Woman Demands $100K From Parents For College Expenses After Years Of Favoring Her Brothers

Raised in a home where rigid gender roles were the norm, one woman’s aspirations were repeatedly disregarded by her parents. While her brothers received full financial support for their college education, she was told she would never be allowed to apply, with her future expected to be centered around homemaking.

Despite these limitations, she secretly applied to college, fought to finance her education, and graduated with a degree in engineering, a triumph achieved through sheer willpower and sacrifice. Now, years later, her parents want to reconnect, offering a vague apology for the pain they caused.

But when they failed to fully acknowledge the harm they’d done, she made a bold demand: that they cover the cost of her degree, just like they did for her brothers. Was it wrong for her to make this request, or is it a justified way to seek accountability? Scroll down to find out how this emotional family confrontation plays out.

A woman demands her parents repay her college expenses after they apologize for past hurt

It hurts to grow up feeling invisible in one’s own family. The OP was raised in a household where her brothers received full support for college while she was told she must stay home.

That gap in opportunity wasn’t just about money; it became a message that her ambitions were less worthy. When her parents now apologize superficially, her request for equivalent educational support is not about exact dollars, but about being seen, valued, and respected.

The emotional dynamics here run deep. Her refusal to accept a vague “we’re sorry” without real accountability conveys that the hurt still matters. It’s about more than not being invited to apply; it’s about being told you didn’t belong in that space. The OP’s stance is a way of affirming her own worth.

Meanwhile, her parents’ reluctance to acknowledge the specifics of their actions reinforces the imbalance: the family dynamic may have normalized favoring sons and sidelining their daughter, and that perpetuates the pain.

Research into parental favouritism shows long‑term emotional and psychological consequences when children perceive unequal treatment.

A meta‑analysis from the American Psychological Association found that differential treatment, allocating more resources, attention or opportunities to some children over others, can result in lower self‑esteem, increased anxiety, and strained sibling or parent‑child relationships for the unfavoured child.

Studies into gender roles indicate that girls in families with rigid gender norms often face diminished educational and career opportunities, which reinforce feelings of inferiority and chronic inequality.

When we interpret these insights in the OP’s context: her parents’ decision to fund her brothers’ education but not hers isn’t just financial, it expresses a belief about gender and potential. By quietly defying that and forging her own path, she reclaimed autonomy.

Her request for equivalent support now is less a demand for reimbursement and more a symbol: recognition of what was withheld, and a boundary around how much further she’s willing to carry the silent hurt. That doesn’t make her unreasonable; it makes her boundary‑setting, after years of internalized invalidation.

For those in similar situations, a useful step may be to articulate not only what was done, but what you need to feel seen: “I need to know you valued my ambitions and would support them the way you did my brothers.”

This can open a conversation toward genuine repair. If that repair isn’t forthcoming, standing firm in your self‑worth is not cruelty, it’s protection.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These Redditors all supported the idea that the user’s family treated them unfairly

This group emphasized that the parents’ lack of sincere apology and their late interest in the user’s life were unacceptable and rooted in selfish motives

These commenters cheered on the user for setting boundaries

This group noted the family’s misogynistic treatment and the user’s strength in overcoming those obstacles

This user suggested that taking the money would complicate the user’s relationship with their family further

Is OP wrong for demanding compensation for the money she spent on her education while her brothers got full support? Was OP’s demand justified? Let us know what you think in the comments below!