this important lesson.

SleuthingSloth009 − NTA You're teaching her consent and your husband is an a**hole for criticizing you.

CharlieFiner delivers a firm stance, asserting that while autism may explain the daughter’s behavior, it does not excuse it, and emphasizes that she is old enough to learn boundaries, reinforcing that no one should be faulted for rejecting uncomfortable touch.

CharlieFiner − NTA and the Autism, while an explanation for the behavior, is not an excuse. She is old enough to learn boundaries. You are never an a**hole for not letting someone touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable.

Are these nuggets of wisdom or just Reddit’s peanut gallery?

This mom finds herself tangled in a classic parenting struggle, teaching boundaries without breaking bonds. Her daughter’s climbing may come from love, but love doesn’t cancel out comfort.

Was tickling a fair consequence or a step too far? Should her husband support her need for space, or is he right to defend his daughter’s way of connecting?

In a home where affection gets physical, how do you draw the line between closeness and discomfort, without hurting anyone in the process? Drop your thoughts below and join the conversation.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

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