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Nurse Prioritizes Safety When Patient Demands Help That Requires a Full Team

by Carolyn Mullet
December 20, 2025
in Social Issues

Hospitals are places where compassion meets the very real limits of the human body. We rely on nurses and medical staff to help us when we are at our most vulnerable. However, we sometimes forget that these caregivers have to look after their own well-being too. It is a delicate balance between providing comfort and ensuring safety for everyone involved.

A nurse recently opened up about a challenging shift involving a patient with specific needs. The situation became complicated due to the patient’s desire to film the interaction and her frustration with hospital protocols. It raises important questions about where a patient’s requests end and a nurse’s safety begins. This story reminds us that clear communication is often the most important tool in medicine.

The nurse found herself in a situation that required careful negotiation. She had to explain to a patient that moving her required more hands than were currently available.

The Story:

Nurse Prioritizes Safety When Patient Demands Help That Requires a Full Team
Not the actual photo

AITAH for telling my morbidly obese patient that we need a team of people to roll her so that we don’t hurt our backs?

Hi. Med surge nurse here. I got a new patient last night. She is a 450 ish lb woman in her 30s

who just had a major surgery. She is also a “body positivity” “influencer” who wanted to record everyone to “document her journey.

We had to explain to her that in our state she cannot record any hospital employees without their consent, and all of us

are refusing consent because we do not want to be in her videos. Anywho, she needed to use the bedpan.

She could not lift her hips, and her legs were too wide for me to wiggle the bed pan between them.

I explained to her that she would have to roll on her side, and then I would place the bed pan under her,

and then she would roll back. She tried to roll but couldn’t do it. I told her no big deal,

I will go find a few staff members to help and we will roll you. The only person who could help

at the time was the cna, who is pregnant. I explained to the patient that we just don’t have enough staff

free right not to roll her, it’s just me and the cna, so we will have to wait a little bit

for more people to be free. She huffed, and asked why the two of us can’t just roll her. I explained

that I don’t want either of us to hurt our backs, especially not my pregnant cna,

and that it would be safer for us to wait for more people. Side note, this patient sucked at rolling herself.

She was dead weight, putting in little to no effort. She was pissed at me saying that, and she wanted

to speak to my charge nurse. She said I hurt her feelings. My charge nurse ended up being

part of the team that helped me roll her, and while we were doing it she basically scolded the patient,

and said that her feelings are not more important than us not getting injured. She still thinks I’m an a__hole,

and I happily offered her the phone number she can call to file a formal complaint. Those do literally nothing by the way. AITAH?

My heart goes out to the nurse in this situation. It is incredibly difficult to tell someone in need that they have to wait. Nurses are natural helpers, and saying “no” likely felt very uncomfortable.

At the same time, we can have empathy for the patient’s embarrassment. Being unable to move on your own is a very vulnerable state. However, the nurse was absolutely right to prioritize safety.

Protecting a pregnant colleague from potential injury is an act of responsibility. It is wonderful to see the charge nurse step in with support. We often fear setting boundaries, but this story shows that they are necessary for keeping everyone safe and healthy.

Expert Opinion

This narrative touches on a critical issue known as safe patient handling. It is one of the most significant challenges in modern healthcare. According to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA), healthcare workers face a higher risk of musculoskeletal disorders than workers in almost any other industry.

These injuries often occur during manual lifting or repositioning of patients. When a patient exceeds a certain weight or mobility limit, using a team or mechanical lift is not just a preference. It is a mandatory safety protocol.

Dr. Lynda Enos, an expert in ergonomics, states that “manual lifting of patients should be minimized in all cases.” She explains that the cumulative strain on a nurse’s spine can lead to career-ending injuries. You can read more about safe handling here.

There is also a psychological layer to this story. The patient’s reaction suggests she may have been using anger to mask feelings of shame or loss of control. VeryWellMind discusses how vulnerability often presents as defensiveness.

In this case, the nurse did an excellent job of remaining professional. She validated the task at hand while adhering to the physical reality of the situation. Her refusal to compromise safety is actually a sign of high-quality care. A gathered team ensures that the patient is moved smoothly and without risk of a fall.

The influence of social media adds another layer of stress. Hospital policies regarding filming are strict for a reason. They exist to protect the privacy and dignity of both the staff and the other patients on the unit.

Community Opinions

The online community rushed to support the nurse. They largely agreed that safety simply cannot be compromised for convenience.

Many readers emphasized that a nurse’s health is just as important as the patient’s comfort.

californiababyyy − NTA. Your priority is the safety and well-being of both yourself and your pregnant colleague.

This patient should understand the limitations and challenges... It's not about hurting her feelings, it's about protecting yourselves from potential injuries.

sassyfingerlickin − NTA. You prioritized the safety of your co-workers and yourself over the patient's feelings, which is exactly what a good nurse should do.

Plus, the patient should know better than to put their own ego above someone else's well-being.

EfRo1607 − Obviously NTA! Nurse here too... Your safety and her safety is important,

what if she fell out of the bed? Who could help her then? There you have a problem!

Commenters pointed out that physical limitations are simply a fact of life that must be respected.

Beginning-Buy8293 − The patient sounds like a delusional a__hole. Unfortunately for her, physics and human anatomy are paramount.

I wouldn't want to hurt myself trying to move her and don't blame you for wanting a team to do so.

azsue123 − Nta Body positivity is great. This isn't it. This is delusion.

You can learn to love yourself in any shape but physics exists and your body is subject to the laws of physics.

Happyweekend69 − NTA... YOUR health is equally as important as hers, this is a hell of her own making

and you are supposed to work many years from now I can imagine so you can’t go around destroying your back years before retiring

Several users applauded the team for refusing to be filmed and standing their ground.

Automatic-Rush4259 − NTA and everyone on staff there needs to be pay close attention to this patient

and make sure she isn’t secretly recording anything... I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and hope she goes home soon.

Queenpunkster − NTA. AND please protect yourself.  Do not see or interact with her alone. You need a witness to any interaction.

Document it all. I strongly recommend you call risk management NOW to make sure you have backup on any filming policies...

People were happy to see management backing up the nurse on duty.

prettylenax − NTA. Your priority is patient safety and the well-being of your team...

You handled it professionally, and your charge nurse backed you up, which shows you were in the right.

BeeYehWoo − >and while we were doing it she basically scolded the patient, and said that

her feelings are not more important than us not getting injured. Bravo to your charge nurse for not putting up with this...

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

It can be very daunting to say “no” to someone who is in distress. However, protecting your own body is essential. If you are in a caregiving role, try to use “we” language to show cooperation. You might say, “We want to make sure you are moved safely, so we are going to wait for the proper help.”

Validate their feelings without apologizing for the boundary. You could say, “I know waiting is frustrating, and I appreciate your patience.” This acknowledges their experience while keeping the boundary firm. Remember that taking care of yourself is the only way you can continue to take care of others.

Conclusion

This story is a powerful example of the difficult decisions medical staff face every single day. The nurse chose to prioritize the long-term health of her team over immediate satisfaction. It serves as a reminder that patience is often a necessary part of safe healthcare.

What are your thoughts on this hospital interaction? Is it ever okay to prioritize feelings over safety protocols? We would love to hear how you handle setting physical boundaries in your own workplace.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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